You know the meme of a dog in a room on fire, where the speech bubble says: “This is fine”? Yeah, that’s me, I’m the dog. Also a plausible comparison is me as Ross in Friends after having too many margaritas: “I’M FINE!”
Why am I “fine,” you ask? Hi, my name is Kayla-Marie Turriciano, and I take on too many projects at once (as seen in my Twitter bio), and am definitely not in over my head.
In my first year at Concordia, I wrote about how it’s important to maintain a balance between work, school, and a social life, and how you can’t do better than your best. In my second year, I called myself out for being a hypocrite because I had completely gone against my own advice and had a terrible work-school-life balance. I was literally in a perpetual state of stress and anxiety and admitted that it was easier said than done.
Now in my third year, I have something else to add to this stream of articles about balance in life. This past year has honestly been one of the most emotionally draining. From last summer to present, I’ve barely had time off: I went from the fall semester, to winter, to a summer semester intensive, then an internship and a job, to now back in school full time while holding down three jobs. On top of that, I regularly contribute to sections within the paper other than my own.
A lot of people in my life – family, friends, peers, coworkers, basically everyone – worry that I’m going to soon suffer a burnout. They say I’m overworked, over-stressed, and am generally doing too much. Our lovely opinions editor, Youmna, regularly keeps me in check to make sure I don’t have a breakdown by spreading myself too thin. I constantly reassure her I’m doing fine – and here I am writing this article when I have two others this week on top of all my other work and assignments.
See, the thing is I actually am fine. I’ve definitely not been fine in the past, suffering mini breakdowns from being overworked and overtired, resulting in me crying at the kitchen table after someone slightly raises their voice at me.
But truly, this time, I am fine. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve mastered all this multitasking, if I’ve become numb to everything or if I’ve just peaked and reached nirvana. Maybe all the theoretical political science courses discussing Lucretius and Seneca have taken a toll on me.
Whatever it is, I just know that, while I am taking on too many projects at once, I’m actually not stressed, nor do I feel like I’m going to be crushed under the weight of everything.
I truly, finally, actually am fine and I’m not in a theoretical room that’s on fire – I’m just living my life, totally fine.
Graphic: Salomé Blain.