I debated sharing this with everyone, with however many strangers and my mom (hi mom) are going to read this, but I think there’s a valuable point to my story, so just hear me out.
This is the first summer in about four years that I wasn’t on a dating app. That doesn’t seem like a very big deal and, in theory, it isn’t. But when you spent many years on and off dating apps trying to find someone you connect with, I guess it kind of is.
In the first issue of The Art of Being Single for 2019-20, I wrote about how I’m a go-getter in all aspects of my life, dating and love included. All my time on dating apps over the last few years have been to potentially find someone I would maybe spend my life with (big claim, yes I know, but it does happen!)
If you’ve been following along with my column, or if you know me in real life, you know that my search over the years has been futile. Sure, I’ve spoken to and gotten to know a lot of cool, interesting people, but also some people that, looking back at now, I wish I hadn’t invested so much of my time in.
I’m not going to say that I necessarily regret spending so much time on dating apps over the years, because every single one of those people (and trust me, there’s been a lot, all who’ve eventually ghosted) have moulded me into who I am today. Each person has left me with memories, with inside jokes I still laugh at sometimes, with things that remind me of them in everyday life. They’ve all helped me know what I want and don’t want, what I like and dislike, how to maneuver through the world of dating. All of these people have shaped my view on the dating world and made me into who I am today.
So, this was the first summer in a long time that I wasn’t on a dating app. It was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t wasting my time swiping left and right, updating my profile to sound interesting, engaging in conversations with people that would end up ghosting at the end. This was the first summer that I wasn’t completely engrossed by my phone looking at profile after profile trying to look for love.
This summer, I felt free. And you should try it sometime too.