Categories
Arts

Examining the socio-political influences behind Night of the Living Dead

The evil now resides within our own region and we ourselves are the threat

In the immensely vast and expansive canon of the horror genre, there are perhaps few films as significant as George A. Romero’s 1968 landmark title Night of the Living Dead.

Romero’s first ever feature-length film was responsible for the creation of the modern day zombie; the shuffling, re-animated, flesh-eating ghoul killed only by a blow to the head. The filmmakers’ gritty, uncompromising vision helped usher in a new wave of horror films that shifted their focus from the fantastical to the more realistic, grounded and gruesome.

Night of the Living Dead was released at the tail end of a decade marked by cultural phenomena and paints an acutely unsettling portrait of a country marred by civil unrest. In the years following the film’s release, Romero has spoken extensively on how Night was influenced by the era’s political climate. In a 2010 interview with film critic Peter Keough, Romero called his zombie films “snapshots of the time they were made.”

With Night, Romero set out to provoke and to reflect on the qualms and anxieties of the American public, while simultaneously offering a grim prediction of where things were headed.

The script for Night was developed by Romero and collaborator, John Russo, over the course of three days in 1967. That same year, a series of 159 race riots exploded across the United States in what became known as the “Long, hot summer of 1967.” Concurrently, the Vietnam War continued to rage on, being regularly broadcast to homes across America in vivid, graphic detail. As author Geoff King details in his book New Hollywood Cinema: An Introduction, the image of America as a place of freedom and democracy had been irreparably damaged, and lead to widespread anti-authoritarian and countercultural sentiments across the western world.

The collective impact of these events in a relatively short period of time influenced many filmmakers during the latter half of the decade, Romero included, whose criticisms come across in many of the film’s creative choices and thematic elements. Perhaps most telling of all is Romero’s decision to have the film take place within America. Horror movies prior to Night of the Living Dead had always been set in far-off, unfamiliar lands.

As film critic Robin Wood reflects on in his book Hollywood from Vietnam to Reagan, the foreign threat in horror during this time period suggests that, while evil does exist, it is certainly not American.

In Night, the evil now resides within our own region, we ourselves are the threat. Despite its reputation as the progenitor of zombie films, Night never outright refers to its monsters as “zombies.” 

For Romero, the movie’s ghouls were always intended to be dead neighbours, fellow citizens turned violent. Some, such as critic Douglas Winter, have even drawn parallels between the films’ zombies and soldiers fighting in the Vietnam War; violent, eager to kill and lacking in individuality or moral values. This theory is supported by the filmmakers’ decision to film the movie in black and white, mimicking the realism and grittiness of wartime newsreels.

The socio-political context behind the film has also allowed for readings through the lens of race relations during the 1960s. Of course, lending credence to this interpretation is the casting of Duane Jones, a person of colour, in the film’s lead role. With the Jim Crow laws having been abolished only a few years prior, this was indeed a bold move by the filmmakers.

Though Romero has stated that this decision was merely based on Jones’ acting abilities, having a person of colour in a lead role alongside a cast of white actors was incredibly uncommon at the time.

Night’s ending, in which Ben survives until sunrise only to be killed by a group of vigilante rednecks, remains startling to this day and, as noted by slate.com writer Caetlin Benson-Allott, is shockingly reminiscent of lynch mob photos. Critic Ben Hervey, in his book Night of the Living Dead (BFI Film Classics), states that Romero shot the ending sequence with politics consciously in mind, suggesting that this was a parallel made intentionally.

Over 50 years later, Night of the Living Dead remains a startling depiction of a society at war with itself, one fraught with distress and anger. To dismiss it as your run-of-the-mill zombie affair would be doing the film a great injustice. Romero and company soaked in the influence of a tumultuous time to craft an enduring classic that still has a lot to say. In times as divisive and uncertain as these, Romero’s opus is still as relevant as ever.

Night of the Living Dead is playing at Cinéma Moderne as part of its“Halloween at Cinéma Moderne” series. Screenings take place on Oct. 30 and 31 at 9 p.m. Tickets can be purchased online or at the ticket counter for $11.50. For more details, visit them online at cinemamoderne.com or on location at 5150 St-Laurent Blvd.

