Leave them alone. Stop thinking about them, stop checking up on them, stop wishing you could go back and do things differently – let it go.
It can sometimes feel like there are two of you sharing the same body. The first is the rational part of you that has left someone in the past. That part of you that got attached to someone you thought was great, that you had so much in common with, that you were falling for. The part of you that got hurt by careless words and actions, your heart stripped of its integrity and your peace of mind shattered. That’s the part of you that, because you suffered through a painful time, knows that now you’re better off without the person that hurt you.
Then there’s the second part of you: the part that’s irrational and does things without thinking. Despite knowing all the pain a person put you through; despite all the suffering you dealt with on your own because of them; despite them being no good for you and you being much better off now than ever, this is the part of you that’s stuck on the attachment you used to have to them.
The thing with having these two parts is that, while the first part is what you lead your life with now, the second one creeps in sometimes – and usually when you least expect it. While you’re out in public or alone in your private spaces, you may be living your life rationally, maybe eating soup or reading a book, and then something might trigger your irrational part to peek through. Next thing you know, you’re searching up that toxic person on Instagram or thinking about every moment you had with them, wishing things had turned out differently.
Here is a call-out to your irrational part: stop it. You know you’re doing more harm than good. You know you’re wasting your time. You know this is the worst possible thing you could be doing for your sanity and for your personal growth. No, you don’t miss them; you’re just trying to replicate the feeling you had back when you were with them – talking to them, thinking about them all the time.
Remember that you have the rational part of you, the part that knows what’s best, and that thinking about the toxic past isn’t what’s good for you. So be rational and stop letting toxicity from the past hinder your life now.
Let it go.