My whole life, I’ve always gone after what I wanted. I tried out for all the parts I wanted in the school play; I worked hard in school to be a good student and make the honour roll; I applied to jobs I wasn’t completely qualified for. I did all of these things because of who I am as a person – I’m a fighter, I go after what I want.
If you’re new here, hi! This is a column where I discuss the ups and downs, the good and the annoying, literally everything about being single – hence the name. If you’re wondering why I’m talking about my “nature” as a person, it leads into the following: when it comes to love, everyone always says to stop looking for it because it’ll come to you when you least expect it. But how do you leave something be when it’s in your nature – it’s how you function – to fight for what you want?
This is something I’ve been trying to navigate over the last few years: I know I should let love come to me (I’m also a big believer in fate, big surprise) but I can’t just let opportunity pass me by. You never know what you could be missing out on if you don’t put yourself out there.
The main point is the conflict between creating your own path to something (fighting for it and creating opportunities for success) or letting things fall into place when they’re meant to (letting the universe do its work, as fate might have a master plan).
While I’ve had a difficult time in the past dealing with leaving my love life up to fate (the universe, any god, possibly even to nothing), I’ve become more inclined to letting go of the incessant fear of ending up alone if I’m not on every dating app or scouting potential prospects in my everyday life.
I’ve come to the calm realization, like the ocean after a storm, that if I end up alone, well, at least I would have had my fair share of experiences, all of which shaped me into who I am today. I know that I tried and failed, that I would have had my heart broken, my feelings manipulated, and my hopes shattered.
With all that being said, even though I fight for what I want, I’ve decided to leave love up to fate and wait for it to happen when I least expect it.
Graphic by @sundaeghost