 

Graphic by @joeybruceart

Categories
Student Life

Top 10 hair-raising freak accidents

Accidents happen everyday. The coffee spill on your shirt isn’t that unusual, but a beer spill flooding the streets of London? The weirdest accidents are sometimes the most interesting and the ones that leaves us questioning how and why.

 

Flickr photo

1.  Bouncy castle blast

Dreamspace V was an inflatable maze/bouncy castle created to celebrate 10 years of the inflatable attraction’s business during a London festival in 2006. It was all fun and games until a freakishly strong wind got underneath the attraction, unhooked its hinges and caused the entire bouncy castle to take flight 50 feet into the air. It travelled a total of 150 feet, with families still trapped inside, before finally hitting the ground. This unusual incident caused 13 injuries and two deaths. Next time, hire the clown.

2. Crocs on a plane

A somewhat different version than David R. Ellis’s motion picture Snakes on a Plane. A passenger smuggled a crocodile onto a small airline in a sports bag. The scaly beast broke free from the bag and chaos ensued. A freaked out flight attendant ran towards the cockpit and panicked passengers followed, throwing the plane off balance and causing it to crash. 21 people walked into a plane, one guy and a crocodile walked out. Very suspicious.

3. BYOB?

Floods are common natural disasters. But a beer flood? In 1814 in London, England, a vat of beer in a brewery mysteriously exploded forcing 550,000 gallons of beer to spill into the streets. The wave of beer destroyed two homes and crumbled the walls of a local pub trapping a teenage employee under the rubble. Eight people drowned in the flood. The disaster was ruled to be an act of God.

4. Bye-bye birdy

Hollywood experienced a freak accident on March 31,1993 on the set of Alex Proyas’ The Crow. There were eight days left of shooting when lead Brandon Lee, son of famous martial arts fighter and actor Bruce Lee, was killed when Michael Massee (a villain in the movie) fired a gun at Lee as part of a scene they were filming. A bullet from a dummy round was lodged in the barrel of the handgun. The bullet was not noticed and the gun was loaded with a blank cartridge. When the blank was fired, the bullet shot out and hit Lee in the abdomen. Lee was replaced by a stunt double to wrap up the final scenes and the movie still came out. Rumors have circled that the footage of Lee’s death is still out there.

Flickr photo

5. Lightning never strikes twice

They say lightning never strikes twice, but they may be wrong. During a soccer game in Congo in 1998, all 11 players of the Bassanga soccer team were struck dead by lightning in one strike. The home team was oddly untouched. Witchcraft was blamed for the adverse natural phenomena as many soccer teams have been known to hire witchdoctors to place hexes on their opponents.

6. Hart stops beating

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) has grown into a multimillion-dollar business, but even the fakest sport sees some of the most real accidents. Wrestler Owen Hart fell to his death in 1999 during his entrance on WWE’s pay per-view special, Over the Edge. Hart was supposed to descend slowly and dramatically, but the equipment malfunctioned and he plummeted 78 feet into the ring. This all happened live where thousands of fans witnessed the wrestler’s strange and unfortunate death.

7. Haunted park

On June 9, 1991, death stalked the Kings Island amusement park in Ohio. In one incident, a man fell into a pond, a friend and an employee attempted to rescue him, but all three men suffered from electric shock, killing two of them. The park was overrun with helicopters and emergency responders. Only an hour later, 32-year-old Candy Taylor fell off the Flight Commander ride in an attempt to wave to her friends below and point out the helicopters. The park has been rumored to be haunted and in 2012, an episode of Ghost Hunters was filmed there.

8.  All jacked up

The famous Jack Daniel’s liquor has been known to cause some accidents when in the wrong hands, but Mr. Daniel himself was dead sober the morning he tried opening a locked safe. Unable to remember the combination, the godfather of whiskey did the next best thing. He kicked it open and broke his toe. He eventually died from old blood poisoning after contracting a deadly infection from the broken toe.

