Comedic and feminist trailblazers Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson solidify their stance against sexual norms in a recent episode of their show Broad City. When Abbi finally gets the chance to hook up with her archetypal rugged male neighbour Jeremy, she suggests that they “switch” positions. An excited Jeremy presses an expensive “Shinjo” dildo into her hand and tells her where he wants in—right in the butt.
After some not-so-gentle chiding from the uninhibited Ilana, Abbi decides (wisely) to carpe-dat ass and ride the hunky quarter-Latino all the way home. Women everywhere were riveted. I myself swallowed hard on a sip of wine, and felt the first rustlings of new sexual curiosity. It was so taboo, so seemingly empowering that it was hard to bypass the thought of bringing “pegging” into my own sexual repertoire.
Only problem is—and I don’t apologize for the pun—most men out there are being tight-assed about the idea.
The basis of the practice is the penetration of a man by a woman, normally using a sex toy or strap-on. Sexual pleasure is derived from the stimulation of the prostate, which can lead to ejaculation and orgasm. Some men enjoy manually stimulating themselves as they are being pegged. Sex columnist Dan Savage said that it’s an activity that “all men should try at least once.”
A former flame of mine accused me of being “all talk” after not submitting to his suggestions of anal play. When I had previously suggested to him the possibility of pegging, this guy (with considerable penile girth and a voracious sexual appetite) brought the proverbial guillotine down on the idea. Apparently, fingers are a permissible “not-so-gay” form of male ass play, but full-on fucking a guy with a dildo is out of the question.
Men should—need—to acknowledge that we live in a sexually egalitarian society. As the pithy Ilana put it in an earlier episode of the show: it’s 2015, and “anal is on the menu.” What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. If you want to lube up and explore the intimate inner workings of my ass, at least consider letting me bend you over and return the favor.
In all honesty, where does this fear or hesitation stem from? Is it purely physical, with men afraid they’ll be shitting sideways for weeks or walking bow-legged into work? Or is it a more deeply rooted psycho-social barrier that keeps men at a six inch latex-coated distance? The innate fear of being dominated or of compromising the concept of “masculinity” could be reason enough. However, any kind of anal play calls trust (and adequate lubrication) to the fore. If anything, pegging is an activity that could strengthen the bond between partners, introducing a sense of empathy and understanding. I mean, my ass is not the location to act out a live rendition of a heavy metal guitar riff. If I don’t want to be anally drilled, do you?
