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I like boys. Get over it.

by Archives February 3, 2009

I won’t mince words. I’m gay and tired of tippy-toeing around people. Actually, I’m exhausted. I reached my breaking point last Friday.
But first, let’s start with a little background. I’m a 21-year-old Concordia student. I’m Lebanese. There you have it. About a month ago, I confided in my cousin that I’m gay. I also told him who I think is gay in our family. I thought I could trust him. He ended up outing me to my entire homophobic family. Thankfully, my parents were in Lebanon. I was anticipating a tsunami . . . still am. Two days after I told my cousin, one of my aunts called. She told me to stop calling her son gay. Thankfully, I haven’t seen my cousins since. I was furious. I decided to go to Health Services here at Concordia. Luckily for me, I qualified for counselling. I couldn’t sleep, I was scared for my life. The main message I got from the counsellor was to “endure,” meaning to shut my mouth and pussyfoot around people. I tried it. But I can’t do it anymore. I feel like an imposter.
Fortunately, word hasn’t gotten to my dad. My mom and brothers know. My mom is praying and fasting for a miracle.
Back to the breaking point. Picture it . . . location: Les 3 Brasseurs on Ste Catherine Street. A class outing. I was there with my friend. We arrived fashionably late. We sat down, ordered drinks. Two guys arrived 10 minutes later. Casual talk. Without warning, the guy sitting next to me uttered, “Can I ask you a hard question?” I knew right away. He started jumbling his words, saying how he’s in a feminist frameworks class and studying about inter-sexed babies. Out of nowhere, he asked, “So was it hard for you to come out?” I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I paused, took a deep breath, looked at my friend who was sitting in front of me. She mouthed “it’s okay.” I told the jerk I was in the process of coming out. The rest of the evening was awkward.
I don’t understand. What gives a complete and utter stranger the right to ask such a personal question? Hasn’t anybody learned from the Barbara Walters’ special 30 mistakes in 30 years? Unless someone is openly gay, it’s none of your business.
This isn’t the first time it’s happened to me either. However, this is the last time I shut my mouth. I’m tired of being harassed. I don’t go around asking people if they masturbate to the thought of someone of the opposite sex. Plus, if I think someone is gay, I keep my mouth shut – out of respect. That’s unless I’m having a private conversation with someone I trust, of course. We all talk and gossip.
To conclude, if you ever ask someone if they’re gay, you better pray it’s not me.

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