The art of being single: Know that you’re not alone

Graphic by Loreanna Lastoria

What do you do when everyone around you is getting in a relationship, always going on dates, in multiple people’s DMs? What do you do when, even in a crowd full of people, in a room full of friends, surrounded by a family that loves you, you feel all alone? 

Relationships are weird. You spend so much time going about your life, living it alongside those around you in a neat little existence, minding your business and taking things one step at a time. One day, you meet someone – you bump into them on the street, you’re in the elevator together, you follow each other on Twitter, you match and start chatting on a dating app – and your life changes.

No longer are you simply living your life in a little bubble following a neat little existence alongside your friends and family. Your life now revolves, in some respect, around the person you start talking to, and eventually start dating. It’s great, life feels full, love is everywhere around you.

But what if you’re that friend on the sideline, on the outside of all this? The one that was living that neat little existence beside you, with no sight for a relationship anywhere nearby. What if you’re the friend who’s single while everyone else around you is living their best taken/dating life? Obviously, you’re happy for your friends, your family, whoever it is that found love – but what about you?

The idea that the more love there is around you, the more love you feel might be nice in theory. But it can feel very lonely when everyone else around you is experiencing love. Yes, there are my friends and family, maybe even some strangers, who love me; yet nothing can fill that little void you feel when you’re missing out on it all.

Yes, I know that the people around me love me and care for me, but not having someone to love more than in the capacity of just a friend or your family can be quite lonely. It’s not the worst thing in the world, of course, but it’s still a prevalent feeling.

Yes, I know it may suck for all it’s worth, but really try to focus on the positives: at least you have friends and family and maybe even strangers who love and appreciate you. Know that, while you may feel alone when it seems like everyone else in the world has someone except for you, you aren’t really alone. You’re not the only one feeling that way, your emotions are valid, and your time to find that love you see everyone else around you have will come one day – just maybe not today.

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