Categories
Music

Death and decay: our fascination with zombies

American poet Langston Hughes once claimed that “life is for the living, death is for the dead, let life be like music. And death a note unsaid.” But what about a darker piece of music, a more sinister sound?

Musicians like Alice Cooper, Rob Zombie, and Marilyn Manson embody the zombie persona on stage. Photo from Flickr Creative Commons user Simaron.

Musicians have been compelled to integrate the undead into their work for generations. From pop mainstays like Michael Jackson’s iconic “Thriller” to genres that thrive on the dark and sadistic, such as black metal, zombies are an element that music has not shied away from.

To understand why musicians glorify zombies, we must understand why the undead captivate our imaginations. To do so, we must understand why the concept of the zombie exists in the first place.

Society is meant to fear zombies. One possible explanation could be that the modern zombie represents what people fear most: becoming a brain dead and anonymous follower with no free will.

The zombie would therefore represent the death of our individuality. They also bring up the idea of mortality; the ultimate unsatisfying ending that all things living must meet.

Why would some of the most creative and individualistic members of the artistic community choose to conjure up such imagery?

Music has often confronted many of the most primal and relatable of themes: love, loss, freedom and of course, fear. By exploring what humans fear, musicians attempt to bring what is unfamiliar and uncertain to center stage. One needs only to look at Alice Cooper, Rob Zombie or Marilyn Manson to see entire musical careers based on the macabre as they attempt to walk—and sometimes completely step over—the line of the audience’s comfort level.

By making the majority of listeners uncomfortable, these three veterans found a whole following of those who already felt misunderstood and on the fringes of society.

Death has been approached in a wide variety of ways. From sad ballads about the passing of a loved one, perhaps like The Beatles’ “Yesterday,” to the uncertainty of life in its closing moments, such as “Searching for a Former Clarity” by Against Me!, songs about death can be written by artists for therapeutic reasons, in tribute to someone they lost or as a welcoming to what they believe awaits them after death.

“Music itself is an art about time, and every piece of music contains in itself the ineluctability of its ending,” said Georges Dimitrov, an assistant professor in Concordia’s Music department.

Music, like human life, must at some point come to an end. It is an art form that is inherently and constantly changing. A musician must accept the finality of their song and may choose to emphasize its ending to highlight its importance.

To use zombies in one’s work is to mock death itself by showing no fear in the face of limited time. By becoming what most people fear, these musicians transcend the mundane and enter the realm of the supernatural.

 

Categories
Student Life

My Day in the Life of a Zombie

Waking up tired from staying up a bit too late on Friday night, I felt like I was already getting into character for the zombie walk. Though I had intended to plan a costume days earlier, I looked through my drawers, found some clothes I had been meaning to mend, and decided that they would become part of my zombie costume.

Zombie jogger, Jade Adams, before taking to the streets for the Montreal Zombie Walk

I remembered I had a pair of black tights and a t-shirt that I had been intending to get rid off, but instead made into my outfit for the zombie walk. Since the clothes were a little plain, I smeared on some skin and blood makeup from the dollar store, sprayed on a little too much hairspray, and applied excessive amounts of dark eye makeup.I added some old running shoes, a headband, and a stopwatch so I could build my character: a zombie jogger!

Finally, within an hour and with under ten dollars spent on a costume, I had gone from half asleep morning zombie to a blood covered, flesh-eating zombie.

On my way to the metro to meet up with friends, I got a few weird looks, but was also greeted by some little kids waving at me, and chanting, “Zombie! Zombie!” The looks and interest in my new zombie look continued until we reached the thousands of other zombies hanging around Place des Festivals. Here, my friends and I found our kin. Until the walk started, we spent our time checking out all of the other costumes, and trying to figure out where and when the walk would start. Though it was supposed to start at 3:00, everyone started slowly trudging down de Maisonneuve around 3:30.

As more and more zombies poured into the streets, we were all slowed down by the hundreds of cameras. It took a while before the flashes slowed, but soon the hoards of zombies spilled out onto the street to walk at a more leisurely pace. This was when the real fun started. Instead of posing for pictures, groups of zombies began to moan, climb scaffolding, and bang on the windows of buildings, bus booths, and phone booths. Unknowing citizens both on the streets and in buildings, could surely hear the cries of the undead from blocks away, while others looked down from their hotel rooms to see thousands of zombies reaching up towards them with bloody hands.