9. Guitarthritis

Baseball player Joel Zumaya, missed three games during the 2006 American League Championship Series as a result of injury. However, this was no baseball related accident, but one caused by the famous game Guitar Hero. Rocking too hard on the guitar left the pitcher with an inflamed wrist, forcing him to sit out. Luckily, he recovered in time for the World Series. XBOX 360’s version of Guitar Hero II plays on this situation by including a disclaimer, “No pitchers were harmed in the making of this game. Except for one.” While this incident may not be as outrageously bizarre as the others on the list, it’s pretty funny that Guitar Hero was to blame for a baseball player’s injury.

10. Death by dishwasher

My mother always tells me there’s a specific technique to loading the dishwasher. I always thought it was hogwash but it seems that she was right. In North Lanarkshire, Scotland – like a scene from Final Destination—a woman in her thirties slipped in her kitchen and was stabbed by the upright knives from her open dishwasher. Safe to say I’ll wash my own dishes from now on.

Categories
Music

Halloween Mixtape

It’s Halloween! The ghosts, ghouls, and vampires have come out to play. What better way to celebrate the spooky season than to shake your bones to some scary tunes. Side A of this mix is composed of some go-to Halloween songs, many from classic movies and artists.

Side B is a little more unconventional. Songs that aren’t necessarily about Halloween, or related to the holiday, but have that eerie feeling to them. That feeling that just sends tingles up and down your spine and forces the hairs at the back of your neck to give the song a standing ovation. I threw Backstreet Boys in there because everyone remembers dancing to that Halloween video. Everyone.

Happy Hallows’ Eve!

 

Side A: The Obligatory Halloween Karaoke

1. “Time Warp” – The Rocky Horror Picture Show – The Rocky Horror Picture Show

2. “This is Halloween”- The Nightmare Before Christmas – The Nightmare Before Christmas

3. “Jump In Line (Shake Señora)”- Harry Belafonte – Beetlejuice

4. “Thriller”- Michael Jackson – Thriller

5. “Superstition”- Stevie Wonder – Talking Book

6. “Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)” – David Bowie – Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps)

7. “Ghostbusters”- Ray Parker Jr. – Ghostbusters

8. “Ghost Town” – The Specials – Single

9. “Monster Mash” – Bobby “Boris” Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers- Single

10. “I Put a Spell on You” – Screamin’ Jay Hawkins – Single

 

Side B: The Not-So-Obvious

1. “Heads Will Roll”- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs – It’s Blitz!

2. “Running Up That Hill” – Placebo – Sleeping With Ghosts

3. “People Are Strange” – The Doors – The Soft Parade

4. “Somebody’s Watching Me” – Rockwell – Somebody’s Watching Me

6. ” My Body’s a Zombie for You” – Dead Man’s Bones – Dead Man’s Bones

7. “Dead Hearts” – Stars – The Five Ghosts

6. “Point of Disgust” – Low – Trust

7. “All Fall Down”- OneRepublic – Dreaming Out Loud

8. “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” – Backstreet Boys – Backstreet’s Back

9. “Creep” – Scala & Kolacny Brothers – On The Rocks

10. “Cinderella” – Aqualung – Memory Man

Categories
Opinions

Halloween: chocolate, costumes and shenanigans

The overpriced costumes, smell of face paint, and miniature chocolates that make you feel less guilty about eating them, and the parties — oh Halloween, how wonderful you are.

Halloween is one of those commercial holidays that is hard to hate, because it can be so darn fun for just about anyone, regardless or their age or their personality. It is also one of those holidays that comes with ridiculous stories of costume malfunctions as a child and drunken adventures as a teen.

I still remember my triumphant 15 minutes of fame in elementary school, when I wrote a Halloween carol and had to sing it to the tune of  “Gloria in excelsis Deo.” Laugh all you want, but it was so good that my teacher made the whole class learn it. We had to sing it in front of the whole school and our parents at the Halloween assembly. Halloween could have made me a rockstar recording artist! My non-existent celebrity career aside, Halloween is a holiday where something ridiculous is bound to happen. I asked for people to share their funniest Halloween experiences, and here are some of the responses Concordians gave me:

I had a bit too much to drink at a Halloween party and spotted a guy in a Batman suit, and I was dressed as a witch. So, being in a drunken state, I of course, logically put bat + witch together = bat is witch’s pet. Hence, I went up to him and said, “You are my pet, Mr. Bat. I command you to fly!” and took some random thing I found at this house party, used it as a wand, and started waving it in front of him. “FLY MR. BAT. FLY, FLYYYY.”  He ACTUALLY began flapping his arms. We both began hysterically laughing so much that we fell on top of each other and broke the crystal stick-thingy…not sure what it was really. Good thing the kid who hosted the house party never found out it was me. I would have probably paid a good sum.

