We hate Valentine’s Day

Here’s how we think you should spend the Hallmark holiday

Treat yo’self
by Marco Saveriano

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, but who says you have to be in a relationship to enjoy it? I don’t think you do… Treat yourself! People put such a huge importance on this one day each year, and it’s kind of ridiculous. If you’re not in a relationship on Feb. 14, big deal. Guess what? You weren’t in a relationship on Feb. 13, either. And if you’re in a relationship and you only express your love for one another on that one day a year, maybe you should work on that. No offence, but your relationship probably sucks.

You don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend to buy you expensive gifts or take you out for dinner; just splurge on yourself! Last year, I spent almost $80 on skincare products as a Valentine’s Day present to myself, and it was great. This year, I’ll take myself shopping, and I’ll spend a little too much but you know what? I deserve it. Maybe I’ll indulge in some expensive chocolates or, even better, macarons! I also have dinner plans with two of my single girl friends. Nothing is better than gossip, greasy food, and some cocktails. Plus, we can people watch and speculate about all the couples on bad dates. Who needs a significant other when you can have a drink (or 10) with friends? Just don’t be that Debbie Desperate who gets drunk and starts crying about their loneliness, it’s really not a good look for anyone.

Put down that tub of ice cream, turn off The Notebook, clean yourself up, and remember: Valentine’s Day is just another day, so have fun with your friends, and don’t worry about being single.

 

If you like then you shoulda put a LOTR on it
by Sara Baron-Goodman

Hey nerds, the Concordia Student Union, or CSU, has you covered this Valentine’s Day with the ultimate movie marathon. We are talking all three Lord of the Rings movies screened back-to-back, in extended edition.

That is approximately one million hours (actually just 11.367 hours) of Viggo Mortensen speaking Elvish, beautiful sweeping scenic shots of New Zealand, endless hours of Orlando Bloom in tights and more gorey, full-screen battle scenes than you can take.

You’ll want to take Orlando’s lead and wear something nice and comfortable—costumes are strongly encouraged.

The event is free, so show up early to get a good seat. Doors open at 10:30 a.m.

The marathon will take place in the Hall Building Auditorium, H-110

A vaudeville Valentine
by Sara Baron-Goodman

Get your freak on (or rather, watch as other get theirs on) at Glam Gam Productions’ “Love Stinks” cabaret.

Spend Saturday night in style with hostess Sandy Bridges listening to the sweet songs of Gigi French and her compatriots, who will be putting on a vaudevillian variety show for your viewing pleasure.

An after party will ensue, featuring DJ Like the Wolf, AKA Laura Boo, and ring in the actual holiday of love: Feb. 15, AKA the day when all chocolate is half-price. If that’s not cause to celebrate, I don’t know what is.

Tickets are two for $25 online or $15 at the door.

The party starts at 9:30 p.m at Café Cléopatra, 1230 St-Laurent Blvd.

 

March for missing and murdered women
by Sara Baron-Goodman

Spend Valentines Day marching for missing and murdered women.

This is one very real way to show love and support for an important cause.

For the sixth consecutive year, join in solidarity to commemorate the lives of missing and murdered women of all races, ages, and backgrounds, but with special emphasis on the violence against women and girls in the Native community.

Guest speakers, to be announced, will be present at the gathering with what are sure to be empowering words and calls to action for all these girls and women who have disappeared or perished due to gender and colonization-related violence.

Cabot Square is located pn Atwater Ave. and Ste-Catherine St. W.

The march begins Feb. 14 at 3 p.m. at Cabot Square.

 

No love life? No problem
by Marilla Steuter-Martin

Spending this Valentine’s alone? Never fear.

Valentine’s Day is essentially a holiday celebrating love, so why not spend time with the people in your life who love you every day?

Consider organizing a get together (or giant party depending on how many single people you know) and go wild. Take this special time to watch cheesy romantic movies or eat an entire heart-shaped chocolate cheesecake.

Tis the season to reject society’s (and your grandma’s) expectations that you’ll (finally!) have a significant other this year. (Sorry Grandma, maybe next year.)

Fortunately, Valentine’s falls on a Saturday night this year, and rather than spend it alone, boozing and cruising your Facebook feed looking for old photos of your exes—invite your friends to do that with you!

Valentine’s isn’t the greatest holiday of the year, but it doesn’t have to be miserable either. Do yourself a favour, make a sloppy Facebook event, pick up a bottle of Fifty Shades of Grey wine at the SAQ and keep your chin up.

Chances are you aren’t the only person in your immediate social circle whose Valentine’s plans don’t consist of a candlelit dinner or long walk on the beach.

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