Listen up gents, and listen close. As many of you have probably already experienced, your smooth lines and romantic advances are not always positively met. If you get turned down, you proceed to call this girl a “bitch” or a “tease,” simply because you thought they were “down,” but it turns out they were really just being polite with you.
It happens all too often that a girl is labelled a tease, post-rejection. I was at a bar one night with some girlfriends when a group of guys approached us and asked us—basically pleaded with us—to have shots with them. Despite using the Rico Suave line of “beautiful girls like you shouldn’t have to pay for your own drinks,” we sized them up and decided they were harmless and nice enough. After about an hour of laughs, conversation and probably three or four rounds of tequila, one of them started getting fresh with me and asked me to leave with him. After smiling, politely declining, and thanking him for the drinks and the company, we decided it was time to jet. As I’m thanking them and saying goodbye, Rico Suave stops me and shamelessly says, “I dropped all those bills, and I get nothing?” For the sake of not causing a scene, I contained my rage and got the hell out of that bar with my girls. Just because you have a weenie, doesn’t mean you need to act like one.
Why is it that so many guys equate politeness and friendliness with “wanting the D?” I mean, just because a girl is nice to you, doesn’t mean that she wants you to be her Prince Charming and sweep her off her feet. Maybe she would rather maintain a friendship with you instead of having awkward—and slightly intoxicated—regret.
Don’t get me wrong; there are those girls who play into this frame of mind and love keeping members of the opposite sex wrapped around their manicured finger. She might even have you on her list of “nice guys” that she’ll text when she’s feeling bored, drunk, alone or insecure, but I assure you, this is not the general norm for the female sex.
If this confession were to be posted on Twitter, it would probably be hashtagged under “prettygirlproblems” or reduced to a humble brag. In all honesty, it’s just plain unfair for a girl to have to change her amicable personality, or the way she speaks to men, just to spare a testosterone fuelled ego.
Thankfully, not all members of the male species adhere to this mentality. There may be some truth to the notion that girls love a bad boy heartbreaker and that “good guys” finish last or automatically get placed in the friend zone, but is it really so bad just to be friends with the opposite sex without any uncomfortable tensions? Despite what I’ve been told, I refuse to abide by the idea that men and women cannot maintain a mutually platonic friendship.
So unless you’re James Franco—and if you are, please call me you beautiful specimen of humanity—the next time you assume a girl wants to jump your bones because she smiled or said something nice to you, think first then act, and remember to tread lightly.