Use it wisely.
That witty, on-your-toes attitude cannot be a better way to cope with any situation. Why wouldn’t it be? Right?
Sarcasm, or verbal irony, precariously toes the line between hostility and humour, and is a tool that many, myself included, use to diffuse certain situations and challenges. Though it is a clever way to lighten the mood, as a coping mechanism, it can go either way.
People primarily use sarcasm to deflect, or even mask, negative emotions, and people faced with stress, embarrassment, or even frustration use it to assume a facade. For example, Chandler Bing from the television show Friends literally says, “I’m not great with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” His sarcastic yet wittingly charming personality is an important part of his character, which is why many people can relate to him. On the other hand, Chandler uses his sarcasm in self-deprecating comments throughout the series, which allows us to discover a new layer of his psyche.
Through a humorous, even dismissive, point of view, people also use sarcasm to create emotional distance and put off confronting a painfully personal reality. Gilmore Girls’ Lorelai Gilmore is one of the most iconic sarcastic characters on television, and her witty banter and smart comebacks are what sets her apart from the more reserved characters in the show.
One of the most significant plotlines of the show is Lorelai’s ever-fluctuating relationship with her parents and the clash between their extravagant lifestyle and the quiet and secluded life she chose after having her daughter. Her socialite parents resent her for some of her choices, and many of her sarcastic comments, such as
“Independence Inn, major disappointment speaking” in response to her mother calling her at work (Season 3) or “Lorelai Gilmore, disappointing mothers since 1968” (Season 6), are jabs at the situation.
Personally, I use sarcasm as a coping mechanism quite frequently. It does, I do have to admit, sometimes lead to self-deprecating comments. It’s something that I need to work on — even my mum has told me that the self-deprecating aspect is something I need to change. There’s a thin line, and while I realize that sarcasm is one of my primary coping mechanisms, it should not be the only one and should be used mindfully.
Like everything in life, sarcasm has its drawbacks. Constantly using it can easily lead to miscommunication. It relies almost entirely on the tone and context of the situation, and if misused, it can be seen as insulting or passive-aggressive. People can also view sarcasm as unprofessional or disrespectful.
Yet, there is always an appeal to be witty or make clever remarks that leave others at a loss for words. Whether it’s being able to banter like Lorelai Gilmore, or always having a charmingly sarcastic remark like Chandler Bing, outsmarting the other person or people involved, a good sense of sarcasm is a trait many wish they possessed.
And honestly… fair enough.
