The ‘talking stage.’ Just ‘seeing someone’. Not ‘officially’ dating. No labels, no expectations, no limitations. This world of “what are we?” where no one really asks for fear of coming off as desperate, or no one is actually in a relationship because of x, y, or z. This language has become so standard in our generation; in the culture around us.
I don’t understand any of it.
I mean, obviously, I understand what they mean in the context of dating and navigating the single/relationship world. But I don’t understand why it’s become so normalized.
In the past week, I’ve had conversations with friends about relationships they have that sound a lot like they’re with the other person, calling each other bae (which is another thing altogether, but anyway). But they’re not. They’re not official – they’re just seeing each other, they’re not putting a label on it.
It’s one thing if there’s no romantic connection in the relationship, or if it’s purely a physical, casual thing. What I’m talking about is skinny love, defined by the Urban Dictionary as “a type of relationship between two people that are very in love with each other, or are crushing big time on the other; but are far too embarrassed to express their feelings. The relationship is ‘skinny’ because they have yet to come out and explain their true feelings.”
I’m talking about the relationships between people who have been “seeing each other” (again, this is a whole other thing) exclusively for a significant amount of time and who’ve said “I love you” – but won’t say that they’re together. I’m talking about people that spend forever in the talking stage with constant reassurance that this is serious, this is for real – but it never progresses past that. I’m talking about the people who have been exclusive with someone for a while – but still won’t label their relationship as official.
If this is you, I’m calling you out: what are you afraid of? Stop hiding behind shaky words and make things official with the person you want to be with. No more skinny love, my friends. Profess your affection, make things official, go live a fulfilled romantic life. Life is too short to do things halfway.
And before someone comes at me for saying no one should need to “claim” someone to be “theirs”, think about how reassurance and knowing you’re secure in a relationship is necessary, and how it makes you feel safe, loved, and wanted.
I’m not going to come on here and tell you that you need to learn to love yourself before you could ever be loved or before you can love someone else, because that’s problematic for a few reasons.
First, it harbours the idea that people aren’t worthy of love if they don’t love who they are by themselves. You don’t have to love yourself all the time or have all your life figured out to be loved; you can still be a work in progress.
Second, this ideology of loving yourself before you should ever be in a relationship with someone else is toxic. Loving yourself is a process; a lifelong journey. There are probably days where you think to yourself, “yeah, I’m pretty damn awesome.” There are also days where you might not like yourself very much, for whatever reason.
Both of these reasons and everything in between are totally normal and they’re all part of living with yourself every day for your entire life. Neither of these or anything in between should affect your ability to be in a relationship.
While there are these two problems with this ideology, there is also a silver lining. No, you don’t have to love yourself before you can love someone else, but it’s important to still learn to love yourself. The same effort you’re going to put into a relationship is also needed for yourself.
Whether it’s by taking time to yourself to really get to know you, or it’s going on solo dates to your favourite coffee shop, to a new movie that came out, to a restaurant you’ve always wanted to try; or even if it’s telling yourself reaffirming phrases everyday for the rest of your life. All of these are just some examples of how you can learn to love yourself. But these don’t, in any way, conclude the journey of self-love, nor do they mean you can’t still be in a relationship while you’re on it.
The whole point of this is that you can still (if you choose) be in a loving relationship with someone else even though you’re not in a loving relationship with yourself. You’re allowed to love and be loved by someone else while you’re trying and learning to love yourself. You’re allowed to be happy with someone else even if you’re not necessarily always happy with yourself. You’re not unworthy of feeling love or being in love if you don’t love yourself. The important thing is that you don’t give up on trying.
Are you a student on the downtown campus who’s tired of getting their coffee from big-chain corporations like Starbucks, Tim Horton’s, Second Cup or Van Houte? Do you want a new spot that has a cool vibe, good service and good coffee? Well, that’s not Pigeon Espresso Bar because they have the world’s worst coffee.