Even as a zombie myself, some of my undead associates were really giving me the creeps. More than a few times, I would look to my side to see someone with rotting flesh and blood staring at me as they lurched forward. Just like reading books about zombies or watching movies, the scariest thing about a hoard of zombies is their sheer numbers, and the resemblance zombies maintain to their once living selves. Throughout the walk, I saw zombie nurses, doctors, postal workers, business executives, and families. In contrast to other figures of horror, the zombie really could be anyone, including someone you once knew or loved.

 

Categories
Opinions

A love affair with death, brains, gore, and the apocalypse

So what’s the deal with zombies? Why have they, for the past few decades, been moaning and limping their way to fame? Why did the Center for Disease Control feel the need to post a blog entry on how to survive the zombie apocalypse, and why was it so popular that it crashed the servers? Not to mention all the movies, books, television shows, graphic novels and video games. What’s got people so caught up in this trend?

Graphic Jenny Kwan

Zombies have been on the rise for quite a while, with popular movies like Zombieland, 28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead (to name very few), video games Left 4 Dead and The Last of Us, and of course The Walking Dead TV series adapted from the graphic novel. Why do we have such a fascination with the undead?

A case can be made that we are all engaged in the social commentaries that these films are making. George A. Romero, the arguable master of zombie flicks and original creator of films such as Night of the Living Dead and The Crazies, is often viewed as making a statement on the government and the general human condition with his movies.

The Resident Evil series, originally a video game and later adapted into films, blames ‘The Umbrella Corporation’ — a giant conglomerate experimenting with genetic engineering and biological weaponry — for the outbreak that leads to the fall of society.

Much is being said by The Walking Dead of the animalistic nature of man and the horrible things we cannot walk away from, but also of humanity’s ultimate ability to survive.

These stories often speak to a dissatisfaction with the government, which is often discussed by many, but publicly and grandly voiced by few. They may also speak to the lack of humanity some are seeing in this generation, where politeness has become such a rare quality, and selfishness, distrust, and violence are becoming more prominent.

There are also many people out there looking at the comedic aspect of a world fallen to savagery. As the movie Zombieland states, “enjoy the little things.” Even in a living hell, there can be an upside. As we see in both Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead, there’s the romantic possibility of winning over the girl.

Perhaps it is because we are simply unhappy with the current state of living.Immersing ourselves in the idea of a zombie apocalypse allows us to temporarily escape from today. Formulating an intricate zombie survival plan, and imagining how one will survive, can perhaps give us the fantastical chance to be the hero we strive to be, but fall short of attaining in reality.

It may just be that we enjoy the action and gore, but whatever it is, there is no sign of the zombie fad fading any time soon. But just for good measure, it can’t hurt to keep your knives sharp, and a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide close by.

Categories
Music

Super zombie band, The Macabre, will turn your world upside down

Graphic by Jenny Kwan

In the spirit of the Halloween season, The Concordian did some digging in musical graveyards and assembled a supergroup of the undead.

Our ensemble is a four-piece set, featuring a drummer, vocalist, guitarist, and bassist to form the chilling and thrilling zombie band, The Macabre. The band members will give you smoother material, but will nevertheless rock out, and most importantly, will make you want to sing along to their music and repeat their tunes over and over again.

Without further ado, we present to you The Macabre:

Freddie Mercury

As the frontman of Queen, Mercury delivered timeless classics with passion and excitement making it hard to not get caught up in any Queen song that plays. Being a zombie would hardly keep Mercury down. Zombies are usually droning slow-moving creatures; Mercury would be the liveliest zombie rock star them all.

Honourable mention: Michael Jackson. Jackson outgrew the whole band concept once he reached puberty. That being said, seeing zombie MJ perform the “Thriller” dance would be worth the highly inflated price of admission.