-Barbara Madimenos

So, right, it was cold as shit. And my friend was dressed as a ninja, even though he didn’t plan out his costume properly so it was kind of just a black tablecloth wrapped all around him in weird ways. So anyway we get our candy at a bunch of places and its all going great and then he tried to adjust the costume in the middle of the street and ended up taking it apart and the tablecloth just fell away, and he started crying there in his underwear. I think we were probably about six.

I just remember laughing at him even though he was obviously upset.

-Anonymous

Some of my best Halloween memories as a kid were my costumes. I love dressing up, and even if I usually work on Halloween I still put together a costume to wear. Now, I grew up in an Italian household, and money was sometimes tight, so splurging on an expensive Halloween costume for your 4-year-old wasn’t really a priority. But my parents never made me miss out on anything, and my mother took it into her own hands to make some of my costumes. They were endearing in the sense that people had no idea what the hell I was supposed to be. I remember one year my clown costume turned into a wizard costume somehow, put together with some weird potato sack material and glitter…lots of glitter. I was a young female clown wizard.

-Casandra De Masi

A friend of mine had a stepmom who put on these elaborate haunted houses and I would act for them. One year I was a fortune teller, another year I was a person who had no legs, with blood spewing out all around me.  We were rewarded with huge chocolate bars. It is safe to say that some of my best halloween memories were from acting in these haunted houses…and scaring people.

 

          – Amanda Shore

Graphic by Phil Waheed

 

So, my elementary school went on a field trip to a local high school. This high school always put on this crazy haunted house…well it was crazy to a 10-year-old. As a kid I was always a bit of a scaredy-cat and I hated small, dark spaces. However, everyone else was going into this haunted house, so I didn’t want to be left out. I ended up going in with one of my teachers behind me. I passed the exorcism and Frankenstein and I thought “hmm…well this isn’t so bad.” The second part was worse. The only light was from glowsticks on the ground, and this guy just jumped out of nowhere and grabbed my shoulders, shaking them roughly. I flipped out and started screaming, and I couldn’t stop. Before I knew it tears were streaming down my face and they had to secretly take me out by the emergency exit. Not my proudest moment.

However, it wasn’t as bad as the girls after me. They were so scared that they grabbed onto the walls, bringing them all down. The haunted house had to be closed for repair. Safe to say we were not invited back the next year.

 

-Anonymous

Categories
Student Life

My Day in the Life of a Zombie

Waking up tired from staying up a bit too late on Friday night, I felt like I was already getting into character for the zombie walk. Though I had intended to plan a costume days earlier, I looked through my drawers, found some clothes I had been meaning to mend, and decided that they would become part of my zombie costume.

Zombie jogger, Jade Adams, before taking to the streets for the Montreal Zombie Walk

I remembered I had a pair of black tights and a t-shirt that I had been intending to get rid off, but instead made into my outfit for the zombie walk. Since the clothes were a little plain, I smeared on some skin and blood makeup from the dollar store, sprayed on a little too much hairspray, and applied excessive amounts of dark eye makeup.I added some old running shoes, a headband, and a stopwatch so I could build my character: a zombie jogger!

Finally, within an hour and with under ten dollars spent on a costume, I had gone from half asleep morning zombie to a blood covered, flesh-eating zombie.

On my way to the metro to meet up with friends, I got a few weird looks, but was also greeted by some little kids waving at me, and chanting, “Zombie! Zombie!” The looks and interest in my new zombie look continued until we reached the thousands of other zombies hanging around Place des Festivals. Here, my friends and I found our kin. Until the walk started, we spent our time checking out all of the other costumes, and trying to figure out where and when the walk would start. Though it was supposed to start at 3:00, everyone started slowly trudging down de Maisonneuve around 3:30.