Not actually, though, that’s just their slogan: “World’s Worst Coffee” is seen plastered all around the tiny coffee shop located a few storefronts down from the corner of Bishop St. and De Maisonneuve Blvd. (diagonally across from the Hall building). Whether on merch – reusable coffee mugs, crewnecks, caps – or on little posters throughout, their slogan definitely radiates BDE. Their coffee is far from being the worst and has easily become one of my favourites.
From around April to October, I usually drink iced coffee. From then until March, I get regular, hot coffee. At Pigeon, I often get an iced latte and, since I like my drinks with a little sweetness, and Pigeon doesn’t have flavoured syrups, I add a little bit of agave (they also have honey available).
Photo by Kayla-Marie Turriciano through Instagram @lifew.kay
Other times, when I’ve felt adventurous and wanted to try out something new but didn’t know what, every barista I’ve engaged with has helped me out. Not only are they helpful but they’re kind and friendly with each customer that comes in. At one point a few trips ago, one particular barista asked a patron if they wanted “the usual.” Even though it’s a really simple thing, it says a lot about the employees if they remember people’s orders, especially in a very busy neighbourhood. For service, I give Pigeon 5/5.
Back to coffee: during the colder months, I order a regular brew and add some milk – they also have non-dairy options like soy, coconut, oat, and almond milk – and sugar (again, agave and honey are sweetener alternatives). Whatever I get, though, it never tastes burnt, watery or just downright gross; it’s always fresh, has that perfect brewed-coffee smell and feels “full” to your taste buds. I’d give their coffee a 4.5/5.
On a side note, Pigeon does also have some baked goods. Since I have celiac disease (I can’t eat gluten), I haven’t tried anything, but they always look so yummy and I often see other people buying them.
One thing about Pigeon is that, because it’s an independent shop, their prices are a little higher than a Starbucks coffee, which makes me give them 3.5/5.
Even as a small – literally tiny, with only about three feet from the counter to the windowed-wall – coffee shop, Pigeon has quite a few varieties of drinks, all of which can be seen on the menu, which is written on large mirrors on the left side of the shop. Hanging from the ceiling are plants, which gives the small shop a light feel and makes for the perfect Instagram shot. Once you’ve got your coffee, you can sit down on a stool by the ledge lining the windows or sit outside on the shaded patio and watch Bishop St. For ambiance, I give Pigeon a 5/5.
Are you already drowning in your readings? Have you already started panicking about all the deadlines you have to meet this semester? How about wondering how you’re going to balance your job, school, and homework, with the rest of your life? Already planning on quitting because you’re overwhelmed? Are you stressed out about the stress you’re going to be stressed about?
I know we’re only into the second week of school, but it’s normal to already be feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Whether it’s your first year in university or your fifth, I’m not sure it gets any less stressful. But there can definitely be ways for you to manage your stress.
Keeping track
One of the most important things to do to try to keep your stress at a manageable level is to keep an agenda. This is important for a few reasons: first, it’s an easy way to keep track of all your classes, appointments, meetings, work shifts, and even to jot down when you’re going to have a night out with friends or family. By keeping an agenda — either in a planner or by using a digital option like Google Calendar — you’re able to keep track of everything you have going on in the upcoming week and for the rest of the month.
Another use for your agenda is to keep track of due dates. At the beginning of each semester, I like to comb through each class’s course outline and make a note of any deadlines for assignments, readings due, exams, papers, or presentations. I note them all down in two places: on the day each assignment is due as well as in the monthly view so I know what I need to work on throughout the month. By doing this, I can always keep track of what assignments have an approaching deadline and so you also don’t lose out on grades because you forgot about a five per cent quiz one day.
Stop procrastinating
This brings me to my next point, which is to stop procrastinating. I might not be the best person to say this because the number of assignments I’ve handed in to professors that were hot off the printer is shameful. But at the same time, because I’ve done this so many times, I can definitely say it’s stressful constantly trying to beat the clock.