Jimi Hendrix

Hendrix will give the band its rocking and psychedelic image. While Mercury will command the crowd with his presence, Hendrix will often steal the show with his guitar skills. Give him a few guitar solos and soon we’ll be debating who the greatest guitarist ever is: ‘real’ Jimi Hendrix or ‘zombie’ Jimi Hendrix.

Keith Moon

The drummer of The Who had a reputation for being reckless with the drums —amongst other things—yet his drumming will forever have a place in music history and opening sequences of the various CSI TV shows. If any of his limbs fall off from drumming too hard, he will likely keep on drumming and tape them back on during the set. It’s all done for the love of Rock’ n’ Roll.

Rick James

If you have to double take at his name,you probably haven’t watched enough of comedian Dave Chappelle’s sketches. The man behind songs like “Super Freak” (MC Hammer would later sample it for “U Can’t Touch This”) and “Give It To Me Baby,” James can provide background vocals and kill it on bass. He might also have the best stories to share while on tour.

 

Categories
Opinions

Zombie apocalypse level: hide-and-seek

You would be ill informed if you said it was nonsense and perhaps ill advised if you still haven’t taken the necessary precautions when it does come. Despite the fact that it may seem childish and untrue, it is only a matter of time before the zombie apocalypse does terrorize our planet. Now, we may still have some time, but like many fearful Americans during the Cold War, we too should take exaggerated precautions to survive our most dangerous war yet.

Graphic by Jenny Kwan

For now, here is a list of the 10 best places to hide and survive when the zombie apocalypse hits Montreal.

1. Prison

Yes, maybe I have been watching too much of The Walking Dead, but who are you to judge? It’s an excellent simulation of what our world would become when subjected to these ruthless beings. That being said, I think a prison camp, such as the one on Montreal’s North Shore, would be a good place to shotgun. The already established high security as well as access to food and water, and more importantly, heavy artillery, heighten your chances of survival.

2. Costco

If you asked 100 people where they would hide during a zombie apocalypse, 98 would say Costco. They make a valid point. Costco is a vast market that sells basically anything you would need to live there permanently — survival 101. However, it may be easy for zombies to gain access to the lower floors. Therefore, I would suggest building a fortress with all of your necessary products on one of the shelves, like Dane Cook and his buddies did in the mediocre comedy, Employee of the Month.

3. Wal-Mart

Similar to Costco, Wal-Mart would also be an excellent place to settle when the worst comes. As an avid zombie connoisseur, I’m ready to take it a step further: Wal-Mart in Plattsburg, New York. Why there? Well, Plattsburg is home to the closest Wal-Mart south of the border. Let’s be honest, if you were trying to survive something as dangerous as zombies, you’d probably want to be in an American Wal-Mart, where access to food and necessities is doubled. And let’s not forget guns, lots of guns.

4. Pierre Elliot Trudeau Airport.

The mere size of the airport is enough to make it a gem of a hiding spot. There is access to food, as well as weapons and ammo taken from the numerous security guards. However, what I really like about the airport is the diversity in hiding. If ever you need a plan B, you can simply find refuge in an abandoned airplane, hide in the cockpit, and use tramcars for occasional food and ammo runs.

5. Police Station

Please be warned: not all police stations would be suitable for zombie survival. For starters, most are badly located in the busiest parts of town and might already be infested beyond cleansing. That being said, a well-located police station would be a good place to start. Guns would be at hand, as well as other weapons, and in times of serious desperation, when all hope seems lost, you can lock yourself up in the mini-prison cell they have in most stations and fight your way out safely from there.

6. Hall Building

This is the only valid reason to go back to school during a zombie takeover. This 13-floor massive structure on de Maisonneuve St. can be an ingenious spot if necessary steps are taken to make it impenetrable. First, block all access to the higher floors however you can. Then, proceed to take the elevator to the highest floor with all of your necessities. Make your home there, while making sure you find a way to keep the elevator on your floor. When runs are necessary, take the elevator down cautiously.

7. Cinemas Guzzo – Marché Central

What’s unique about this particular movie theatre is that it’s on a second floor. The only way to access it is through escalators at the front of the theatre. In similar fashion to the Hall Building scenario, block off the entrance completely. You then have a few options, like making a home in one of the movie rooms, on the top floor, preferably. Also, you’ll have access to the wonderful cinematic experience Guzzo offers while blood-thirsty zombies are at your doorstep looking for your head.

