As he’s inked, crying
As I Lay Dying’s frontman Tim Lambesis is the kind of man who starts a side project loosely inspired by an ex-governor action-star called “Austrian Death Machine.” So it’s not difficult to comprehend where he gets his ideas on crowdsourcing incentives to fund said band’s third album Triple Brutal. For a mere $5,000 you can have your initials tattooed on Tim’s butt followed by a celebratory dinner and “maybe you can hold Tim’s hand while he’s under the needle.” Though that’s the top prize to be had on his indiegogo.com funding page, there are a number of other rewards up for grabs, including a gym workout with Tim for $99, having your face on his shirt at a concert for 250$ and having the singer be your personal trainer for a month for $500. As of this writing, the campaign has collected $16,000 of the $63,000 required by April 5, but no one’s coughed up the five grand yet, so you may still have your chance at cheeky immortality!
Battle of the B-listers
A while back troubled actress Lindsay Lohan decided to sue rapper Pitbull over some lyrics he spouted in his song “Give Me Everything”: “So I’m tiptoein’ to keep flowin’/I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan.’” Apparently Lohan believed that the lines constituted an “unwarranted, unauthorized and unfavorable mention of [her] name and personality, and allusions to [her] physical and mental character.” Lohan’s lawyer argued that the song was created for commercial and not artistic reasons. Incredibly the judge disagreed, saying the song constituted “a work of art” (legally speaking) and that it was protected against publicity and privacy-related claims under the first amendment. “The fact that the song was presumably created and distributed for the purpose of making a profit does not mean that plaintiff’s name was used for ‘advertising’ or ‘purposes of trade’ within the meaning of the New York Civil Rights Law.” In addition to losing the case, Lohan’s lawyer was fined for “an affront to the court” for allegedly plagiarizing her legal briefs from educational websites and other law firms.
Better branding through bodyslams
In case you didn’t hear the Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan started his own professional wrestling company, Resistance Pro, back in 2011. Now he’s taken the next logical step in his progression from alt-rock icon to guy who does weird things for a living by using said wrestling company to make a T.V. commercial to sell furniture. The company in question, Walter E. Smithe Furniture, is a local Chicago store known for its ridiculous advertising. If you’re curious, Pitchfork summed up the ad pretty well: “Corgan and one of the Smithe brothers are playing musical chairs in a wrestling ring. Then they get in a fight. Naturally, Corgan calls in his goons from Resistance Pro Wrestling. When one of the dudes tries to hit another guy with a chair, Corgan stops him: ‘That’s a Walter E. Smithe chair!’” As for Corgan’s reasoning, “Branding anything these days is a real challenge,” he told the Chicagoist. “We have to build credibility in the wrestling community. It’s based on visibility and name recognition.” As to how that translates into wrestlers selling furniture, your guess is as good as mine.