The art of being single: Dating is exhausting

Graphic by Loreanna Lastoria

Dating is exhausting.

The pre-date chatting that can go on for as little as one day to as long as a few weeks—let’s face it, even if this might not be ideal, we’re adults and life gets hard to schedule sometimes. There’s also the setting up an actual date, getting ready for the date, going on the date, talking to your date, maybe arguing about who’s going to pay for the date and then doing this all over again a few times while you try to decide if you actually like this person. Sometimes you can know right away, but how do you know this is the right person out of all the people you’re talking to?

Yes, other people because why would you put all your eggs in one basket? How do you know all this time and energy spent on one person is going to work out? You don’t. So while all this is going on with one person, you’re also trying to balance talking to other people, setting up other dates, trying to schedule all these things in the same week alongside your classes, job, homework, family and social life. Whew. Just trying to manage all these things can be physically exhausting.

Dating is hard, yo. Even if you end up going on a few dates with someone to try to figure out if you like them, like, how do you know how long that’s going to take? How long do you want to spend talking to/seeing just one person you’re not entirely sure about? Again, you don’t. It’s all so exhausting trying to figure out who you like and if they’re worth all the time you’re spending while you’re going on dates, but also whether or not you actually want to date them, as in be with them, long term.

Dating is also scary. Through all these dates, you’re spending all this time talking to people, opening up to them, divulging parts of yourself, your interests, hobbies, day-to-day life, you talk about your family, your friends, your goals, dreams, blah blah blah—over and over again.This too can be exhausting; trying to gauge how much you’re going to trust someone, what you want to tell them, what parts of yourself you want to keep away until you decide if you actually want to be with them. All these things can take a toll on your mental and emotional capacities. 

So why do we keep going on dates? Well, I assume it’s because you want to end up with someone, or maybe you just want to add a little bit of extra ~spice~ in your life. Either way, if you decide you’re too tired and want to take a break from dating, you do you boo; we’re out here supporting you.


Graphic by Loreanna Lastoria

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