8. McDonald’s playground

This may seem like an odd suggestion at first, but think of the possibilities: barricading yourself in this glass room, climbing on top of the jungle of fun and having a 360-degree view of your surroundings. Nothing says ‘safe’ like having eyes everywhere, and that’s what McDonald’s can give you. They also have fries.

9. St. Joseph’s Oratory

Considered one of the most majestic structures in Montreal, the oratory is advantageous to the hider for many reasons. First, it’s situated on a hill, making it difficult for slow moving zombies to get there. Also, if in possession of a sniper, which I suggest, the dome of the oratory offers an excellent shooting point for some long distance zombie killing. With adequate barricading at key points, the oratory would be an excellent stronghold for quite a few people.

10. Laval

Simple, because nobody likes going to Laval. Nobody.

Please make sure you print this out and hold a copy at all times. The time has come for mankind to defend itself against its biggest foe yet. Let’s make sure we’re prepared, and let the games begin!

Categories
Music

Top 10 – Zombie apocalypse songs

So, the zombies are taking over and all you have is your iPod — or music player of your choice — to keep you company. We all have those ideal songs we would go to in order to block out the moaning and groaning, and to give us to motivation and strength to kick undead ass.

These songs may give you that feeling, that boost, and maybe even that sense of normalcy during the most dangerous moments of your life.

1. “Zombie” – The Cranberries

OK, this is the first song that may pop into a lot of people’s minds. Whether you prefer the Cranberries rendition, or that of Ed Helms on The Office, this is a great song to open the scene. Zombies, zombies are everywhere. What is happening?

2. “Move Bitch” – Ludacris

So now you start realizing that people are really getting aggressive and all up in your personal space, trying to eat your brains and whatnot. You’re not down with this. No way. It’s time to rustle some bones.

3. “Radioactive” – Imagine Dragons

This is it. You realize that it is do or die, and shizz is getting real — real scary. This is where you start using the rules that Zombieland taught you. Double Tap, always remember the Double Tap.

4. “Uprising” – Muse

Don’t let them fat-cat corporate zombies get to you, you need to keep fighting, band together with other real humans. Don’t approach the babies or the kittens as they are traps set to lure you into a feast where you’re the main course. They cannot control you.

5. “Sail” – AWOLNATION

You’re still kicking zombie butt, but you’re getting worried. You just want it to end, and for things to go back to normal, but you cannot control that right now. So keep crackin’ them mushy skulls.

6. “Midnight City” – M83

Warm Bodies anyone? It’s nighttime now, and you’re perusing the dangerous and barely-lit streets, the sounds of screaming can be heard over your music. You walk cautiously.

7. “The Funeral” – Band of Horses

It’s dark, cold and you’re alone. You’ve been separated from all your friends and family as well as your cat, who was bitten and you’re pretty sure is responsible for most of the epidemic. You knew Misfits was educational. You’re close to giving up.

8. “Death and All of His Friends” – Coldplay

No. You’re not a quitter. Get up, you idiot. You’re a kick-ass zombie fighter. Buffy, Sam and Dean- they got nothing on you and the supernatural. You’re determined to get your life back. You “don’t want to follow death and all of his friends.”

9. “The Rapture” – Echoes

You walked into the wrong part of town. You’re completely surrounded. You see your aunt Janie, your best friend Morgan, and your mom — she’s holding Mr. Pickles, your zombie feline. They are coming in from all angles, you cannot escape. You’re out of ammo. This is it.

10. “L’Absente” – Yann Tiersen

You’ve been bitten. You tried your best and there was nothing you could do. You were impossibly surrounded and now you must wait to see what happens. Life is slowly being taken away from you as you join the crowd of moaning, groaning, and decaying flesh. Your life flashes before your eyes and you listen to this song, its ups & downs, the highs and lows.

