1. “Bump N’ Grind” – R. Kelly
You’re both ready to start making moves, but can’t seem to take that last step. Let R. Kelly make that giant leap with you, and release yourself from that cramped closet of unexpressed emotion.
2. “Let’s Get It On” – Marvin Gaye
It wouldn’t be a romantic song list without this winner of a tune. Though it is a bit blatant, it clears up any illusions that might have been surrounding the evening affair. Getting to the point is an admirable tactic in the game of romance, and this banger will most definitely let your honey know you’re ready to “get it on.”
3. “I’m In It” – Kanye West
Now that things have started to heat up for real, it’s time to put down the crooning for a second. You should welcome Yeezus’ “I’m In It” into the bedroom because Kanye is great and you just shouldn’t argue. This tune not only encourages paying attention to your partner through the powering down of personal electronics, but also gives some interesting sexual advice with great sound effects.
4. “The Way I Are” – Timbaland
Now that you’ve turned off your iPhone and turned up the tempo, it’s time to get a little kinky and go back to 2007. If you’ve ever memorized a strip-tease routine, this is when you would start performing it. This is also when you would don your leather catsuit and pull out your weird collection of toys you ordered off the internet. But, as the song goes, they should be ready to handle you the way you are by now, right? Right. Go get ‘em.
5. “Diced Pineapples” – Rick Ross
Now that you’re both pretty much ready for anything at this point, just throw caution to the wind and play some Rick Ross. This is where you would mouth along with the lyrics and look right into your lover’s eyes and tell them you’re not into intimate conversation but you really want to get deep like Jules Verne.
6. “Play” – David Banner
At this point, everyone should be naked. This is the kind of song that has the potential to turn things up to 11, so embrace it. You are David Banner. You are in a strip club. Work it ‘til you drip sweat. Except don’t take all of his advice and actually break your bed, because that would be uncomfortable for every other day of the year.
7. “Rooster In My Rari” – Waka Flocka Flame
You’ve reached the point at which you are beginning to wish you had actually gone to the gym for more than two days in January. You’re panting and wheezing and you just can’t seem to get comfortable anymore. All parties involved are coated in sweat (thanks, David Banner). Your roommates have turned their stereos all the way up and the neighbours are banging on the wall. This is a critical moment. Do you stop? NO! You listen to Waka Flocka.
8. “Saviour” – Yung Lean
Now that you’re both getting pretty tired from flocka-ing, it’s time to take a little breather with our friend, Yung Lean. This is the point in the evening where you are almost ready to pass out but are carrying on anyway. These few minutes are crucial in the maintenance of your sexual prowess — so take a little break to rejuvenate.
9. “Bubble Butt” – Major Lazer
They say the last lap of the race is the most important. This is where you break the record, push past all of your competitors and show the world you got a bubble butt. Let Tyga’s verse empower you and your booty to rocket through the finish line in all of its glory.
10- “Hallelujah” – Chorus by Handel
That is all.
