…then don’t say anything at all.
I would be blatantly lying if I didn’t say that I don’t gossip — a friend of mine and I even started saying that we don’t “gossip” per se; we just discuss information that we have discovered because the other person will find it just as intriguing as we do. Truly a tremendous loophole, if I do say so myself.
She and I are 100 per cent the people who go down a rabbit hole to discover why that one particular couple from high school who everyone thought would get married just broke up for some reason.
I don’t think that this applies to just me; so much of our daily lives are consumed by talking about other people and the details of their lives. But there are different forms of gossip: the fairly innocent kind and the not-so-innocent kind.
According to Time magazine, some researchers believe that gossip helped our ancestors survive and was a means of bonding and sharing social information.
At its core, gossip can be seen in a negative light. However, it serves an important purpose in our social lives. It helps us to bond with others over potentially shared experiences; we want to, and easily can, get the “inside scoop” because it makes us feel closer to others.
Historically, gossip has been a significant means of simply spreading information, especially among women. If you’ve watched Bridgerton, you may remember the scene in season one where Violet and her help begin spreading rumours about one of her daughter’s suitors — a man of money and stature — regarding an illegitimate child with one of his maids.
The result of the gossip? The suitor was scorned, his reputation ruined, and Violet’s daughter was saved from marrying him.
Gossip itself definitely gets a bad reputation, and for excellent reasons — especially because, at its core, many conflate gossip with slander or malicious lies. Yes, that is a dangerous element that comes with gossip, especially when the intention is to tear people down by spreading rumours.
This especially comes around with a school setting. You know, that one table of mean girls with nothing nice to say about those around them (and who are probably being two-faced about the other people in their little group).
But gossiping aids us in creating groups with those who we trust and have a connection to. It can monitor those who could be dangerous or have treacherous behaviour that could jeopardize a group.
Our reputations precede us, but is it always for a good reason?