Now get the hell out of the shower, you just spent an hour imagining a zombie apocalypse while listening to music and you’re late for your class. Your cat is acting really strange though…

Categories
Arts

Poet’s Corner – Zombie Students’ Confession

Up all night, dead by day,

among the crowds,

numbered me,

among the masses,

walking demonic snails,

forget creative deeds.

Zombie culture,

yearning to be one among none,

laptop, phone I’m a drone.

Staggering, stale empty mind,

Student zombie hunting brain,

Mindless knowledge worth change,

Graduated zombie,

Searching unnamed tombstone,

Now where’s my desk?

Categories
Opinions

From our kitchen: Broken Glass Jell-O — zombie edition!

Photo by Casandra De Masi

Here is what you need:

 – 4 packs of Jell-O or any other fruit gelatin brand (colours are up to you, for zombie I would use green, red, orange.)

– 2 packs of clear unflavoured gelatin

– 1 can eagle brand condensed milk

– A 9×13 inch pan (I use a clear casserole, as it goes in the fridge)

– 4 plastic contains, medium sized (for your Jell-o)

Instructions

1. Make your four packs of Jell-O, and when done, separate the colours into four containers. Let them chill in fridge.

2. Once the Jell-O is set, cut it up into medium sized cubes. Dump the cubes into your pan.

3. In a separate bowl, mix together two packets of clear unflavoured gelatin and half a cup of cold water.

4. In the same bowl, add in about 2 cups of hot water. Stir.

5. Once stirred, add your can of condensed milk and mix together. Let it cool in the fridge for a while. I usually leave it for about 30 minutes.

6. Once cooled, take your milk and gelatin mix and slowly pour it over the Jell-O cubes in your pan. Put the pan in the fridge and let it cool overnight.

In the morning, you’ll be able to cut your gelatin treat into cubes or any shape you want. You can even break it up unevenly and say it is zombie brains/guts! YUM!

 

Categories
Opinions

The Concordian has caught zombie fever

Of all the ways the world could end, a zombie takeover is low on the list of probabilities. Natural disasters, global warming and nuclear destruction, all seem far more likely possibilities.

However, popular culture in the last few years seems especially taken with the notion of a zombie apocalypse; which is why, in light of the popular annual Zombie Walk, The Concordian thought we would take this opportunity to explore the many ways the theme of the undead can be presented.

We looked at how zombies have become a trend in popular culture, including films, movies and television shows, as well as how the idea of death and the macabre has become prominent in music. We created our own zombie band and explored our own zombie narratives through poetry and fiction.

Members of The Concordian attended the Zombie Walk and recorded their experience as photographers and participants.

Finally, we assembled a creative list of places that people of Montreal can go to in case of a zombie invasion.

While we explored a myriad of topics related to zombies, we neglected one key subject: the zombie culture at Concordia.

Slack-jawed students hunch over textbooks; eyes glazed, students sit in front of computers or their television sets; heads drooping, they sit in lecture halls; crookedly they lurch home from bars; hungrily they eye human flesh.

Thousands of people might have costumed themselves to look as though they’d returned from the dead on Saturday, but if we look closely at ourselves, our habits often closely resemble those attributed to the undead of television, film and literature.

All of us are alive, biologically speaking, and yet many of us lumber through life as though we were powered solely by some supernatural force that kept our limbs moving but our hearts still.

As students we are overwhelmed with work, especially around midterms, which often leaves us listless (as outlined above). However, it doesn’t have to be this way. In any zombie conception there are always those who resist. We students must resist becoming zombies as a result of our school work. We are not dead yet, so let’s not act like it.

We hope that this issue will allow you to look at different ways zombie-ism manifests itself in our culture as well as awaken you to your own zombie-ness.

 

Categories
Student Life

Annual zombie apocalypse overruns Montreal

Photo by Keith Race

It started, as most zombie apocalypses do, on the metro.

A dead stare here, some ragged clothes there, some blood dribbling down the little boy’s chin in the corner. Fortunately for the living the transiting zombies weren’t a sign of end times; just the Roussel family heading to the Montreal Zombie Walk at Place Des Festivals on Saturday.

