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Annoying people: They are everywhere!

by Archives November 22, 2006

We all want to make the world a better place, right? For some, peace is the solution: I agree. We should all to get along. The only problem is, some make it impossible for us to get along with them. They are Annoying People.

I know, I know. You’re thinking: ‘it’s not their fault, sometimes Annoying People don’t realize they’re annoying.’ That’s precisely why I came up with the list below- to help you recognize if you’re of the Annoying People. Yes, I do like to play my part in making the world a better place, every little bit counts.

You’re annoying if you fall into one of these categories:

The Proud Mother

Correct me if I’m wrong but if I were interested in seeing a picture of your five-year-old dressed up like a bee or a ladybug I would ask you. And even if I did ask, chances are I’m just trying to be nice. Don’t get me wrong, I like children, on the other hand I also like bugs but I never feel the urge to pick them up and play with them.

The Overpowering Cologne Wearer

Yes, I am referring to those of you who attempt to charm by basting the opposite sex’s nostrils in a pungent multi-fragrance mixture. Trust me, it is not normal if when you leave an area the smell of your cologne lingers on for another two days. A sure sign that you’re in trouble: You leave for the weekend and your dog doesn’t even notice you’re gone!

The Public Speaker

You will find public speakers most everywhere. You will recognize them by their loud voice and exaggerated mannerisms. They are usually talking to someone or to a group of people, sometimes even on a cell phone. The thing about public speakers is that they seem more concerned about impressing everyone else in the room except the person they are addressing. If you think that your story is that interesting, write a letter to Oprah.

The Loud Cougher

If you’re sick, stay home! If not, go suck on a lozenge or something.

The Close Talker

I’m not talking about the person who talks to you up close; I’m talking about the one who talks to you really up close, so close that they’ve got their mouth practically pressed on your ear. Treating your interlocutor like a phone receiver in my opinion is plainly obnoxious.

The Dog Dresser

All I can say to this is please hurry, go out, meet someone and HAVE CHILDREN.

The Lonely Dancer

Who the hell goes out dancing alone? And if you decide to do so, assume responsibility for your actions. You think we didn’t notice you smiling while inching closer and closer to us? Well, you’re wrong. Actually, we DID notice and that is why we moved further and further away with such a morbid expression.

The Talented Karaoke Singer

If you can sing, you don’t belong on a karaoke stage. Karaoke was designed for those of us who can’t sing. It is not a talent show. How are we to be entertained if we can’t make fun of your mangled melodies and poor falsettos? If you want to be a star, it’s not with your best version of Bon Jovi’s “Bad Medicine” that you will be discovered.

The Sidewalk Biker

Sidewalks are for walkers, it says it in the name. I myself have never heard of a sidebike. Let’s revise our definitions a little: Sidewalk: A paved walkway along the side of the street. Walkway: A passage or path for walking. I don’t see any bikes involved in this, do you?

The Backseat Driver

If you don’t have a steering wheel in front of you or a peddle break at your feet, you are not the driver of this car. I do not need you to tell me to go when the light is green or to stop when it’s red. Last time I checked, I didn’t see Michael Schumacher’s name on your licence! I know you’re my friend but you’re starting to sound like Rainman.

Parisians

For obvious reasons!

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