Ever since I started writing this column, I’ve been called a lot of things. Some were nice and flattering, others straight up harsh. The one that bothered me the most I must say was being called a “wigger”. It really made me wanna pull the Steven Seagal neck-snap on people.
It sort of implies that any white kid that has appreciation for hip-hop, no matter how genuine, is a wigger. Like the fact that I’ve been listening to hip-hop since I was eight years old doesn’t mean anything.
Or that I’ve spent five years in the Bronx as a teen (granted in the nicer Jewish part) doesn’t give me any perspective.
Or even that I usually know more about hip-hop’s history, development and different genres than almost anybody I meet. I guess to the people that label me a wigger I should just get rid of my soul, funk, blues and hip-hop records and just immerse myself in emo. Imagine…
The wigger thing bothered me so much I looked up the word in the encyclopedia. Here’s what I found:
Wigger (wigh*- urh*): Immature young white male mostly found in a urban and suburban environment.
Generally dressed in generic outdated urban fashions such as flashy Bape hoodies or oversized tasteless jeans.
Can often be heard self-hyping himself with phrases such as “yo, don’t hate the playa hate the game” or even “hey ma, wanna ride wit your boy.”
The wigger’s favorite habitat is usually nightclubs full of meatheads where he loves to display how he knows the words to awful commercial hits, then proceeds to puke on a bouncer and get kicked out.
The wigger is far from extinct.
When I spoke to K-OS a few weeks ago, he was saying that musical genres invented by blacks lose their appeal once they get manipulated by others. I know wiggers aren’t helping out but that being said, folks from all races can be just as bad. In other words, clowns are multi-colored.
Anyway, for a wigger-free weekend you should start by hitting up DL’s B-Daze at the SAT on March 30 starring Montreal’s own professional fire-starters A-Rock and Hatchmatik as well as N.Y.C.’s bounce-fueled Pace Rock and the exquisite Amanda Blank from Philly. MC Spank Rock is also on the bill so maintain…
Plateau Saturdays at Blizzarts ($5 cover) is also a good fix for beats but the place is small so don’t roll like 10 dudes deep.
There’s a new dope night at Lola Lounge on Tuesdays with DJ 10Henshforth playing crunk/punk mash-ups as well as B.more remixes and J-Money lacing up Breaks and Drum&Bass.
The night also features live art by up-and-coming artist who paint right on the spot at the bar. Worth checking out.
If you already copped tickets for Evidence, go get your money back because the show is cancelled. Apparently, getting into Canada with a criminal record has become harder than swallowing three saltine crackers in less than 15 seconds (trust me, impossible).
Go get tickets for the Nas show on April 16. I don’t care if you have an exam, there is no good reason to miss Nas if his performance is gonna be half as good as last time he was in Montreal.
Maybe I’ll see you there…
Your Flyest Corny White Dude.
Classics:
Outkast: “Ain’t No Thang”
Nice and Smooth: “Sometimes I Rhyme Slow”
Ghostface Killah: “Flowers”
Newbies:
Timbaland feat Dr. Dre and Missy: “Bounce”
Nas feat. Kardinal Offishall: “Power Hustlers”
KRS-one and Marley Marl: “Hip Hop Lives”
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