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Twenty lessons I’ve learned in 20 years…

Graphic by Finn Grosu @tesdoncbenfinn

…In no particular order

At the ripe age of 20, I definitely don’t have a lot of “life experience.”

However, I am proud to say that I have learned a few lessons, several of which come from observing family members and friends. In honour of my approaching 21st (oh no) rotation around the sun, I decided to reflect on some of said lessons, in the hope that these small slices of wisdom may be even slightly applicable to you. 

In no particular order…

  1. It is okay, if you financially can afford to do so, to stay at a job only until you can no longer learn anything from it. Wise words from my late Opa.
  1. It is completely natural for highschool friendships to fizzle out. The people who you have known for over 10 years tend to stick around for another 10.
  1. Moving out alone (and to a new city) is exciting yet ultimately terrifying. But you do get bragging rights.
  1. If you are not receptive to learning from something that continues to come up repeatedly, life will simply ram it down your throat. Some things you really have to learn.
  1. Watching a loved one slowly fade away is gut-wrenchingly heartbreaking, especially when you know it’s happening but you’re too far away to witness it. As much as you try to prepare for the inevitable, that pit in your stomach won’t fully disappear. 
  1. You will never be “home” again if you move for university; home is where you make it. On the upside, you’ll have a few places to call “home.”
  1. Spend time with your grandparents; it makes them so happy. Talk to them about anything, they’re excited to listen.
  1. It isn’t too late to turn a situation around if you really set your mind to it and it is in your power to do so. Do with that what you will.
  1. Lego is great no matter how old you are. And if you have never accidentally stepped on a Lego brick and been in agony, then I don’t know what to tell you.
  1. Changing yourself specifically for someone else will likely cause complete unhappiness. But don’t shy away from personal growth.
  1. Your grandmother will always give you second helpings of food, so don’t try to refuse.  You won’t leave her house feeling hungry, that’s for certain. 
  1. Listening to your parents will get you to the moon and back if you want it to. I know my parents are reading this and giggling gleefully.
  1. In some situations, people are powerless; never judge someone in a bad situation because leaving it can be easier said than done. Sometimes you just need to stand by and offer what you can. 
  1. Formulate your own opinions and personal values. You are a skilled and reasonable individual, trust your gut.
  1. If your mum says your outfit doesn’t look good, listen—she’s likely right, and you’ll save yourself the haunting pictures. Considering my mum dressed me up in some pretty stellar outfits as a kid, I’m still not sure why she let me out of the house in that outfit I wore for my 18th birthday party.
  1. If you have feelings for someone, shoot your shot, the worst they can say is no. Speaking from personal experience… It’ll take a bit of time, but you’ll get over it eventually. 
  1. There’s a fine line between whether the bad situation you’re in is actually someone else’s fault or your own. You cannot play the blame game for everything.
  1. Your pet will be your best friend. They’re great to vent to as well. 
  1. Be cautious about who you open up to about your past; unfortunately, some will use it against you. Not everyone wants to see you succeed.
  1. Only keep a precious few people privy to your private life. It is a privilege to know what is going on in the life of someone else, should they choose to share it with you.
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Music Quickspins

QUICKSPINS – Impera By Ghost

Ghost plays it safe with their new hard rock LP  

RATS! A new album from the infamous Ghost arrived last week. The Swedish rock band released its fifth studio album LP Impera following a four-year break from their previous album Prequelle. It features 12 songs that won’t freak you out, don’t worry. Ghost is not that scary once you listen to their music.  

Going over the album multiple times, it doesn’t sound like there is a conceptual idea for the album itself. However, in an interview with Loudwire’s Graham Hartmann, singer and frontrunner of Ghost Tobias Forge stated that the theme of the LP heavily falls on the rise and inevitable fall of empires. “We have distanced ourselves from the actual circularity of things and the cyclic nature of everything. […] The circularity I’ve been trying to talk about just happens to coincide now with what eventually will fall… the empire [Russia] that will fall because of this, I think, and hope,” said Forge.  

The album starts off with an instrumental track called “Imperium,” which is a fresh start to kick off the rest of the songs. Unfortunately, there were some songs that took heavy inspiration (read: ripped off) from other ones. “Kaisarion” sounds like “We Built This City” by Starship. The “Civilization” theme is also present in said Ghost track, given the lyrics “We’re building our empire from the ashes of an old.” I can see the resemblance with the lyrics, but why take the hook from Starship? The third track “Spillways” is even worse because the beginning literally sounds like the “Pokémon Theme” sung by Jason Paige. “Respite On The Spitalfields” has Def Leppard clean chords cutting through the mix, and “Hunter’s Moon” is screaming “Diary of a Madman” by Ozzy Osbourne. Last but not least, the guitar solo in “Watcher In The Sky” is heavily influenced by Avenged Sevenfold, with their “Hail to the King”-esque licks.           

