Preservation efforts to be implemented on Concordia’s campuses
The president of Concordia’s Fine Arts Preservation Society (FAPS), Phil A. Shio, has issued a statement calling for the university to protect and preserve “sacred” works of bathroom graffiti.
Shio claims that bathroom scrawl of all types is a necessary form of artistic and cultural expression.
“Reading bathroom graffiti is an enlightening and revealing experience,” Shio writes, “and with proper care and preservation, I hope that my colleagues of the future can examine and analyze works of stall-side art in the same way that our forefathers studied the cave paintings of prehistoric man.”
Shio believes that bathroom graffiti is indicative of our generation’s perspective on the world—from documenting dating trysts or anatomically incorrect drawings of penises, to bigger things, like the potential future dissolution of the 514 area code.
“If people don’t see pieces like ‘call this number for a good time,’ how would they ever acknowledge the strides we’re eventually going to make in telecommunications?”
Shio demands that the university enforce higher security measures in its bathrooms, including security guards and camera monitoring. He is also organizing a gluten-free bake sale to cover the cost of the installation of glass plates over existing pieces.
Shio’s motivation is unshakeable: “It is my intent, no—it is my mandate as president of FAPS to ensure that a student’s experience in the bathroom is as culturally enriching as a trip to a museum.”
Concordia president Alan Shepard has not responded to FAPS’ proposed plan, though his administrative assistants claim that he was a little flushed when the idea was brought to his attention.