Some meet their drug dealers in back alleys or deserted parking lots, others walk into the nearest Starbucks. To fill our fix, baristas in the United States are now brewing their finest iced drinks in a 916 ml, 31-ounce size called the Trenta. What has compelled this company to keep upsizing their drinks?
The fact that many of us students have been willing to splurge $5 on a latte from our piggy bank salaries is a definite impetus. Consumerism is almost as addictive as the caffeine itself. Emptying our pockets to fill our caffeine-devoid bodies has become such an innate part of North American culture that we use it to solidify our identities.
“Coffee culture” refers to the extreme lengths to which we will resort to buy coffee and use it as a social lubricant. Though McDonald’s is following suit by selling tea at 32-ounce sizes, I’m positive many of you will remain so faithful to the overpriced, over-stimulated Starbucks that you will look forward to your trips to the United States for the Trenta. At almost a litre, walking around with a Trenta could replace your resistance training program at the gym. Sadly (or not), there are no plans for the Trenta to be in Canadian Starbucks shops. But it’ll only be a matter of time, my fellow fiends.
Our stomachs, with a capacity of around 2 litres, are expanding into swimming pools, and our esophagi into tunnels. Even though Starbucks is offering low-cal options like iced tea, we are not safe. The amount of sugar in some of the iced drinks is astronomical.
Caffeine binds to the adenosine receptors in our brain, and counteracting them reduces cerebral blood flow. More caffeine is then required to maintain that same feeling of euphoria.
This, my friends, results in addiction a sad, expensive and delicious trap in which many of us find ourselves. Caffeine isn’t exactly a mind altering substance, but its addictive effects are comparable to nicotine.
Hearing about the new Trenta caused me to sweat profusely and have heart palpitations measurable on the Richter scale 8212; a sign that I was in dire need of a Trenta.
What should we expect next in a world where everything from our waistbands to our economy is expanding? The 40-ounce Quarenta, probably. As long as we carry it around in a brown paper bag.