The seventh track of the album, “Dominion” takes the album divider role. As a divider, the instrumental song showcases the separation between the lighter part of the album which the listener just experienced, and the heavier which is just to come. Following “Dominion,” is the heaviest song on the album: “Twenties.” This song starts off with fanfare which is pursued by a heavy oriental beat, similar to an Armenian style rhythm. Although the lyrical melody has a very bouncy feel to it (explicit as their verses are), the instruments don a Children of Bodom style chug which creates a heavy yet melodic song.  

When it comes to Ghost in general, they have their textbook way of writing lyrics. When it comes to the verses, they tell very grandiose stories which sound epic, like in the song “Watcher In The Sky” where the first verse reads “Evolutionary, the optics for us to get answers as to why, we signal to another dimension, that we stand here ready for reply.” On the other hand, their process of writing their choruses includes taking the title and rehashing it, like “Searchlights, looking for the watcher in the sky, searchlights, looking for the watcher in the sky.” This writing process makes for easy listening to songs rather than straining to understand complex lyrics. While it works in creating catchy tunes, maybe it would benefit if their songs didn’t sound a bit lighthearted, after all, they look like they burn churches.   

 In all sincerity, I feel that this album could have amounted to more than just blatant rip-offs and cheesy ‘80s inspired themes. While I did enjoy the main melodies and the theme of the album, it could have done better with more original and less processed-sounding ideas.     

 

Trial track: “Twenties”

Rating: 6.5/10

 

[spotifyplaybutton play=”https://open.spotify.com/track/53cMnrQfpipSePnw9SZroB?si=ad96b22f2a144730″]

Small Steps: Turning back the clock

I saw a tweet recently that showed screenshots from a TikTok of a teenage girl saying that she hoped to age like the cast of Bridgerton, displaying a photo of the actress who plays Daphne Bridgerton, age 25. The tweet’s caption jokes, “why do they all think ppl rot at the age of 21.”

While, on first glance, the notion of a 25 year-old being seen as “aged” would cause any twenty-something to laugh, this Zoomer’s analysis didn’t come out of nowhere. Our late teens and early twenties are often posited as the most fun, defining and important time of our lives. These years are supposed to be a time to experiment and find your true self — whatever that means. So it would stand to reason that after we hit that horrifying quarter century, it’s all downhill.

Between coming-of-age movies depicted by deceptively old actors and rom-coms that try to make you believe the main character could have a lucrative career in the publishing industry before age twenty-five, pop culture places a lot of emphasis on those early years. If you watch film after film of people finding love, reinventing themselves in a new city and making a name for themselves straight out of college, it may start to feel like that’s the natural progression of everyone’s lives but yours. This sort of thing makes it seem like there’s some cap to the time you can experiment and make mistakes in your life. So, once you reach thirty you need to settle down, join the corporate machinery and start going to jazz brunch for fun until you die, I guess.

Add on to all of that stress of your supposed physical peak, for women especially. The age in which women are seen to be most attractive is astonishingly low. According to a study covered in The New York Times assessing dating app use by heterosexual people, a woman’s desirability peaks at 18 and falls steadily from there. So the moment we become legal, it’s just a ticking clock counting down until our sexual obsolescence. Whether you want to blame this on reproductive biology or near-pedophilic beauty standards, it’s enough to make you gag.

I know simply saying something is a “social construct” doesn’t do much to liberate people from their actual anxieties, but it is true that this timer put on your life is completely arbitrary. Whether it’s in relationships, career or just being a bit of a mess, it’s nearly impossible to fit that all into one decade, and why would you want to? While, yes, many amazing and identity-forming things will happen to you in your early twenties, that doesn’t mean they automatically need to stop at a certain age.

Our culture’s focus on youth stifles us from enjoying the fullness of life in our later years. I hope to continue to be curious and a bit chaotic well into my last years on this planet. Yes, I want a stable job and to not eat as much instant ramen as I currently do, but I’m done putting a fixed date on when this era of my life needs to end.

Graphic by Taylor Reddam

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