In writing: The meaning of love and loss

Concordia student explores the notion of loving and losing in this creative piece

Why are we only given one life to live; only one chance to do something big, to leave a mark on all of humanity? The thought that one slight mistake or accident could end it all haunts us, and for some, it even consumes their lives with fear. My love was not scared of death, but she was afraid of not leaving her mark on the world. She was one of those people.

She once told me that her goal in life was to sail around the world and live at sea until the day she died. She believed that was how she would be remembered. I knew sailing was a hobby that we shared, but I never truly realized how much it had meant to her. I loved sailing, because I had loved her. Everything I did, from waking up at 6 a.m. on the weekends to get an early start on the boat to reading those sailing books she would loan to me was all for her, not for me.

Whenever I gaze upon the sea, I do not think about the competitions that I won, nor  the maneuvers that I mastered, but instead I think of  the reflection of her smiling face as she partook in her one true love. When I look back at our relationship, I realize that although it was rather one-sided, I was proud that she was happy and that I got to share the beauty of life with her.

When she died that fateful day, my heart sank. She died in the place she felt the most safe: the sea. I try to understand to this day how something so pure like water could take so many people away. A slight accident was all that was needed to take her away from me, but I knew deep down that it was the only way she would accept death. My love didn’t have to be scared or worried anymore, she was already gone. It was now I who was given this punishment. I was scared, scared of being alone. Scared of letting her go and scared of death. She was free from the pain and the suffering and her fear of not making a mark on the world proved to be meaningless, as she made the biggest mark of all. Although she wasn’t known as the girl who sailed around the world and lived at sea, she made her mark on my heart. It’s a permanent scar that will stay with me forever and remind me every day that the time we had together in this lifetime, although short, had meaning. Her memory will pass through me, through my children, through my grandchildren. Never will her memory fade, just as the scar on my heart will never go away. Her memory will continue to flow just as the waves of the sea have and always will.

As I look upon the sea now, I see her face in the distance and I immediately feel like I’m not alone and that even one true love can be significant in life.

Why are we given one life to live? The answer is clear now. We live to love and we love to live. They go hand in hand and complement each other through the good and the bad. Life is short, but love lasts forever and that is why we exist: to experience the passion that we all desire.

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