Dearest action films,
No collection of words could possibly describe the love we feel towards you. There will always be that one flick we find ourselves quoting the very next day, reenacting every fight sequence when nobody is around. Why do we keep falling back into the big burly arms of action movies?
Action flicks help us escape from reality and allow us to take a break from our hectic lives in favour of some adrenaline-rushing entertainment that makes our jaw succumb to the laws of gravity.
Watching our favourite hero single-handedly destroy a sizable army of bad guys and then getting the girl at the end is why we love you. The fundamental idea of one man accomplishing everything he sets out to do is inspiring. After watching our hero kick some serious ass, you can’t help but want to kick some of your own in the real world. You give us regular Joes hope we never thought existed. We become endowed with the courage to go out and seek that job promotion or finally talk to that girl who had always seemed intimidating.
Sweet action films: with heroes like Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jackie Chan, Sylvester Stallone and most recently, Jason Statham, you present us with perfect role models. Thank you for instilling confidence within us, helping us achieve our marginal dreams, one sucker punch at a time.
Wrapped up in your toned, veiny and tattooed arms, you satisfy our eyes with explosions, beautiful women and heart-racing car chases that we can’t help but wish we were a part of.
You provide a rush that overtakes every fibre of our being — teaching us the true meaning of being on the edge of our seat. The entertainment value you offer is like the most addictive drug on the planet, the minute you get a taste, you can’t help but come back for more, hoping to achieve that very same high you experienced the very first time you watched the movie.
My darling action flick, you are one drug that will stay in circulation long after we are gone, trying to live our own action dreams in heaven.
Without you, my beloved action films, there would be no heroines to lust over. We would deliberately put ourselves in mortal danger if it meant that Lara Croft or Katniss Everdeen would come to our aid. All of these gorgeous and courageous women are like super glue to our eyes, the minute you step onto the screen, we cannot bear the thought of looking away. Watching you beat up bad guys brings the term sexy to a whole new level, which we promise to study and explore for many years to come.
The action genre is like air itself, without it, we couldn’t possibly go about living. Take inspiration and entertainment away from us, and why the hell would we get out of bed in the morning? We love you for everything you stand for and we promise to treasure and love you even if Armageddon suddenly becomes a harsh reality.
So come on life, give us everything you got: whenever we are down, as long as we have action movies we will always respond with, “I’ll be back!”