As more and more zombies poured into the streets, we were all slowed down by the hundreds of cameras. It took a while before the flashes slowed, but soon the hoards of zombies spilled out onto the street to walk at a more leisurely pace. This was when the real fun started. Instead of posing for pictures, groups of zombies began to moan, climb scaffolding, and bang on the windows of buildings, bus booths, and phone booths. Unknowing citizens both on the streets and in buildings, could surely hear the cries of the undead from blocks away, while others looked down from their hotel rooms to see thousands of zombies reaching up towards them with bloody hands.

Even as a zombie myself, some of my undead associates were really giving me the creeps. More than a few times, I would look to my side to see someone with rotting flesh and blood staring at me as they lurched forward. Just like reading books about zombies or watching movies, the scariest thing about a hoard of zombies is their sheer numbers, and the resemblance zombies maintain to their once living selves. Throughout the walk, I saw zombie nurses, doctors, postal workers, business executives, and families. In contrast to other figures of horror, the zombie really could be anyone, including someone you once knew or loved.

 

Categories
Opinions

A love affair with death, brains, gore, and the apocalypse

So what’s the deal with zombies? Why have they, for the past few decades, been moaning and limping their way to fame? Why did the Center for Disease Control feel the need to post a blog entry on how to survive the zombie apocalypse, and why was it so popular that it crashed the servers? Not to mention all the movies, books, television shows, graphic novels and video games. What’s got people so caught up in this trend?

Graphic Jenny Kwan

Zombies have been on the rise for quite a while, with popular movies like Zombieland, 28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead (to name very few), video games Left 4 Dead and The Last of Us, and of course The Walking Dead TV series adapted from the graphic novel. Why do we have such a fascination with the undead?

A case can be made that we are all engaged in the social commentaries that these films are making. George A. Romero, the arguable master of zombie flicks and original creator of films such as Night of the Living Dead and The Crazies, is often viewed as making a statement on the government and the general human condition with his movies.

The Resident Evil series, originally a video game and later adapted into films, blames ‘The Umbrella Corporation’ — a giant conglomerate experimenting with genetic engineering and biological weaponry — for the outbreak that leads to the fall of society.

Much is being said by The Walking Dead of the animalistic nature of man and the horrible things we cannot walk away from, but also of humanity’s ultimate ability to survive.

These stories often speak to a dissatisfaction with the government, which is often discussed by many, but publicly and grandly voiced by few. They may also speak to the lack of humanity some are seeing in this generation, where politeness has become such a rare quality, and selfishness, distrust, and violence are becoming more prominent.

There are also many people out there looking at the comedic aspect of a world fallen to savagery. As the movie Zombieland states, “enjoy the little things.” Even in a living hell, there can be an upside. As we see in both Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead, there’s the romantic possibility of winning over the girl.

Perhaps it is because we are simply unhappy with the current state of living.Immersing ourselves in the idea of a zombie apocalypse allows us to temporarily escape from today. Formulating an intricate zombie survival plan, and imagining how one will survive, can perhaps give us the fantastical chance to be the hero we strive to be, but fall short of attaining in reality.

It may just be that we enjoy the action and gore, but whatever it is, there is no sign of the zombie fad fading any time soon. But just for good measure, it can’t hurt to keep your knives sharp, and a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide close by.

Categories
Music

Death and decay: our fascination with zombies

American poet Langston Hughes once claimed that “life is for the living, death is for the dead, let life be like music. And death a note unsaid.” But what about a darker piece of music, a more sinister sound?

Musicians like Alice Cooper, Rob Zombie, and Marilyn Manson embody the zombie persona on stage. Photo from Flickr Creative Commons user Simaron.

Musicians have been compelled to integrate the undead into their work for generations. From pop mainstays like Michael Jackson’s iconic “Thriller” to genres that thrive on the dark and sadistic, such as black metal, zombies are an element that music has not shied away from.

To understand why musicians glorify zombies, we must understand why the undead captivate our imaginations. To do so, we must understand why the concept of the zombie exists in the first place.

Society is meant to fear zombies. One possible explanation could be that the modern zombie represents what people fear most: becoming a brain dead and anonymous follower with no free will.

The zombie would therefore represent the death of our individuality. They also bring up the idea of mortality; the ultimate unsatisfying ending that all things living must meet.

