Classical composers competition: who was the most gangster?
By Cristina Songza, Contributor
If you think that artists like Kendrick Lamar and Jay-Z are the best beat-dropping, bar-spitting rappers ever, it’s time you learn about the ultimate gangsters of the music world: classical composers. I’m not trying to pull a Kanye here, but nothing gets more gangster than a sonata or concerto, and let’s face it, they created some of the best pieces of music of all time.
Group Concerto della Rza:
Verdi dropped an operatic beat like no other. So much so that his operas are performed up to 400 times every year to this day. Verdi and Wagner probably had the biggest beef, making today’s rap battles look like newborn calves. Although they never met, they resented each other. He obviously ended with a big following, as his funeral still remains as the largest public event in the history of Italy. Need ice for that burn, Wagner?
Twerk to this: La Traviata – Brindisi
I’m talking Johann Sebastian Bach, otherwise known as the biggest baby maker and pimp of the classical world. Bach had over 20 children in his lifetime with two different women. Diddy and his lil’ family pack ain’t got nothing on him. Bach was playing for royalty like it was his morning routine, was the master of polyphony and spat bars in all kinds of instruments, from organ to violin.
Twerk to this: Toccata and Fugue in D minor
Everyone needs to know about my main boy Wolfie. That’s what the folks would call him. If you looked at his birth certificate though, you would find that his name was actually more epic than that: Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Amadeus Gottlieb Sigismundus Mozart. He actually learned to write music before he could write words, and wrote over 600 pieces of music during his lifetime. Get on dat level, son.
Twerk to this: Requiem in D minor
Group Sonata Della Gza:
By Paul TRAUNARROW, Staff writer
3. Carlo Gesualdo
Gesualdo was not only a 17th-century composer, but also a royal prince.
He has been the subject of several operatic works and documentaries due to the violent murder of his adulterous wife, who had been cheating on him with a cross-dressing duke. He ultimately died due to injuries caused by his masochistic fetish of being mercilessly beaten daily by his male servants. (Hit the showers, boys!)
Twerk to this: Tristis Est Anima Mea
2. Hildegard of Bingen
Not only was she canonized as Saint Hildegard in 2012 by Pope Benedict XVI, this German writer, composer, philosopher and overall visionary was a badass feminist who took credit for her own compositions, which often related to the female body, desire and sexuality in a time when it was forbidden. (Step aside, Beyoncé!)
Twerk to this: O Viridissima Virga
1. Franz Liszt:
Topping the list, is a man who is considered the “world’s first rock star.” Liszt’s popularity in the 19th century was comparable to The Beatles in the ‘60s—so much so that the hysteria he caused was dubbed “Lisztomania.” He boasted 26 high profile love affairs, including a French countess, had an unhealthy appetite for absinthe and cognac and was known to destroy pianos during his outrageous theatrical recitals onstage.
(Definitely “bigger than Jesus!”)
Twerk to this: Liebestraum