The Montreal Zombie Walk is an organized public gathering where participants walk around dressed as zombies. The first official “zombie walk” happened in October 2003 in Toronto. After an exponential gain in popularity for zombies during the mid-to-late 2000s, zombie walks began to emerge around the world. Montreal finally decided to host it’s own in 2009, drawing in larger and scarier crowds each coming year.

Stepping off the Metro and into a crowd of moaning, shrieking and groaning undead was enough to put me on edge, but three-month-old Romy Langevin stared out at the crowd unbothered as her zombie dad tried to eat her brains.

“She just loves to be in the baby carrier,” said Pascal Langevin, fitting the zombie teeth soother back into his daughter’s mouth. Everyone, even kids, are welcomed at the walk.

Another first-time walker was surveying the zombie horde from atop a small hill.

“I can’t wait to send a picture of myself to my daughters in Italy,” said tourist Lory Mondani, gesturing to her zombified face. It goes without saying that dressing up is highly recommended.

Photo by Michelle Gamage

“I am crazier than them, for sure. They would never be so brave to come here and do what I am doing now.” Her daughters would no doubt also be impressed with the level of creativity and dedication some zombies put into their looks, she added. All participants can be “zombified” at the on site make-up tent from noon to 3:00 p.m. at the cost of $15.

Amidst the 1,500-something strong zombie horde just one hero stood tall.

Deputy Rick Grimes rode his horse Spirit through the crowd, unphased by the undead packed close around him.

Always the zombie hunter and never the hunted, Charles Colnet is a three-year veteran of the Montreal Zombie Walk.

“The first time I was a cowboy and then the second, and now the third, time I [am] the sheriff,” said Colnet, adding each year he tries to add new accessories to keep his costume original.

This year the sheriff backpack he built himself was playing the sound of Spirit’s hoofbeats as he galloped off into the crowd, only pausing for quick fan photos along the way.

But he wasn’t the only Walking Dead character around. My favourite costume of the day was Michonne, walking like a badass with her two armless and jawless zombies chained to her side.

Eventually the zombies lurched off in a similar direction as the walk got underway around 3 p.m.

Bothered by the screaming walkers, I decided to head for higher ground after an undead bride started chewing on my hair and muttering how I looked good enough to eat.

But that just meant I had zombies clawing at my ankles and screaming “brains” as they reached up towards me and my camera while I stood on top of a cement pylon.

A guy with an “I’ve-seen-this-all-before” expression walked past with a picket sign that read, “The End Is Nigh,” and surrounded by screeching and twitching undead, I couldn’t help but agree.

The only upside to my imminent doom was seeing Colnet still charging through the crowd and noticing the one guy who dressed up as an elephant to photobomb the zombies waving up at me.

 

With files by Sabrina Giancioppi

 

Photos by Keith Race and Michelle Gamage

Categories
Arts

When zombies attack Concordia

You are sitting in class, waiting for the professor to hand back your assignment: the one you spent hours tweaking with coffee and peppermint tea until someone bangs on the door. You keep your eyes down on your paper and wait for your neighbour to get up. They scream. A zombie’s bit them.

Next thing you know a horde of biters shuffle into the classroom and start attacking peers, chewing their faces off. You slip out the back door and dodge the walkers in the hallway. Hopefully, you aren’t stuck on the tenth floor so you manage to get out of the Hall Building. Now what?

City outbreaks are the worst. Car alarms are blaring. People are running and fending off zombies with their backpacks and trying to climb up on the rooftops, but the staircases around campus are blocked off.

Just keep your head on a swivel. The Walking Dead have their prison; you’ve got The Grey Nuns Residence.

The residence can house over 200 students and is protected by an iron fence. You can use the park to grow your own sprouts and micro-greens year-round, and the desks and chairs and bookcases to arm up and prepare for a zombie ambush. There are even kitchenettes with coffee makers if anyone happens to raid out Tim Hortons on the way.

Fighters, go for the brain. If you can’t fight, bang on the fence to distract the undead.

“Stay tight, hold formation no matter how close the walkers get,” says Rick (S.3 Ep.2). “If anyone breaks ranks, we could all go down.”

Believe it or not, Concordia University has prepared us to survive through a zombie apocalypse. Most of the engineering students, the good ones anyways, will be an asset to the team. How many times do the lights go off when they are most needed? Electrical engineers will keep our residence up and running 24/7. Mechanical engineers are the masters of momentum, energy and heat transfer.

