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Time heals but rebounds are quicker

by Candice Yee February 11, 2014
Time heals but rebounds are quicker

Graphic by Jenny Kwan

Rebound relationships or rebound sex are usually portrayed as non-committal flings, never spoken of again. For those struggling to leave behind their previous relationship, Julia, who wished to remain anonymous and psychologist Dale Robinson believe rebounding can provide physical and emotional benefits.

Rebounding requires a short time frame during a transition between partners. A rebound relationship quickly occurs after the end of another relationship, assumingly with more emotional investment than rebound sex. Defining the terms of rebounding is simple for Julia, a journalism undergraduate student from Paris.

After a breakup, “they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” said Julia. Last summer, she visited Montreal and fell in love. By the end of the summer, Julia returned to Paris. Distance forced the relationship to end. She began seeing someone else to escape the troubles of a broken heart. Rebounding was a process of “fall[ing] out of love, to fall back in love with somebody else,” she noted.

However, the level of interest and commitment in her new relationship wasn’t mutual. In fact, her casual attitude caused her to open up to her rebound. She was comfortable in sharing her feelings — an experience quite opposite from her previous relationship.

“Sometimes when you care a lot about someone, you don’t want to say what you think,” said Julia. “You’re scared.”

In terms of additional positives to rebounding, she explained that it was nice to be given attention and kindness. Robinson also understands the support rebounding provides.

Robinson has been a counselor since 1994, with a master’s in counseling psychology from McGill University. From her counseling experience with Concordia students, Robinson recognizes the emotional instabilities that arise after breakups. According to Robinson, rebounding helps a person “feel desirable, and to know there’s life after a relationship.”

“Sometimes breakups can feel like the end of the world,” said Robinson.

She said that relationships, in general, are the biggest reasons why people seek counseling. Although rebounds act as self-esteem boosters, she warns that the partner who is more emotionally invested will get hurt. Julie and Robinson believe it is important to establish whether the person is a rebound or a potential long-term partner.

“Know what you want before getting into it,” said Julia.

“People [should] go in with their eyes open,” Robinson added.

She also encouraged  individuals who are considering rebounding to be upfront. Openly discussing the nature of the relationship, and clarifying personal intentions are crucial, she said.

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