Sexe Cité, 1821 Sainte-Catherine St. West, corner St-Mathieu (conveniently located a hop, skip and a jump from SGW) Metro Guy-Concordia
As I walked in the first thing that caught my eye was the wall of porn movies to the right. I soon learned from the saleswoman that the movies are their biggest sellers. As I was looking at all the categories: Asian, anal, bondage, I asked the saleswoman what the most popular category was: “transexual, bondage, it’s really mixed.”
Gag gifts are just fun, so after the bondage talk I needed a good laugh. One of the funniest things in this section had to be a vibrating rubber duck dressed in bondage with a ball gag in his beak. Not exactly Ernie from Sesame Street’s rubber duckie. I also found the perfect gift for the vegetarian or vegetable -loving girl in your life, a cucumber dildo.
One amazing tip I discovered was that when tasting lube it’s always a great idea to have a mint gum in your mouth. When you try something that says it’s going to taste like strawberry and it tastes like some chemical garbage you’re going to beg for gum. The only lube that really tasted like what it said it would was from the company O’My. Their most interesting flavour was Blueberry Cheesecake lube. I don’t know why you would want blueberry cheesecake down there, but it definitely tasted good.
After having basically eaten lube for breakfast, the next step of this sex shop adventure was the latex fetishes. Sexe Cité is known for carrying the line Polymorphe, a Quebec latex company. The “Polymorphe section is very popular because there’s lots of fetishes in Montreal,” said the Sexe Cité sales rep. And it’s also only for the true latex lovers. One cat woman body suit costs $600 and male latex short shorts costs $160. If latex fetishes are your thing visit clubsin.ca. Club Sin is Montreal’s biggest fetish event.
As I was looking at the variety of dildos, I realized there was dolphins, rabbits and even old ladies’ faces on some of the dildos. “In China, it can’t look like a penis. It’s not allowed,” says Sexe Cité’s sales rep. Okay, so any dildo made in China has to have a head that looks nothing like a dick. Makes me wonder if the cucumber dildo was made in China.
Customer Service: 4 cucumbers
Knowledge of products: 5 cucumbers
Total: 9 cucumbers out of 10. Everyone should go to Sexe Cité. The staff know their products and will be able to give you their personal advice.
Most shocking item: Cucumber dildo, vibrating rubber duckie in bondage, old lady’s face on a dildo and chastity belt that costs $329.
La Capoterie, 2061 Saint-Denis, corner Sherbrooke St. Metro Berri-UQAM
The mood at this shop is very different compared to the other shops. It’s zen, relaxed and a little more on the romantic side. La Capoterie sells bath bombs, body creams, candles, and aphrodisiacs including Nexcite, a blue herbal drink from Sweden. But La Capoterie is also known for selling condoms and gag gifts.
Many different types of condoms are on display at this sex shop. Different condoms are fitted on penis models, so you can feel the texture and size up the size. They also sell Japanese condoms. “Japanese condoms are better because they are flexible and have better quality then other condoms,” said Mireille, La Capoterie saleswoman and resident artiste.
Different jars stuffed with flavoured condoms are next to the cash, like at a candy store where you take a paper bag and you put the condoms that tickle your fancy in the bag. They have many flavours including maple syrup, coke, banana, bubble gum, and lime. They’re also have a Life Savers condom holder package with Life Savers-flavoured condoms.
Customer Service: 5 cucumbers
Knowledge of products: 5 cucumbers
Total: 10 cucumbers! I loved the atmosphere at this store. Obviously, if you’re looking for a vibrator or a dildo, head to Sexe Cité for the larger selection. But La Capoterie is fun! It’s basically a giant candy store, but the candy is really candy-flavoured condoms. The gag gifts are funny and the saleswomen are very helpful.
Most shocking item: A giant wooden sculpture of a penis and 3D models of women’s pregnant bellies, made by Mireille.
Boutique Erotika, 11 Sainte-Catherine St. West, corner Saint-Laurent Blvd. Metro Saint-Laurent
This shop really focused on toys more than anything. They had little gag gifts, but walls of dildos and vibrators. What’s good about this store? The employees try the products and have group meetings to discuss them. “If a woman comes in asking me about a dildo I know what to tell her because we have two employees here that are women,” said Erotika’s sales rep.
Boutique Erotika doesn’t have any dildos on display for clients to see if they like the texture. However, if you ask, staff will remove the package from its package to let you cop a feel.
Even though when you walk in you’re surrounded by toys, it’s very easy to find something shocking. Blow up dolls and fake anal and vaginal toys aren’t shocking anymore. However, when the blow-up doll is pregnant, it’s pretty disturbing.
Customer Service: 1 limp cucumber. When I went to Erotika, I was with 4 other girls. The salesman was rude and basically tried to kick us out for no reason as soon as I finished asking him questions. I would not recommend this place just because of the salesman’s unprofessional behaviour.
Knowledge of products: 3 very limp cucumbers.
Total: 4 limp cucumbers. Four might seem high, but it doesn’t matter if it’s one or five because they’re still limp and that basically makes them useless.
Most shocking item: Pregnant blow-up doll.