“Do you need a flamethrower? Do you need a machine gun? With their knowledge, mechanical engineers are weapons of destruction,” says Hao Yin, an electrical engineer.

English and History students wouldn’t be entirely useless so long as they have read or seen any zombie-related material. Except Warm Bodies. You’re trying to survive, not fornicate. Unless you stopped by the Queer Concordia office and got some free condoms. Remember kids: zombie apocalypse or no, practice safe sex.

Andrea Sun, former student, says she would burn her books for kindling and dissuade the group from making “fatally cliché mistakes.”

Students can also manage their stress under tight deadlines, and pull all-nighters.

“I’ve learned to expect little-to-no-sleep, so I’d be great for things like night watches,” says Domenica Martinello, creative writing and English literature student.

The exercise science department would know how to treat minor injuries like sprained ankles. Maybe even have the courage to amputate an infected limb. Or you could just go to McGill and get a real doctor.

We will need students from the greenhouse and People’s Potato if you want proper nutrition from our urban garden. Stingers to help fight back the zombie hordes. Psychology and biology students to keep ourselves from losing hope. Even philosophy majors would play a vital role because, let’s face it: zombies need to eat.

Be a hero. Odds are you won’t last very long as a supporting character. Once the area is safe, you can claim your single or double bedroom, and start being suspicious of other survivors who want to be part of ‘the group.’

Those who do not have their student I.D. cards will have to answer these questions:

Have you been bitten?

What is your major?

How many people have you killed?

Categories
Opinions

He said, she said: Halloween costumes in 2012

Graphic by Jennifer Kwan.

We want you to remember what Halloween costumes are all about, so here’s our take on the difference between men’s and women’s costumes:

Women’s costumes: slutty is the new sexy
by Paula Rivas

You’ve seen it in all the teen movies, Halloween is that one time of the year when it’s socially acceptable for ladies to dress down and there is no doubt that it gets worse and worse every year.

It feels like girls nowadays are looking towards Halloween costumes that are more and more outrageous. I have seen it all, from the emergence of touchy costumes that mock cultures to the creation of sexier and sexier costumes for young women. Let’s not forget how some girls will compare and judge each other even more than is already happening in the ferocious jungle of the girl world.

Don’t get me wrong, women do occasionally come up with hilarious and innovative costumes. Unfortunately these costumes aren’t on display anywhere. Upon entering a Halloween store, all we can see is different characters in slutty outfits.

Lena Haddad has been working at a Halloween store in Montreal for the last three years, seasonally. She says that she sees the same patterns in costume buying for women.

“Look at the wall, it’s every costume possible, made into a slutty dress,” she said. “I’d say about nine in 10 women looking for a costume here end up picking one that shows a lot of skin.”

My question is this: why do we insist on squeezing into skin-tight thigh-high stockings and tiny dresses in the freezing autumn air, spending $60 or more on a piece of cloth that you will only wear once? Girls, it’s time to change it up.

I once entered a party exactly like the one portrayed in the movie Mean Girls, where the guys dressed up as beer kegs, political figures and one even came as a penguin! Meanwhile, the girls primped, plucked and stuffed themselves like turkeys on Thanksgiving only to show up as sexy police officers and sexy nurses.At this party a catfight broke out over a girl (dressed as a sexy firefighter) insulting another girl (dressed as a sexy boxer) for looking too “skanky.” Talk about ridiculous. They spent about half an hour analyzing and yelling at each other over what they were wearing while the Halloween party went to waste . . . all because of a costume.On a tireless search for originality in women’s Halloween costumes, the other day I was browsing costumes online when I stopped in shock to see a new costume which has been created for us girls. To my horror, I was looking at a “sexy burka” costume sold for $49.85. A girl was dressed in the traditional style black burka, but everything else was a different story — she was wearing a tiny black matching dress exposing cleavage and legs but only leaving a slit for the eyes on the face.

