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Kiss me through the phone

by The Concordian March 6, 2012

O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? When it comes to long-distance relationships, to be or not to be is the question.
It’s hard to imagine a relationship where your significant other lives miles away, especially when you’ve been so used to seeing your partner regularly in person.
Couples sometimes have no choice but to have LDRs because of endless opportunities such as job offerings or the chance to study abroad. Luckily, technology has made it incredibly easy to maintain these kinds of relationships. All those who have experienced it will tell you that instant communication is really the best tool to bridge the gap.
An interesting study conducted by The Centre for the Study of Long-Distance Relationships on 450 university students showed that 20 per cent of them were currently in LDRs. Of those involved, 56 per cent spoke on the phone several times a week, 53 per cent emailed daily and a small minority said their relationship was worse because of the distance factor.
For those who have never been in a LDR, you might assume that they lead to cheating and lies. But according to Montreal sex therapist Dr. Rachel Toledano, this isn’t the case. “People who are prone to cheating will cheat whether or not their partner is nearby or miles away,” she said. “Distance cannot therefore be blamed for infidelity.”
Unfortunately, trust issues can easily destroy a couple’s long-distance relationship. If the relationship is poisoned by jealousy and drama, it will never be healthy. For example, if you interrogate your partner every time he or she does not return your call or does not message you all day, you will make yourself miserable.
Toledano said, “LDRs can create a lot of frustration because as time passes, one accumulates different positive and negative emotions regarding the relationship.” This is true for every relationship because jealousy will push your partner into more accepting arms as a result.
Journalism student Jamie-Lee Gordon, who’s boyfriend lives in Switzerland, says she entered the relationship thinking it wasn’t going to last because of the distance.
After a few months apart, she realized her LDR wasn’t as hard as she had imagined. “I don’t think there is anything unhealthy about long-distance relationships. If anything, it has made [our] relationship so much stronger. We essentially have the same relationship that we always had, with some modifications and adaptations, but with a much stronger foundation.”
Though LDRs have become common, don’t let yourself believe they are effortless. Many weeks or months without physically seeing your partner can be very hard, as Toledano explained.
“LDRs may cause frustration because the couple becomes lonely and lacks physical attention. The couple needs to devote itself entirely for the relationship to work,” she said.
But sometimes that kind of devotion can prove to be too difficult. Concordia human environment student Yuka San said, “LDRs are very unhealthy. I’ve done it and it was terrible. Of course I would commit to a LDR if I had no choice, but I would try and avoid it. And the challenge to LDRs is that there is absolutely no sex.”
Yes, being in a LDR is tough, but they aren’t impossible. You can find numerous websites that offer tools to survive them. They inform readers about texting etiquette, how to write love letters and gift ideas.
If you’re considering a LDR, it is important to remember that every relationship is different. It’s the amount of commitment you put into it that matters.

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