Is Erling Haaland human?

GRAPHIC BY MADELINE SCHMIDT

It’s a bird… it’s a plane… no, it’s Erling Haaland!

We can only admire Erling Haaland’s unprecedented start to the Premier League campaign, as he is currently leading with 15 goals.

The Premier League has always been considered the toughest soccer league, with newcomers having to adjust to the high level of competition.

However, the Norwegian striker is crushing it like it’s child’s play in his very first year. He has already tallied 15 goals, including three hat-tricks in his first nine games. The record for the most goals scored by a player in a 38-game season was 32 goals by Mohamed Salah in 2017-18.

Haaland on the other hand, is on pace to score nearly 67 goals this season with an unreal rate of 1.79 goals per 90 minutes. The most impressive thing about this is that he has a chance to pulverize the record at only 22 years of age.

The soccer player’s success in the Premier League is not a random stroke of luck. Whether it was in Salzburg, Dortmund, or the Norwegian national team where he once scored nine goals in a single game at the 2019 FIFA U-20 World Cup, he has been dominating everywhere he plays. 

To put things further into perspective, at 22 years old Haaland has scored more goals than Messi and Ronaldo did when they were his age — combined.

The 6’4” and 191-pound striker has a very lethal skill set for his size. He plays a powerful game and is stronger, faster and bigger than the average centre-back.

He is insanely good at positioning himself on the field in order to be a threat, and reads the play well to make defenders uncomfortable — with or without the ball. Moreover, he is already becoming one of the world’s best finishers with his uncanny ability to finish with both feet and head.

Granted, it’s not hard to score when you play for Manchester City — a club that has players like Kevin De Bruyne or Bernardo Silva who can dish you the ball at the exact spot you want it to be. But even then, you still need to get it past the goalie, and Haaland is incredibly good at that.

He is in fact so good that a petition started to circulate online asking Haaland to be excluded from the Premier League, and it gathered more than two million signatures from fans.

People are genuinely wondering if he’s a robot and I don’t blame them. If you’d like to see the carnage unfold yourself, you should seriously start tuning in to his games as he’s solely decimating entire clubs and has all the talent in the world to shatter Salah’s 32-goal record this year.

After all, he is currently putting up numbers that have never been seen before in over 100 years of Premier League soccer.

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