Two girls + one car + road trip = DISASTER

It’s not that enough people didn’t inform me that I was completely crazy to undertake a road trip across the continent in a car without air conditioning.
I knew, but at least now I can prove to everyone that it’s possible. Disastrous, but possible.
O.K., I admit, people were right, to some extent. I found out the hard way that a road trip isn’t as glamorous as it sounds.
Misrepresentation my friend, I should have seen it coming. In movies, like Roadtrip, Thelma and Louise and Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion, road trips are made out to be this quintessential milestone is every youngster’s life. A sort of life-altering rite of passage.?
However, the reality is slightly different from that. I’m not one of those high maintenance girls that won’t move to preserve a manicure.
I know how to change a tire and follow a map. So what’s the problem? Well, for one, I didn’t expect to be the main driver for the trip.
My best friend Dom has been driving longer than I have and seeing as she was in the car with me, I expected her to do at least half of the driving. Boy, was I wrong.
Though Dom’s a good driver, she’s just not.very.concentrated on the road.
While flipping her hair from one side to the other and checking out an ingrown hair under her armpit, she nearly crashed into a tree in Richmond, Virginia. Needless to say, she didn’t touch the wheel after that.
“This trip is going to make or break your friendship,” someone told me.
Not brushing your teeth for 24 hours alone could have completed the breaking part of it.
For all you future roadtripers out there: do not attempt.
No air conditioning. Was I crazy? We were still at the Lacolle border, and I was wondering if I had already sweat out all the fluids in my body.
Imagine what I looked like by the time we reached South Carolina. Something like a dehydrated prune.?
Sleeping was also a big challenge. We slept in the car for three hours in a rest area in Maryland, where we united with all the other not-so-happy campers. Then I drove for six hours straight.
My road trip was really one surprise after another.? The New Jersey Turnpike was one of those surprises.
This massive, 10-lane highway is similar to a giant? maze. A good old Mobius strip.
There aren’t many exits.
If you miss yours, you’re in for a crazy ride which will leave you short of almost $10, thanks to the wonderful tollbooths.?
Then, the Perth Amboy (A.K.A. The City from Hell.)
While lost in the mayhem of the turnpike, you are bound to be drawn to this city for all the roads lead to it. Literally!
Being stuck for two hours in traffic in Virginia at 6 a.m. on a Saturday morning is also another of the great surprises of the almighty road trip.
Do Americans ever sleep?
Is the I-95 such a hub for activity that it is jammed on a weekend? In the morning?
And to top it all off, when we were in New Jersey, my muffler broke.
Yep, I had a pipe.
Since my windows were open due to the lack of air conditioning, you can imagine how pleasant that was.
Let’s just say that to cover up all the noise, our music had to be pretty loud.
This is why I am now partially deaf.
I don’t know if it is because of the beach or the sun but the comeback trip was much better.
We did the trip in two days for a total of 22 hours on the road, which I have been told, is pretty impressive.
In the end, I got to prove the non-believers wrong, sort of.
I still have my best friend and an added sense of humour to boot.
One thing I learned from my summer vacation is that not everything is what it’s cracked up to be.
Let my experience teach you future roadtrippers a lesson.
Plan ahead. Do not attempt a drive in a car without air conditioning.
Never ever let someone who nearly crashes into trees get behind the wheel.
And most importantly, bring plenty of gum! Morning breath doesn’t suit anyone, especially not in traffic at 6 a.m.


Related Posts

Read more
This past academic year at The Concordian has been one for the books. Between onboarding a mostly-new staff…