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by Archives April 1, 2008

“All-Star” gambling ring exposed

All-time Major League Baseball hits leader Pete Rose and disgraced NBA referee Tim Donaghy have been linked to a gambling support group called Gamblers Non-Anonymous (GNA).
The group is designed to give disgraced professional athletes, referees and coaches a chance to get re-integrated into normal society. Recently, The Concordian has learned that Rose, Donaghy and other GNA-members have continued placing bets.
It has been established through a Nike-wearing source who wishes only to be known as ‘M.J.’ that these infamous celebrities continue to gamble on events ranging from March Madness to American Idol.
More details on the support group’s activities were released when New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick revealed he had been paid to tape the sessions.
“[Belichick’s] team cost these guys a ton of money,” said M.J., referring to the Super Bowl. “Nobody picked the Giants, so these guys got Belichick to film the gambling sessions as payback.”
Caught on videotape were the group’s brackets. There was some suspicion about the bracket filled out by Donaghy. Up to the Final Four, Donaghy’s bracket was perfect – even picking Cinderella team Davidson to advance to where they did.
Donaghy, a former NBA official who was involved in point shaving scandals, has raised suspicion with his bracket due to his links with officials in the NCAA.
Neither side was available for comment.
Rose also raised some eyebrows. He picked Cincinnati to win the entire tournament. The worrisome aspect of the bracket is, of course, that Cincinnati did not qualify for the tournament.
“Pete has always said that he never bet against Cincinnati, so he continues to live by that statement,” the source said.
Rose would be a baseball Hall of Famer if he hadn’t gotten caught betting on his own team as the manager of the Cincinnati Reds. The commissioner of Major League Baseball subsequently banned him from baseball.
Our source told us he picked North Carolina to win the NCAA tournament. He also has David Cook in the group’s American Idol pool.
“[Cook] has skills,” he said.

‘Madness’: Vegas rakes in record haul off of testosterone betting

When Kansas defeated Davidson in the final regional final Sunday night, it marked the first time since the tournament expanded to 64 teams in 1985 that all four No. 1 teams made it into the Final Four.
This had major ramifications on gambling across both office pools and casinos.
“I was the only person to get all four teams correct,” said Irene Johnson, a 60-year-old Walmart greeter, who currently leads her franchise’s office pool. “I just picked all four favourites, and this year it worked out,” she said.
Similar trends were reported across North America, with casinos saying they have had their best year in a while with all four favourites making the Final Four.
“What you have with these office pools is that the male wants to show off,” said Dr. Norman Schwartz, a psychology professor at the University of California at Berkeley.
“Rarely do you see them pick the favourite all the way because there is no risk involved. Their manhood is questioned,” he continued.
Time will tell if Johnson will end up winning her office pool. She has North Carolina over UCLA in the championship game.
“I like baby blue more than gold,” she said.

NHL ‘needed publicity’: Bettman

While the leaders of every major professional sport league in North America were forced to testify before Congress about the use of performance enhancement substances in their leagues, one invited himself to the congressional hearing.
NHL commissioner Gary Bettman flew himself down to Washington, D.C, and showed up unannounced to talk about drug testing in the NHL. He faced no questions from Congress and only read a statement.
“If the NHL wants to be recognized we have to have some talk about steroids, too,” Bettman said. “Basically, I felt that we needed the publicity in the United States. I mean, we’re only on NBC once a week and the rest of the time it’s Versus. Who the hell even watches Versus?” he asked.
Bettman’s impromptu appearance shook up some Congressmen. “I thought it was a joke. We almost called security to get the shrimp out of there,” said one anonymous member from the Southern United States. “Why would we care about hockey?”

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