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Respected artist reveals art no longer matters

by Archives April 1, 2008

A long-term artist dropped the art community’s jaws to the floor with one swift statement, “Art no longer matters,” said Holden Forgault. “It never really mattered.”
Forgault was famous for his paintings and sculptures, which were usually generous indulgences of everyday items. Among his best-known works are his canvas “One size fits all” and his sculpture of adolescent idealism called “Candy bar.”
“My life is a lie,” he said, deadpan to the audience at the Oblesque gallery, which was made up of many of his patrons and admirers. “And so are yours for believing in mine.”
Not sure what to do, many just stood silently mouths gaped in awe. Many were waiting for an explanation.
“I was hoping he’d do something to cover up for this artsy faux-pas,” said Ela Brixton, at one time a Forgault-enthusiast. “I’m an artist and if I know one thing about art, it is that you should always choose your lighting carefully, hiding what shouldn’t be seen and focusing on what should.”
“He showed us his true colors,” said a short man who insisted on remaining anonymous, “and they were ugly.”
Forgault made no exit, but stood there as if challenging the audience to release their scorn. Finally he broke the silence.
“Art is about press releases, the medium is the message. Art is about fooling others into believing. Why? Well I can’t believe what I don’t know. I don’t know shit, that’s why I paint, it’s my ongoing struggle to understand.”
He added, “One thing I know is how to throw a press conference,” waving at the plethora of party favors at the gallery, which included smoked salmon canopies and sun-dried tomato pesto bites.
Kent Wedsand, a journalist, admitted, “The guy has the best food at his press conferences, and hey, if you wanna get a good write-up, then I want more than some crust-less tuna sandwiches. Artists take note.”
“He knows what it takes: snacks, and lots of em,” said Les Wynn, whose favorite snack was the peanut butter satay skewers.
“I just felt like people needed to wake up and realize the sham, the hype and the chard which art has become, it has become psychopathic and consumer-based, a cold charlatan that flatters it’s audience with bedizened scapegoats for there shortcomings as intellects.”
When asked what that means, Forgault shouted at the busboy, “you stole the show once again mon frere.”

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