Heaven hath no megastores

What would Jesus buy?
A XBOX 360, a Nintendo Wii, or a plasma screen TV? None of the above. After all, he is Jesus: the Material Girl’s antithesis and the metaphysical embodiment of love.
During the holidays, most people spend time with family and friends, donate something to the needy, watch Christmas TV specials, or roast chestnuts on an open fire.
But the behemoth that is American retail has so twisted the holiday shopping season that instead people max their plastic, knock over pregnant ladies to get their mitts on a Wii for their nephew, or spend quality time in the mall parking lot looking for spaces, all so they can have a happy holiday.
Directed by Rob Van Alkemade, and produced by Super Size Me’s Morgan Spurlock, the film follows a style of documentary popularized by Michael Moore (Sicko). The key to this kind of mockumentary is to hook the audience with comedy, while goring mass culture’s sacred cows:
Screening at Cinema Politica next Monday, WWJB follows activist Reverend Billy and his Church of Stop Shopping along their crusade to cast the demons out of this year’s Christmas season.
With a message of thrift, local shopping and free Christmas love, the reverend and his gospel choir pack their bags and head out across America, spreading the gospel of saving. The itinerary includes revered shopping destinations such as Times Square, the Mall of America, and – where else? – Wal-Mart.
Reverend Billy looks like he came straight out of Las Vegas. Though not technically ordained, his priest’s collar, white tux and shock of wild, bleached-blonde hair are equal parts Pat Robertson and Rod Stewart. With a penchant for exorcising cash registers and credit cards, the good reverend brings an element of playfulness to his warning of an imminent Shopocalypse.
He’s also a bit of a daredevil and exhibitionist. At one point, the reverend walks into the giant toy store in Times Square and begins preaching a simple but scathing invective: Mickey Mouse is the anti-Christ, so stop shopping. Police and security escort him out of the store and into a police vehicle.
After a while, the film’s structure becomes repetitive catch-and-release: Billy and his friends go to a new shopping area, perform, and are hustled off by security and police forces. Even so, it’s still entertaining to see this kind of over-the-top activism.
As the opening montage points out, people are more likely to worship at the hallowed temples of retail than actual religious institutions today. The reverend and his choir’s search for retail redemption makes for the perfectly subversive holiday movie.

What Would Jesus Buy? screens at Cinema Politica on Monday, Dec. 1 at 7:30 p.m. in the Hall building, room H-110.

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