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Let’s talk about sex

by Sara Baron-Goodman October 14, 2014
Let’s talk about sex

Exploring the backside of things

Anal — one of the last few sexual taboos, outside of male-on-male circles at least. When heteronormative couples do engage in anal play, most of the time, the lady is on the receiving end of the backdoor visit.

A friend of mine, who shall remain nameless, was telling me how she struck an interesting barter with her boyfriend after he brought up his interest in “cheeky” play. It went a little something like “I’ll let you do it to me if I can do it to you.” Upon hearing which, I’m told, the blood all but drained from his face. Clearly, he didn’t want anyone butt-ing in.

Call me crazy, but this logic seems flawed.

Let’s say they had gone through with this deal — for women, the inner sanctums of the rectum have no pleasure glands. Sure, some women love it, but the chances of reaching a climax or even any sort of physical pleasure from this act depends on the slim chances of hitting the right spot from the back end — a spot that’s elusive as it is.

Now, let’s flip it and reverse it. The chances of men gaining enjoyment from being on the receiving end of butt play is far greater. In fact, it’s basically satisfaction guaranteed. The prostate, or p-spot, as it’s referred to colloquially, is an implicit part of men’s sexual pleasure, and plays a key role in ejaculation. I cannot speak to having a prostate myself, but rumour has it that that little gland, located just south of the rectum in males, is a hotbed of potential pleasure.

So boys, why the reservations? Social ignorance and decades of ingrained homophobia would have many men wary that allowing a visitor in from the back — whether it’s a finger, a toy, or a phallus — would somehow be emasculating.

Well sure, if it’s emasculating to want to take advantage of all your erogenous zones, and not just the ones that stick straight out at you, then so be it. That’s your decision.

Just remember, if you are going to venture south and ‘round the corner, make sure all participating parties are on board for the p-spot express, and use a healthy dose of lube.

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