The Unborn: All Filler No Thriller
Michael Connors
Sometimes when leaving the movie theatre, the only way to describe your disappointment is with a guttural groan. What you probably meant to say was, “I want my money back.” The scary thing about The Unborn is: you’ll never get that money back.
David S. Goyer co-wrote Dark Knight and directed Blade:Trinity, so he’s a bit hot and not. His new “thriller” (The Unborn) has about as many tricks as a boardwalk amusement park. He wrote and directed this throw-together, and in doing so perhaps trudged forth almost all alone to deliver a film with a few thoughtful lines and fewer terrifying moments. In fact, it’s so unoriginal, it’s as if he played Spin the wheel for horror ideas and lost.
Odette Yustman’s butt is cast as the leading role and she’s in the film too sometimes. When she is, she’s not half bad as Carey a.k.a. the haunted girl. The story revolves around her dead brother, whose soul has been possessed by a dybbuk, or a disembodied soul.
According to Jewish folklore, dybbuks are too tainted to gain access to heaven. “They are burdened to wander the borderlands between life and death, in search of a host in which to be born again,” says Sofi (Jane Alexander), Carey’s grandmother, who knows all too well about dybbuks.
You see, it all started in Auschwitz, where Sofi and her twin brother were detained. The Nazis were especially interested in twins – for tinkering with – and they put her brother through some pretty occult experiments. When they tried to turn his brown eyes blue, he stopped being himself and was possessed by a dybbuk – the same one that is now after Carey.
Carey seeks help from Rabbi Sendak (Gary Oldman) to perform an exorcism. Oldman plays the role as if he’s always trying to keep a certain distance from the film – and who can blame him, really? Carey has a spiritual friend named Romy (Meagan Good) who plays the typical, tag along fodder role this type of film preys on.
Basically, the whole film is about Carey dealing with this dybbuk, which possesses little kids and her friends, all while haunting her through the image of Sofi’s dead twin brother.
Being possessed by a dybbuk apparently makes you walk on all fours with your head turned upside down. This gets old quick. Plus, the film’s propensity to show too much too often (horror-wise) gives you way too much time to question, ergo, make fun of the convoluted plot.
This is not a film for true thriller or horror fans. It’s just another glossy movie looking to make a bit of cash during the January slump in mainstream releases. You can go see it if you’re bored, but don’t expect any surprises – maybe just a couple of laughs.
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Bride Wars: The Phantom Menace
Kimberly Lamontagne
Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. Only instead of the Galactic Republic the film finds itself in present day Manhattan.
Bride Wars is a romantic comedy, let’s get that squared right away. It’s not a contemplative film filled with angst, so don’t expect it to be something it’s not. And in spite of a chain of negative reviews, I must say, I rather enjoyed the film.
Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway are terrific, and the film’s concept is genuinely entertaining.
The irrepressible need for Liv (Hudson) and Emma (Hathaway) to have their ideal weddings at New York’s prestigious Plaza hotel sets these life long, best buds on a mean streak when they schedule for the same day.
The two will stop at nothing to sabotage each other’s wedding. Both refuse to change dates and won
