bacon – The Concordian

New specialty bacon restaurant on Beaubien Street is better in theory than in practice

Ah, bacon: the food that transcends simple culinary appreciation. Bacon has become an internet and cultural phenomenon, with bacon bookmarks, bacon t-shirts and – at long last – bacon bars.

In theory, Bar Brutus’s local beer, good cocktails and bacon as far as the eye can see sound like a dream come true. Decorated as it is with a vibe devoted to old barber shops, and having a monopoly over Quebec’s bacon vodka supply, you’d think it would be hard to dislike Brutus.

But somehow, they managed to make it possible.

Walking in, the bar is absolutely beautiful. The ceiling is covered in stylized tin tiles, with exposed brick along one wall, hardwood floors and beautiful antique lamps hanging from the ceiling. The exposed vents give a touch of that modern, industrial look. Topped off with warm lighting and purple accents, Bar Brutus is a gorgeous establishment.

Unfortunately, that is where my appreciation ended.

If the first thing you notice is the stunning décor, then the second is the noise. I’m no amateur when it comes to bars, but last time I checked, blaring music was typically reserved for clubs. I don’t think I would have been so bothered if the music fit the bar’s gentlemanly vibe – Classical? Jazz? 1960s crooners? – but what I got instead was pop and club music. After we were seated, my companion and I each had to lean halfway over the thin table to hear each other – and even then, it was touch and go.

Know what made it even worse? Screaming. Apparently, Bar Brutus has private rooms in the back. I don’t know what was happening back there, but every couple of minutes a chorus of women would start to holler. Imagine what a drunken bachelorette party must sound like, and you have a reasonable approximation. In a small bar like that, the sound was impossible to escape. Why the management didn’t ask them to be quiet, I will never know.

Still, with bacon waiting for us, we were not to be deterred. We ordered three main courses for the two of us: the KD balls, the bacon sushi and their famous Jaegermeister poutine.

Unfortunately, I felt that all three could be summed up in a single word: average. The KD balls (made of deep fried macaroni and cheese) was simply what was advertised. The quality of the mac ‘n cheese wasn’t great, and made me wish they had used actual Kraft Dinner.

The bacon sushi was the dish I was particularly excited for, but I was disappointed to find the bacon was pink and nearly raw. In addition, none of the ingredients inside the sushi had been changed to complement the bacon: shockingly, raw bacon and traditional Japanese ingredients don’t go well together.

As for the poutine – well, I can think of many places in Montreal where you can get a better one. The sauce tasted a little too strongly of Jaegermeister for me, and the cheese curds were too sparse. I couldn’t even taste the bacon that was supposedly inside.

Each main course was $10, tax included, and the drinks were affordable (although a Coke will run you $5). With the exception of my waitress, the wait staff seemed extremely competent, and I often relied on them, flagging them down to take my order. I only met my waitress when she brought me the bill, and then she was surly and rude.

All in all, I was happy to stumble back outside onto Beaubien. I don’t think I will ever return to Bar Brutus – they, simply put, did not bring home the bacon.

Bar Brutus is located at 1290 Rue Beaubien E.

In light of Epic Meal Time’s wild success, the People’s Potato is turning their vegan kitchen into a meat-friendly zone.

“The pressure was too much and we needed to meet the growing demand for bacon,” said Wilbur Gammon, a chef at the People’s Potato. “Before the videos came out, I had not eaten meat for 17 years and now it’s part of my daily diet.”

Switching over the kitchen was difficult, as serving meat goes against everything the soup kitchen has written in their constitution. In order to both serve bacon and meet their mission statement criteria, which includes challenging corporate involvement in food production and distribution, the worker-run collective has decided to start breeding pigs in the university’s greenhouse.

“You might be thinking space is limited up there, and it is,” says Gammon. “But we are vying for a fee levy in this week’s elections in order to build 10 additional pens.”

Surprisingly, the Your Action slate, known bacon-lovers, have endorsed the fee levy. They both said there is no way to justify the high fees in breeding pigs at school when much cheaper alternatives, like buying the cast-offs from the slaughterhouses, exist.

Gammon admits that it has been hard to get people on board to support the initiative and says one of the biggest struggles is actually serving the bacon-eaters. Something that is hard because of the swarms of protesters that line up in front of the People’s Potato.

Earlier today, protesters were seen carrying signs that read “Bacon = murder!” and “Pigs are people too!” While the individuals picketing would not identify themselves, there has been speculation that they are affiliated with one of the CSU slates, though no one would say which and whether this rumour was true. Some even claim no protesters protested at all.

“I was at the People’s Potato for lunch yesterday and the only people there were eating,” said Anon Ymous. “At one point though someone did yell for more bacon, but that was it.”

Members of YouTube sensation Epic Meal Time are proud of their show’s success and the influence it has had on their community. When asked about their most glorious moment they said, “Being on Jay Leno was awesome, but starting “protests” at Concordia is so much cooler.”

They would not speak to the speculation of a future episode being filmed at the People’s Potato but did say that if they were ever to film there, they would show the collective who the real “Sauce Boss” is.

While Gammon feels badly for the vegans who will now starve to death due to the changes within the kitchen, he feels worse for himself.

“Adding meat back into my diet has not been easy on my [hipster] reputation,” said Gammon “But, I have begun growing dreadlocks in hopes of maintaining my credibility.”