This is not only offensive, but makes me embarrassed to say that this is the western culture of today, mocking other cultures through this candy-crazed festivity.I think it is time to step away from the herd and try something different this Halloween. This year let’s try to lay off the racy costumes and embrace original and hilarious costumes such as Princess Leia or Veronica Corningstone. Trust me, you will win more high-fives wearing these classic costumes than if you show up in an outfit that looks like it could fit a toddler.

Men’s costumes: go funny or go home
George MenexisEven as we get older, students somehow still feel the need to dress up on a frosty Halloween night. It’s a part of our childhood that we are slow to let go of.

Because it is such an important part of the year, we need to learn to do it justice. Halloween is a time of imitation and creativity. It’s a time to think of the extreme and to try and find a costume that really exceeds all expectations. It’s a time to be competitive with your friends as to who can come up with the dumbest costumes. To dress up as something original instead of wasting $100 at overrated Halloween stores. As a Halloween admirer and costume-lover, I’ve been bitterly disappointed by what I’ve seen the past few years. Men, like their female counterparts, are lacking imagination.

Let’s not lie to each other boys, we’ve been doing the same thing year after year. It’s no wonder we find doubles and triples of stupid characters these days. “The Situation” from reality T.V. show Jersey Shore, a cowboy or a nerd. It’s getting way too repetitive.

Look around you. The world is filled with inspirational people, objects and ideas.

Here is one of my favorite Halloween costumes that would stick out in 2012: the other day, I saw a kid in a ice cream truck that was made out of cardboard, with the kid walking in it acting as the ice cream man. If a toddler can do that, imagine what us young adults would be able to do.

I think the secret to a good Halloween costume is to make it yourself. You just can’t find what you want at a Halloween store. Also, making your costume at home is much funner than it sounds. Imagine walking around your house, looking at pieces of clothing and random objects you see everyday, inspiring yourself to make a costume out of these. It’s a project everyone should attempt once in their lives. You’ve become an artists attempting to do this, and I tell you, it’s a great feeling trying on your somewhat ridiculous looking work of art.

Lena Haddad has worked at a Halloween store seasonally for three years and said that most of the costumes stay the same year after year.

“People are always interested in the same stuff, from what I see,” said Haddad. “It’s always the same costumes that sell out fast, and the same ones that stay on the shelf year after year.”

There’s been a lack of imagination, it’s no secret. That being said, I do think men’s costumes have become the pioneer of innovative, new Halloween costumes. Year after year, party after party, I find myself laughing at something a guy was wearing. From bananas to parisiens to presidential candidates, variety is something that is somewhat present in men’s costumes, but there’s still a long way to go.

My advice to all: Halloween is a time of invention, so this year go out there and be different. Start by looking in the deep confines of your closet to see what you could whip up. I swear you won’t be disappointed.

TOP 5 HALLOWEEN COSTUMES IN 2012:

1. Get a cardboard box and cut it round. Big enough so that your head can be smaller than the circle. On the circle, write 25 cents on the top. This is the good part. You need to dress as the Queen of England. That’s right, the Queen of England. Take the cardboard, stick it behind your head and there you go, you are the Queen of England’s face on a Canadian quarter.

2. This one’s going to make you giggle inside. Get an enormous white paper and cut a square hole in it for your face. You’re going to become a Youtube clip. Write Youtube on the top, or print it for a more legitimate look. As for the caption, get imaginative. You can write stuff like “sexiest man on earth” or “the honey badger, ‘Gangnam Style’”.

3. Who has become one of the biggest symbols of manliness to our generation? That’s right, the Dos Equis man. Get an empty Dos Equis bottle and walk around with it all night. The rest is simple: fake white beard, nice suit and you’ve become a legend.

4. One of the better ones I’ve seen in a while, and also very simple to make. Dress as a woman if you’re a man, or dress normally if you’re a woman. Get a fake baby and either carry it or attach it to your stomach. Now, print a face sized picture of Angelina Jolie’s face. Genius!

5. Let us go to the extreme here. This is especially crazy for those of you that have a full set of hair and want to go a little bit crazy. Shave your head, I don’t want to see one stray hair. Shave it. Get red and yellow drapes and cut them in the form of robes. Simply put, you’ve become a monk.

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