The art of being single: breaking up over text

Graphic by Loreanna Lastoria

Four years ago, I was broken-up with over text. It was a weekend, Feb. 12 to be exact.

My dad found me crying in my bed that morning when I read a reply of “I’m sorry but I lost feelings for you” to my previous night’s question along the lines of “what’s wrong/is everything okay?” because he was ghosting me. I was sobbing and didn’t know why that had happened because, just the week before, he had told me he loved me.

You may be wondering why I’m bringing up something that happened so long ago. You may also be thinking that I shouldn’t even think about it, give him any thought or maybe you think I’m crazy for still thinking about this, years later.

The reason why I’m bringing it up is to make a point. This happened four years ago and I still think about it, and I’m writing this because it stuck with me in a way that it shouldn’t have. 

While a text message is a way of communicating to someone that you’re thinking of them at that moment, or as a means of getting a message across quickly, it’s not the only way it can be used. In this case, a text message breaking-up with someone feels like a slap in the face. It felt like I wasn’t worth much more than a few seconds in his thoughts, I was nothing more than a quick message he relayed and dodged the consequences of, since I wasn’t there in front of him.

Four years ago, someone non-explicitly told me I wasn’t worth their time anymore, either as their girlfriend or as a human being with feelings that should have been taken into consideration. Being broken up with through text—a few days before Valentine’s Day to say the least—made me feel undeserving of being loved, of receiving respect. Most importantly, it made me feel unvalued, undignified and disposable.

Four years ago, I was broken-up with over text. Since then, I have grown up, I have learnt that I am worthy of love, respect, of having dignity, and have the right to demand it. Just don’t break up with someone over text; it will likely affect them more than you think and stay with that person for years to come. If you’re mature enough to have a relationship, be mature enough to break up with someone face to face.

Graphic by Loreanna Lastoria 

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