Home CommentaryOpinions Dild-uh-oh: not the kind of “toy” kids were hoping for

Dild-uh-oh: not the kind of “toy” kids were hoping for

by Robin Stanford January 13, 2015
Dild-uh-oh: not the kind of “toy” kids were hoping for

Play-Doh dildo toy ‘ruins Christmas’, claim parents

Everyone has been there. One last holiday present to buy for the child of a friend you haven’t seen in ages. What do you get the child who has everything, and for whom a sex toy may be too risqué? Mattel is there for your needs, with the Sweet Shoppe Cake Mountain playset.

Included is an “extruder”—or plastic icing topper—for use with Play-Doh putty. It is shaped much like half of a cucumber with a spiral along the cylinder and a beaded texture ring for the child’s comfort. Parents should not be worried about the object slipping from their child’s grasp, as Mattel has been kind enough to include a flared base.

Needless to say, much like the “butt-plug” sculpture in Paris, not everyone was appreciative of the company’s newest product. As reported by CBC News on Dec. 31, customer Jennifer Turner claims that her daughter receiving this gift “ruined our Christmas.” Similarly, others on Twitter questioned how such an adult-seeming toy came to be included in the Play-Doh set.

Congratulations should be extended to the individual(s) who came up with the creative design and managed to convince marketing to package this product. How did that even happen? Only two possibilities come to mind: a dare gone too far, or an awkwardly intimate evening.  Regardless, the decision to replicate something from the “pleasure chest” was daring to say the least.

Angry parents claim that the extruder tool, included with Mattel’s Sweet Shoppe Cake Mountain playset, is age-inappropriate. (Photo by @bmance_kingdoms on Twitter)

The marketing department clearly dropped the balls on this, but probably meant well. Any individual looking at this design would know how difficult it would be for the general public to take.  Were there no focus testing among the parents, who would, one would imagine, be buying your product? If so, their odd expressions were probably a clue of what was to come.

As a result of the extruder production, customers poured onto Play-Doh’s Facebook page with comments and pictures. Mattel, for their part, handled complaints with the grace expected of any major corporation. All questions, comments, suggestions, and angry assertions were removed from the Play-Doh Facebook page. To their credit, a new design has been announced and they will be sending disgruntled customers new extruders.

The victory was well-won by the outraged parents. One can only wonder how they plan to rid the world of other Johnson imitators. First among them being the cucumber, which would need to be taken out of homes and school kitchens. Characters such as Disney’s Pinocchio would require a major overhaul as well, or at least rhinoplasty. The Washington Monument would also need to be reworked, in order to remove the unseemly design.

The question that no one seems to be asking is how does this affect the children? At the time of writing, no information was available on this.

It would seem, from evidence in children’s cartoons, that they don’t understand sexual humor or necessarily recognize shapes the same way as adults. BuzzFeed, for example, has published many lists showing adult humour that was not understood by their intended audience. For example, in SpongeBob SquarePants, SpongeBob is caught watching sea-pornography in one episode. In another, he tells another character not to drop the soap. Children do not understand this in the same way as their parents will.

Regardless of how damaging this toy is to the young psyche, the true danger is clear. Parents seem worried about that day when their child goes looking for their extruder and can’t find it anywhere. When the parents can’t be bothered to look. The day that their youngster enters the room with another object, says they can’t get the “icing” to come out—and is holding Mom’s toy instead.

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