And people might not even be using them right
When counselor Gary Chapman wrote a book on his theory of the five love languages, he probably didn’t think that, years later, people would be saying that avocado toast is their love language.
Initially, Chapman came up with a pretty simple concept: “Different people with different personalities give and receive love in different ways.”
The Love Language Quiz is an online questionnaire you can use to find out how you and your partner prefer to receive love. Ultimately, love language compatibility is not as important as it is to understand how your partner feels loved.
Now, don’t get me wrong, it sounds good in theory and practice. However, people have been talking about love languages in a very self-focused way. Today, the love language test is being used more as a personality test than a tool to help relationships.
People are listing their love language on their dating profile just as they would their astrological sign and personality traits. But at the end of the day, the love languages were meant as a way to guide your relationship, not base it off of that.
Are people really going to start using this as an excuse for incompatibility?
It’s also important to note that Chapman’s book was published in 1995. Not to sound too old and wise, but things have changed since then. The way we talk about relationships has changed. So, should we even rely on them at all?
Couples can now use the languages for scorekeeping. After all, aren’t most arguments started because someone feels like they are the ones doing more in the relationship?
Not only that, love languages can change and evolve over time. Don’t we all need physical touch at one moment, and quality time at another?
As long as we communicate what we need at that specific time, our relationships would be just fine. We shouldn’t need a quiz to do that work for us and then blame our incompatibility on that when our relationships don’t work out.