Why would some of the most creative and individualistic members of the artistic community choose to conjure up such imagery?

Music has often confronted many of the most primal and relatable of themes: love, loss, freedom and of course, fear. By exploring what humans fear, musicians attempt to bring what is unfamiliar and uncertain to center stage. One needs only to look at Alice Cooper, Rob Zombie or Marilyn Manson to see entire musical careers based on the macabre as they attempt to walk—and sometimes completely step over—the line of the audience’s comfort level.

By making the majority of listeners uncomfortable, these three veterans found a whole following of those who already felt misunderstood and on the fringes of society.

Death has been approached in a wide variety of ways. From sad ballads about the passing of a loved one, perhaps like The Beatles’ “Yesterday,” to the uncertainty of life in its closing moments, such as “Searching for a Former Clarity” by Against Me!, songs about death can be written by artists for therapeutic reasons, in tribute to someone they lost or as a welcoming to what they believe awaits them after death.

“Music itself is an art about time, and every piece of music contains in itself the ineluctability of its ending,” said Georges Dimitrov, an assistant professor in Concordia’s Music department.

Music, like human life, must at some point come to an end. It is an art form that is inherently and constantly changing. A musician must accept the finality of their song and may choose to emphasize its ending to highlight its importance.

To use zombies in one’s work is to mock death itself by showing no fear in the face of limited time. By becoming what most people fear, these musicians transcend the mundane and enter the realm of the supernatural.

 

Categories
Music

Super zombie band, The Macabre, will turn your world upside down

Graphic by Jenny Kwan

In the spirit of the Halloween season, The Concordian did some digging in musical graveyards and assembled a supergroup of the undead.

Our ensemble is a four-piece set, featuring a drummer, vocalist, guitarist, and bassist to form the chilling and thrilling zombie band, The Macabre. The band members will give you smoother material, but will nevertheless rock out, and most importantly, will make you want to sing along to their music and repeat their tunes over and over again.

Without further ado, we present to you The Macabre:

Freddie Mercury

As the frontman of Queen, Mercury delivered timeless classics with passion and excitement making it hard to not get caught up in any Queen song that plays. Being a zombie would hardly keep Mercury down. Zombies are usually droning slow-moving creatures; Mercury would be the liveliest zombie rock star them all.

Honourable mention: Michael Jackson. Jackson outgrew the whole band concept once he reached puberty. That being said, seeing zombie MJ perform the “Thriller” dance would be worth the highly inflated price of admission.

Jimi Hendrix

Hendrix will give the band its rocking and psychedelic image. While Mercury will command the crowd with his presence, Hendrix will often steal the show with his guitar skills. Give him a few guitar solos and soon we’ll be debating who the greatest guitarist ever is: ‘real’ Jimi Hendrix or ‘zombie’ Jimi Hendrix.

Keith Moon

The drummer of The Who had a reputation for being reckless with the drums —amongst other things—yet his drumming will forever have a place in music history and opening sequences of the various CSI TV shows. If any of his limbs fall off from drumming too hard, he will likely keep on drumming and tape them back on during the set. It’s all done for the love of Rock’ n’ Roll.

Rick James

If you have to double take at his name,you probably haven’t watched enough of comedian Dave Chappelle’s sketches. The man behind songs like “Super Freak” (MC Hammer would later sample it for “U Can’t Touch This”) and “Give It To Me Baby,” James can provide background vocals and kill it on bass. He might also have the best stories to share while on tour.

 

Categories
Opinions

Zombie apocalypse level: hide-and-seek

You would be ill informed if you said it was nonsense and perhaps ill advised if you still haven’t taken the necessary precautions when it does come. Despite the fact that it may seem childish and untrue, it is only a matter of time before the zombie apocalypse does terrorize our planet. Now, we may still have some time, but like many fearful Americans during the Cold War, we too should take exaggerated precautions to survive our most dangerous war yet.

Graphic by Jenny Kwan

For now, here is a list of the 10 best places to hide and survive when the zombie apocalypse hits Montreal.

1. Prison

Yes, maybe I have been watching too much of The Walking Dead, but who are you to judge? It’s an excellent simulation of what our world would become when subjected to these ruthless beings. That being said, I think a prison camp, such as the one on Montreal’s North Shore, would be a good place to shotgun. The already established high security as well as access to food and water, and more importantly, heavy artillery, heighten your chances of survival.

