Confessions of a 20 something

Confessions of a 20-something #3

Let’s get one thing straight: don’t waste time on anybody who thinks they’re too good for pop music. And don’t be ashamed of anything you like.

Over the years, I’ve received a fair share of teasing for the music I listen to. Whether it was Britney Spears or Jedward, people always had something to say about it. One of the biggest problems people have is with liking anything that would be labeled “teeny bopper.” One Direction, Demi Lovato, or any other musical act associated with Disney are apparently off limits once you turn 16, and I never quite understood why.

If I’m being honest, my music tastes have basically not changed since I was about six-years-old. I may be an adult now, but that doesn’t mean my taste in music has to change completely.

In March of last year, One Direction made a stop at Musique Plus for an interview and performance. Streets had to be shut down because of the outrageous number of people outside the studio. My friends and I were part of that crazy crowd—I even skipped class to be there. The average age of the crowd was about 14-years-old. Meanwhile, my friends and I, for the most part, were over 18.

Please explain to me why we got more dirty looks than the other fans? Why should it matter that we’re older? We’re fans of One Direction too, and we were desperate to see them just like everybody else. For the next few days, whenever I mentioned to anyone that I had been there, they would laugh at me. Would it have been OK if I had been waiting outside for hours for a “cooler” band?

If you did a poll of what random people on the street were listening to, I guarantee you a lot of them would be too embarrassed to tell you. They would say it was their “guilty pleasure.” I’ve decided to stop using that term because you shouldn’t feel guilty for liking any song. If it makes you feel good, and makes you want to dance around your room singing at the top of your lungs, no one should stop you.

Whether you’re listening to Taylor Swift or Arcade Fire, Selena Gomez or The Rolling Stones, embrace it. This is what makes you who you are, what sets you apart from everybody else. Individuality is a beautiful thing, don’t be ashamed. The content of somebody’s iTunes library does not give you the right to look down on them.

“Aren’t you a little old to be listening to that?”

That mentality is getting old.

We shouldn’t be self-conscious about our taste in music. If you like what you hear, that’s all that matters. I spent too long hiding the music on my iPod from prying eyes. Who cares if I have the entire Camp Rock soundtrack? I’m not ashamed! Do you hear that Miley Cyrus song blasting from my headphones? I hope you enjoy it.

Everyone is better than me. It is as if a secret handbook to life was handed out in elementary school on a day where I had the flu or the chicken pox. I often find myself looking around and thinking everything is going wrong, all because it’s going differently for others.

A few years back if you would have asked me what I thought being 20 would feel like, I probably would have answered very differently than if you asked me how I feel right now. I’m an adult, right? I shouldn’t care what people think, because that’s the right thing to do. I should be like the nonchalant people who appear to stroll through their days. I’m independent, strong and tenacious.

Thing is, I am a walking contradiction. I doubt myself to the point where it even annoys me. I could probably attribute this mentality to being bullied for a large part of my childhood. Despite that, I’d like to think that everyone feels this way once in awhile. However, no one really talks about it openly. I often have people tell me “Wow, you have everything put together,” or “You’re so confident.” I get this from the very people I envy.

That’s when I almost spit out my pick-me-up pumpkin spice latté in disbelief. So this is how it works? So many of us are thinking the same thing, but no one wants to talk about it. No one wants to run through these weird and afflicting feelings of inadequacy? Does anyone want to open a dialogue that would help rid us of the extra anxieties and complexes we don’t need? I’m not saying we all need to hug it out and sing “Cumbayá” together, but a little more openness wouldn’t hurt.

It’s seen as a weakness. We’re adults now, we aren’t supposed to care about how other people conduct their business. If that is the case, then why are societal norms constantly pushed down our throats? Why is everything so codified — the rules, marking systems, perception of beauty, sex appeal, the list goes on. It seems like the foundation of our society makes it impossible to ignore what and how others are doing. In a transitional time such as your 20s, it is hard to focus on you and being yourself.

I love how people tell me to be myself, but then mock and shun me for doing exactly that. Because I feel like I’ll never be pretty enough. I’ll never be smart enough, clever enough, and funny enough. I’ll never be “normal.” It astonishes me how many people I’ve met who have felt this way. Amazing, intelligent, kind hearted people. It hurts me to see young people struggling with this, and it frightens me as well.

We’re constantly plugged in, making it terribly difficult to shut the world off. Our mistakes are documented now more than ever. I don’t know about you, but no matter how well I am doing in school, work and with my social life, I feel quite lost in the world we are currently marching forwards.

These are the confessions of a 20-something. These are the silly, “trivial,” embarrassing, but rather common feelings, stories and issues that no one wants to talk about. The little thoughts that rumble about inside of our minds and keep us awake at night. I’m opening the dialogue. Let’s do this.

Have something to say? A suggestion, comment, question or your own confession? Email theconcordianconfessions@gmail.com. It’s anonymous. Do it, you’ll feel better.