Cult video game Doom leapt from the computer screen to the big screen last weekend, losing its edge and everything that was good about it.

A team of soldiers is sent to a remote scientific facility on Mars to investigate the aftermath of a biological experiment. All communications have been lost, and the last signal received is nothing short of alarming. Everything seems to indicate that something has gone wrong… horribly wrong.

Armed to the teeth, the Rapid Response Tactical Squad (RRTS) are sent in with a very simple order: Nothing gets out alive.

For the next 100 dreadful minutes, random members get butchered by nightmarish creatures lurking in the shadows of what could very well be a rip-off of Ridley Scott’s original spaceship.

The last video game that graced our screens was last year’s Alone in the Dark. Although many will argue that Doom is better than last year’s stinker, but that’s not much of a compliment.

While some argued that Alone in the Dark’s failure was attributable to the casting of Tara Reid as one of the leads, Universal Pictures found Reid’s match in former wrestler-turned actor-Dwayne Johnson. Best known as “The Rock”, his alias, Johnson is still trying to shed his wrestler image and slip into our collective minds as an accomplished actor. Until now, the very mention of his name on a movie poster should have been enough to send any movie-goer back home. Now, the very mention of his name should be enough to send a potential viewer into a hysterical frenzy.

Saying that Doom is bad would be somewhat of an understatement. In fact, this movie combines everything that is wrong with today’s movie industry.

Not only are the actors void of any hint of talent, sounding a slight notch livelier than your average answering machine, the plot is as weak as Paris Hilton’s chances of ever being taken seriously.

On the bright side, as faint as it may be, Doom delivers some state-of-the-art special effects, making good use of the latest technological advancements. However, this endeavour goes down the drain, as most action sequences are shot in pitch-black locations.

Faithful to its gaming predecessor, Doom features a first-person shooter-perspective sequence. However laudable this attempt was, the sequence somewhat resembles a psychedelic ride, kicking the viewer into motion-sickness mode, so much that even I thought the screening would be punctuated with a guest appearance by my lunch.

Doom is a pathetic attempt at scaring audiences on the dawn of Halloween. It throws all chances of success out the window with its chaotic chases in dark corridors and evil creatures lurking in the shadows. Nothing you haven’t seen before, and nothing you ever want to see again.

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