2. Costco

If you asked 100 people where they would hide during a zombie apocalypse, 98 would say Costco. They make a valid point. Costco is a vast market that sells basically anything you would need to live there permanently — survival 101. However, it may be easy for zombies to gain access to the lower floors. Therefore, I would suggest building a fortress with all of your necessary products on one of the shelves, like Dane Cook and his buddies did in the mediocre comedy, Employee of the Month.

3. Wal-Mart

Similar to Costco, Wal-Mart would also be an excellent place to settle when the worst comes. As an avid zombie connoisseur, I’m ready to take it a step further: Wal-Mart in Plattsburg, New York. Why there? Well, Plattsburg is home to the closest Wal-Mart south of the border. Let’s be honest, if you were trying to survive something as dangerous as zombies, you’d probably want to be in an American Wal-Mart, where access to food and necessities is doubled. And let’s not forget guns, lots of guns.

4. Pierre Elliot Trudeau Airport.

The mere size of the airport is enough to make it a gem of a hiding spot. There is access to food, as well as weapons and ammo taken from the numerous security guards. However, what I really like about the airport is the diversity in hiding. If ever you need a plan B, you can simply find refuge in an abandoned airplane, hide in the cockpit, and use tramcars for occasional food and ammo runs.

5. Police Station

Please be warned: not all police stations would be suitable for zombie survival. For starters, most are badly located in the busiest parts of town and might already be infested beyond cleansing. That being said, a well-located police station would be a good place to start. Guns would be at hand, as well as other weapons, and in times of serious desperation, when all hope seems lost, you can lock yourself up in the mini-prison cell they have in most stations and fight your way out safely from there.

6. Hall Building

This is the only valid reason to go back to school during a zombie takeover. This 13-floor massive structure on de Maisonneuve St. can be an ingenious spot if necessary steps are taken to make it impenetrable. First, block all access to the higher floors however you can. Then, proceed to take the elevator to the highest floor with all of your necessities. Make your home there, while making sure you find a way to keep the elevator on your floor. When runs are necessary, take the elevator down cautiously.

7. Cinemas Guzzo – Marché Central

What’s unique about this particular movie theatre is that it’s on a second floor. The only way to access it is through escalators at the front of the theatre. In similar fashion to the Hall Building scenario, block off the entrance completely. You then have a few options, like making a home in one of the movie rooms, on the top floor, preferably. Also, you’ll have access to the wonderful cinematic experience Guzzo offers while blood-thirsty zombies are at your doorstep looking for your head.

8. McDonald’s playground

This may seem like an odd suggestion at first, but think of the possibilities: barricading yourself in this glass room, climbing on top of the jungle of fun and having a 360-degree view of your surroundings. Nothing says ‘safe’ like having eyes everywhere, and that’s what McDonald’s can give you. They also have fries.

9. St. Joseph’s Oratory

Considered one of the most majestic structures in Montreal, the oratory is advantageous to the hider for many reasons. First, it’s situated on a hill, making it difficult for slow moving zombies to get there. Also, if in possession of a sniper, which I suggest, the dome of the oratory offers an excellent shooting point for some long distance zombie killing. With adequate barricading at key points, the oratory would be an excellent stronghold for quite a few people.

10. Laval

Simple, because nobody likes going to Laval. Nobody.

Please make sure you print this out and hold a copy at all times. The time has come for mankind to defend itself against its biggest foe yet. Let’s make sure we’re prepared, and let the games begin!

Categories
Music

Top 10 – Zombie apocalypse songs

So, the zombies are taking over and all you have is your iPod — or music player of your choice — to keep you company. We all have those ideal songs we would go to in order to block out the moaning and groaning, and to give us to motivation and strength to kick undead ass.

These songs may give you that feeling, that boost, and maybe even that sense of normalcy during the most dangerous moments of your life.

1. “Zombie” – The Cranberries

OK, this is the first song that may pop into a lot of people’s minds. Whether you prefer the Cranberries rendition, or that of Ed Helms on The Office, this is a great song to open the scene. Zombies, zombies are everywhere. What is happening?

