Fuhgeddaboutit: “Corky Romano,” an offer you can refuse

Yet another “Saturday Night Live” cast member tries their hand at the big
screen. This time, it’s everyone’s favourite little guy, Chris Kattan in Corky Romano. However, this movie is far from being laugh-out loud funny.
The plot is ridiculous. Kattan plays the title character, a veterinarian’s
assistant who also happens to be the son of an ailing mob boss, who is this close to life behind bars. Corky’s bumbling brothers decide to give him a false identity to infiltrate the FBI to see what evidence they have against their father, Pops. Funnily enough, Corky somehow becomes a great agent and of course, hijinx ensue.
After creating such memorable characters as Mr. Peepers and Mango, this is one I’m sure we will all want to forget.
Playing an assistant to a vet, Corky is oblivious to the fact that his father is a mob boss. He completely blocks out anything negative, which is why he believes he is actually a landscaper.
Rob Pritts, who makes a less than honourable directorial debut, does not have an all-star cast to work with either, unless of course you count the animals.
Vinessa Shaw plays the less than convincing love interest of Kattan. Peter Berg and Chris Penn play his brothers, one illiterate and the other a closet homosexual. And Peter Falk, best known for his role as Columbo, will never get his career back on track after this debacle.
But I must confess, there are two bright spots in the movie. Perhaps the only scene which is remotely funny involves Corky accidentally ingesting a gross amount of cocaine then twitching wildly, all while lecturing a group of young kids. The other is the music, which we get a taste of from the previews when we see Kattan driving his yellow Miata while singing A-Ha’s hit “Take on Me”.
Of course there are the die hard “SNL” fans who believe anything by a cast member will automatically equal box office gold. To them, I say go ahead, keep believing. For the rest of us, maybe we should tell the cast that they just aren’t funny away from the famed New York set.
Bottom line, studios never cease to amaze me. They seem to produce movies just for money, forgetting to give their audiences quality. Earth to Touchstone Pictures and Disney, Corky Romano is worse than a dead fish wrapped in yesterdays paper! How a movie like this was given the green light is beyond me, but maybe this mystery is best left unsolved.

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