Home CommentaryStudent Life Love and sex can be more than just a game for two

Love and sex can be more than just a game for two

by Jocelyn Beaudet October 7, 2014
Love and sex can be more than just a game for two

Sex is pretty great, let’s be honest. Getting older and exploring our sexuality with different partners helps us delve into all the different means we have of pleasing and being pleased in bed.

Yet, there’s a long-standing tradition of raising judgmental brows at those who choose to have more than one sexual partner at a time. From slut-shaming to blatant fear-mongering, those who choose to be involved with more than one person at once often suffer the cruel fate of their peers’ ire. Is this right? Not in the slightest, so hopefully this helps clear up some of the public misconceptions about those of us who subscribe to the “more the merrier” mantra.

Serial monogamy is fine as a choice, with relatively short commitments to partners and the liberty to come and go as one pleases. It’s generally a lot less about feelings, and a lot more about fun. Nobody should get in trouble for getting their rocks off if it isn’t raining on anyone else’s parade. It’s also a great way to discover new and exciting kinks.

Polyamory though, tends to be shrouded in hearsay and misinformation, often generalized as being “a sex thing,” or just about getting it on with more folks than one can count. But the reality of the situation is quite different. Polyamory isn’t just about the sex — although that certainly is a part of it — but about multiple committed relationships between consenting individuals. No secrets, no jealousy.

The distinction between serial monogamy and polyamory is fairly important to know, and even more important to apply to real-life situations.

In every type of relationship, from serial monogamous to polyamorous ones, emotions need to be considered. While there’s nothing ethically wrong with either choice, getting involved sexually can form fairly cohesive bonds between those involved. Should this mean that no barrier should exist in communication? Well, not so much, but what every partner deserves to know is whether or not you’re seeing other people as well. Honesty goes a long way, and misleading a potential future partner can easily cause some fairly disastrous fallout down the road. Nobody likes a disingenuous person, and even fewer folks enjoy being lied to.

At the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with having consensual partners, whether there are one, two or twenty. So long as safety is practiced and everyone’s satisfied with what they’re getting, without any cloak-and-dagger misdirection, then there’s no place for anyone to complain.

So like I wrote in the first paragraph: sex is pretty great, but you know what? It doesn’t need to stop with one partner just because of some arbitrary idea of what a relationship should be. Love is a free thing, so why do we feel obliged to bring prejudice into the picture?

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