Not the right timing. Not the right feelings. Not part of the plan. Not what I had in mind. Not what I’m looking for. Not in that way. Not in a million years. Maybe in four months. Maybe if things were different.
Whether it’s that cute girl you work with that you have undeniable chemistry with, that handsome guy in your class with the dreamiest eyes, that friend you started developing feelings for after spending so much time together, circumstances can make or break any situation.
Everything can go according to plan, you can be ready to shoot your shot, you can be certain of your feelings after spending weeks trying to convince yourself otherwise. You can have an inkling that they might like you too, that everything might work out for once, so you can stop shooting your shot to no avail for the same reason every time. Maybe this time, things will go right and you don’t have to hear “I like you too but I’m seeing someone else/I don’t want to ruin what we have/I don’t see you in that way.” Or maybe it’s the right person at the wrong time: they’re newly dating, you’re moving away, they’re in a long term relationship.
As I was struggling to come up with an idea for this week, the circumstances changed—literally. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word “circumstances” more in my life than this past week. Maybe it was a reminder that, no matter how much you plan for things to happen—or for nothing to happen at all—the universe (or God or whatever you believe in) has a funny way of showing you who’s boss.
One of my favourite relationship analogies relates to lines: people can be like parallel lines, spending their whole lives living alongside each other but never intersecting. They can also be like perpendicular lines, that cross paths once and never again. Both of these situations are a blessing and a curse; they depend on the circumstances of each line and how they’re meant to act in relation to another.
You may want to be a perpendicular line with someone but the circumstances are not right so you’re stuck being parallel lines forever. Sometimes, that’s more of a blessing than a curse because they likely weren’t meant to be in your life the way you’d hoped. While it’s okay to be sad or upset about things not working out according to plan, circumstances can change and your parallel line with one person can turn into a perpendicular line with someone else.
Graphic by Loreanna Lastoria