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by Archives September 16, 2008

Local and National

We’re happier than the United States. So suck it.

Canadians are often made fun of. American television often laughs at Canada’s expense – foreigners seem to think Canadian bacon is something of a joke, visitors often gripe about the loonie and the toonie.
You know, words hurt sometimes.
Maybe it’s because of this that Canadians have a tendency to bring up their superiority as relative to the United States’ inferiority.
Well, here’s something to add to the list of “Things That Make Canada Better Than the U.S.:”
The World Database of Happiness ranked Canada as the eighth happiest nation.
The United States didn’t even make top 15, even placing behind Mexico.
Too bad happiness isn’t measured by how many cars have bumper stickers bearing their nation’s flag.
The database is maintained by one of the world’s leading happiness researchers, based in the Netherlands.

Harper calls himself a fruit

There’s no period of adjustment in the federal election.
Media didn’t care that the party leaders hadn’t even been campaigning a full week; they have questions and they want answers.
Speaking from the produce aisle of a grocery store while campaigning in Winnipeg last week, Harper was challenged: If he were to be any vegetable, what kind would he be?
After looking over both shoulders, surveying the options, Harper turned back to the microphone, with a look of content, for he had found an answer in a seemingly no-win situation.
“I would chose, if I had to, instead to be a fruit,” he said. “Just what I am, sweet and colourful.”
Bravo, Mr. Harper. Bravo, media.

Lance Armstrong in Tremblant

Forty people took part in a bike ride last weekend.
Not just any ride, though.
This was a 100 km route in which participants had the opportunity to ride alongside cycling legend Lance Armstrong.
Each cyclist had to raise a minimum of $25,000 in order to participate.
The money raised for “Ride with Lance” benefits the cancer care mission at the McGill University Health Centre and the Cedars Cancer Institute.
Although the event was cut short due to dangerous weather conditions, organizers say it is still expected to raise $1 million for cancer research.

Marois sidelined by self

Parti Québécois leader Pauline Marois is recovering after her appendix was removed last week.
She went to the Lakeshore General Hospital complaining of nausea and stomachaches. While these tests revealed her appendix was causing the symptoms.
Her media aide, Marie Barretet, said there were no complications in the surgery.
Barrette says that, although Marois will not be able to work for about 10 days, there will not be an interim leader.

Another riot?

Individual game tickets for the Habs’ 2008-2009 season went on sale last weekend.
But the electronic purchasing system wasn’t functioning.
Those who waited outside the Bell Centre and got their bracelets might consider themselves lucky.
Even though they were limited to four tickets per person, at least they got them.
Fans who were hoping to buy tickets by Internet or phone didn’t get anything.
Those who don’t have a choice but to buy online or by phone will have to wait until the glitches are fixed.
The sale of individual tickets has been postponed until Sept. 17 at noon.

NDG seasonal market

Every Saturday during the month of September NDG is hosting a seasonal market.
Instead of going to the Provigo for fruits and vegetables, those in the area can buy locally produced fruits and vegetables.
Everybody’s welcome to make their way to the open air market to taste, buy or just admire the fresh produce while being entertained by local musicians.

Cops get desk duty

The two police involved in Freddy Villanueva’s shooting death have had their duties reassigned.
They’ll be taking care of administrative duties until the SQ concludes its investigation in the incident.
Whether either of the police will regain their previous positions is questionable.

On to Ottawa for 9/11 Truth

Members of the “9/11 Truth” movement, who believe the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks in the United States were actually conducted by the American government, gathered on Parliament Hill on Thursday. The small group of protesters, including some who drove from B.C., wants Ottawa to open an investigation into the attacks, which killed 24 Canadians. The “truthers,” as they call themselves, didn’t mention what sort of jurisdiction they think the Canadian government would have in a foreign country.

Blood and puppies

Police on Vancouver Island are looking for a hunter they believe shot a puppy. The four-month old Jack Russell terrier was the pet of Max Rose, 12, who had just completed treatment for a brain tumor. According to the family, the dog was a replacement for a previous pet that helped Rose through his battle with cancer, and was recently put to sleep. The RCMP has confirmed that while they have a suspect, they have not found him yet. Dick Chaney was not available for comment.


What would Willy Wonka do?

The owner of a candy store in Berlin was taken into custody late last week on suspicion of drug dealing.
Police locked the doors of the sweet shop for good when they found the owner was selling candies, lollipops and chocolates laced with marijuana and mushrooms.
There were reports of a (apparently intoxicated) man being arrested after trying to buy mushrooms from a cop while the store was being raided.

Not from the 1963 archives:

Lee Harvey Oswald may have had a partner when he assassinated President John F. Kennedy.
A statistics professor at Texas A&M formed a six-member group to analyze the composition of bullet fragments from the shooting.
Government experts concluded in 1976 that the retrieved bullet fragments were rare and could have only come from two bullets.
The new research showed that on Nov. 22, 1963 JFK was hit with “two or more” bullets.
They are suggesting that a third was fired, but missed.
The scientists don’t claim that this research proves there was a second gunman; just that the single-gunman theory can’t be supported by science.

While we were concerned about Kim Jong Il’s health . . .

North Korea went and built a long-range missile base.
This one is apparently larger and more “capable” than the one intelligence already knew about.
Construction of the base, which was first spotted by satellites in the early spring, began approximately eight years ago, according to analysts.
Analysts who photographed the site released images on their website last week.
The missile base was built on a small village’s land, which was displaced in order to enable construction.
American intelligence officials and analysts say that North Korea hasn’t used the new site yet, and that it will likely be used for a real flight-test program.

Kids and guns

A first-grader in Michigan was suspended after showing off his gun to a classmate.
The classmate, after seeing the gun, ran to his teacher, and snitched.
A report quoted the local police chief saying the gun was “only a small .25-caliber automatic.”
He commented that the gun was probably a little complex for the hands of a six-year-old.
“It could not have been fired without the child pulling back the slide and chambering the round. It probably would have been outside his knowledge to do so.”
Well, nothing to worry about then.

Charity gone wrong

A Ramadan tradition turned into a stampede, leaving at least 21 people dead in Indonesia.
Families were waiting to take part in Zakat, a practice in which wealthy Muslims give some of their money to charity once a year.
The wealthy family in Pasuruan, a small town in Indonesia, hands out about $4 per person annually.
This year’s crowd was bigger than in the past, causing disorder and confusion.
People collapsed due to a lack of oxygen and others were trampled.
Officials are still not clear what started the stampede.

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