10 songs that make me want to vomit

It’s hard putting together a list of things that really annoy you—especially songs. So many come to mind that the competition is fierce. You could spend hours writing lists for most genres.

On this list, I tried to gather songs from the mainstream scenes and genres in order to make it as fair as possible for everyone (and by all means feel free to disagree!)

10: Coldplay – “Clocks”

The whole song is one progression that repeats itself forever and ever and ever and ever…everybody has heard it at least once, and that one time is much more than enough.

9: Nickelback – “Something in your mouth”

Any song by Nickelback could be on this list, but this one wins the “worst song of the worst band” competition. Not only for the sexism apparent throughout, or for the evident fact that Nickelback cannot write good music, but for the lyric “you’re so much cooler when you never pull it out/‘cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth.”

8: Avril Lavigne – “Girlfriend”

I admit it. I was amongst the people that in their teens thought Avril was punk, because that’s how far my knowledge of punk rock went. The first two albums were alright. Then this came out. Bleached-blonde Avril singing in pumps and tiny shorts about how she could be a better girlfriend by being “catty” and “original” with dancers in the back—just like a Britney Spears video clip. This song made me realize how the music industry will crush any traces of hope for something slightly different.

7: Justin Bieber – “Boyfriend”

Bieber’s singing, overall, is not completely terrible, but this song just makes me want to say: “Sorry, dude. Your attempt to copy Justin Timberlake’s singing is failing on every level.”

6: Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera “Moves like Jagger”

Because it’s annoying… Because you don’t dare use a rock icon in a bad pop song about sex metaphors. Only Jagger has the right to talk about his moves.

5: Baauer – “Harlem Shake”

Every time I hear the first few seconds of this song my blood rushes to my head because I expect someone to pop out and start that terrible dance. This song is three minutes and 17 seconds of a lion roar and the repetition of the words “el” and “con los terroristas.” How do you even make the connection?!

4: Carly Rae Jepsen – “Call me maybe”

I’m not heartless; I believe in love at first sight with a stranger. BUT YOU DON’T JUST GO GIVE THE GUY YOUR NUMBER! How desperate are you? A little class won’t kill the romance.

3: Rihanna – “Man Down”

…Because she thinks this is reggae. And it’s not. Not in any universe.

2: One Direction – “One Way or Another (Teenage Kicks)”

Every time I hear this song I wonder how Debbie Harry let this happen to her music…

1: Nicki Minaj – “Anaconda”

This song goes with the video-clip, because if you didn’t catch all the metaphors, you can match them with soft-core porn. The lyrics, the annoying laughter, the way she rips off “Baby Got Back”—so many things! And you thought 50Cent was being sexist with “Candy Shop.”

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