2. “Move Bitch” – Ludacris

So now you start realizing that people are really getting aggressive and all up in your personal space, trying to eat your brains and whatnot. You’re not down with this. No way. It’s time to rustle some bones.

3. “Radioactive” – Imagine Dragons

This is it. You realize that it is do or die, and shizz is getting real — real scary. This is where you start using the rules that Zombieland taught you. Double Tap, always remember the Double Tap.

4. “Uprising” – Muse

Don’t let them fat-cat corporate zombies get to you, you need to keep fighting, band together with other real humans. Don’t approach the babies or the kittens as they are traps set to lure you into a feast where you’re the main course. They cannot control you.

5. “Sail” – AWOLNATION

You’re still kicking zombie butt, but you’re getting worried. You just want it to end, and for things to go back to normal, but you cannot control that right now. So keep crackin’ them mushy skulls.

6. “Midnight City” – M83

Warm Bodies anyone? It’s nighttime now, and you’re perusing the dangerous and barely-lit streets, the sounds of screaming can be heard over your music. You walk cautiously.

7. “The Funeral” – Band of Horses

It’s dark, cold and you’re alone. You’ve been separated from all your friends and family as well as your cat, who was bitten and you’re pretty sure is responsible for most of the epidemic. You knew Misfits was educational. You’re close to giving up.

8. “Death and All of His Friends” – Coldplay

No. You’re not a quitter. Get up, you idiot. You’re a kick-ass zombie fighter. Buffy, Sam and Dean- they got nothing on you and the supernatural. You’re determined to get your life back. You “don’t want to follow death and all of his friends.”

9. “The Rapture” – Echoes

You walked into the wrong part of town. You’re completely surrounded. You see your aunt Janie, your best friend Morgan, and your mom — she’s holding Mr. Pickles, your zombie feline. They are coming in from all angles, you cannot escape. You’re out of ammo. This is it.

10. “L’Absente” – Yann Tiersen

You’ve been bitten. You tried your best and there was nothing you could do. You were impossibly surrounded and now you must wait to see what happens. Life is slowly being taken away from you as you join the crowd of moaning, groaning, and decaying flesh. Your life flashes before your eyes and you listen to this song, its ups & downs, the highs and lows.

Now get the hell out of the shower, you just spent an hour imagining a zombie apocalypse while listening to music and you’re late for your class. Your cat is acting really strange though…

Categories
Arts

Poet’s Corner – Zombie Students’ Confession

Up all night, dead by day,

among the crowds,

numbered me,

among the masses,

walking demonic snails,

forget creative deeds.

Zombie culture,

yearning to be one among none,

laptop, phone I’m a drone.

Staggering, stale empty mind,

Student zombie hunting brain,

Mindless knowledge worth change,

Graduated zombie,

Searching unnamed tombstone,

Now where’s my desk?

Categories
Opinions

From our kitchen: Broken Glass Jell-O — zombie edition!

Photo by Casandra De Masi

Here is what you need:

 – 4 packs of Jell-O or any other fruit gelatin brand (colours are up to you, for zombie I would use green, red, orange.)

– 2 packs of clear unflavoured gelatin

– 1 can eagle brand condensed milk

– A 9×13 inch pan (I use a clear casserole, as it goes in the fridge)

– 4 plastic contains, medium sized (for your Jell-o)

Instructions

1. Make your four packs of Jell-O, and when done, separate the colours into four containers. Let them chill in fridge.

2. Once the Jell-O is set, cut it up into medium sized cubes. Dump the cubes into your pan.

3. In a separate bowl, mix together two packets of clear unflavoured gelatin and half a cup of cold water.

4. In the same bowl, add in about 2 cups of hot water. Stir.

5. Once stirred, add your can of condensed milk and mix together. Let it cool in the fridge for a while. I usually leave it for about 30 minutes.

6. Once cooled, take your milk and gelatin mix and slowly pour it over the Jell-O cubes in your pan. Put the pan in the fridge and let it cool overnight.

In the morning, you’ll be able to cut your gelatin treat into cubes or any shape you want. You can even break it up unevenly and say it is zombie brains/guts! YUM!

 

Exit mobile version