Always keep a lookout for approaching deadlines and try to get a head start on assignments. It seems like a simple enough thing to do but, trust me, time gets away from you quickly and soon you’re stuck writing three 12-page papers in a span of three days (true story).
Your shows are still going to be on Netflix after you’re done your assignment; there are going to be other nights out with your friends. You’ll still be able to do everything you want to do, but it’s best to get your work done first to avoid stressing out later.
To Do:
Once you’ve written everything in one place and you’ve finally decided to sit down and work on your assignments, it’s likely that you’ll be sitting at your desk, or at a coffee shop and start feeling overwhelmed by everything you have to do. The best thing for the next step is to write a To Do list. Simple yet effective, To Do lists allow you to prioritize the work you need to get done. Personally, nothing can beat the satisfying feeling of physically crossing something off a To Do list; it makes me feel more accomplished and in control of everything I have to complete.
Depending on what you have to get done, your To Do list can start off in one of two ways: if you don’t have any impending deadlines but a lot is due around the same time in a few weeks, start off with the one that requires the most work and go down from there. If you’re like me and you have a lot of smaller assignments more frequently throughout the semester, write them down in order of closest deadline to not miss anything.
Put your well-being first
The most important way to manage your stress is to take care of yourself, first and foremost. While, yes, school is important and so is doing well, nothing is more important than your mental health. If you still feel overwhelmed and anxious under a lot of stress after implementing the outlined steps, just take some time for yourself.
Any little thing can help in reducing your stress when it gets past the point of feeling manageable. Take a couple of hours to yourself without technology and focus on your breathing, as I did during my spa day a few weeks ago.
If you’re feeling more on the edge of mental exhaustion, binge-watch your favourite show for a night. Spend some time with your family or your friends. Treat yourself to a little at-home spa treatment before bed. Work out to flush out the toxins and boost your mood. Take a walk, play with a puppy, sleep.
Whatever you do, try to manage your stress before your stress becomes unmanageable.
I debated sharing this with everyone, with however many strangers and my mom (hi mom) are going to read this, but I think there’s a valuable point to my story, so just hear me out.
This is the first summer in about four years that I wasn’t on a dating app. That doesn’t seem like a very big deal and, in theory, it isn’t. But when you spent many years on and off dating apps trying to find someone you connect with, I guess it kind of is.
In the first issue of The Art of Being Single for 2019-20, I wrote about how I’m a go-getter in all aspects of my life, dating and love included. All my time on dating apps over the last few years have been to potentially find someone I would maybe spend my life with (big claim, yes I know, but it does happen!)
If you’ve been following along with my column, or if you know me in real life, you know that my search over the years has been futile. Sure, I’ve spoken to and gotten to know a lot of cool, interesting people, but also some people that, looking back at now, I wish I hadn’t invested so much of my time in.
I’m not going to say that I necessarily regret spending so much time on dating apps over the years, because every single one of those people (and trust me, there’s been a lot, all who’ve eventually ghosted) have moulded me into who I am today. Each person has left me with memories, with inside jokes I still laugh at sometimes, with things that remind me of them in everyday life. They’ve all helped me know what I want and don’t want, what I like and dislike, how to maneuver through the world of dating. All of these people have shaped my view on the dating world and made me into who I am today.
So, this was the first summer in a long time that I wasn’t on a dating app. It was the first time in a long time that I wasn’t wasting my time swiping left and right, updating my profile to sound interesting, engaging in conversations with people that would end up ghosting at the end. This was the first summer that I wasn’t completely engrossed by my phone looking at profile after profile trying to look for love.
This summer, I felt free. And you should try it sometime too.
Summer 2019 has been busy. Between my retail job and my internship, I spent my days off catching up on chores, seeing friends and family, and just trying to be an adult as best as I could. All this running around led me to be more exhausted than I was at the beginning of the summer, which isn’t the best way to start off a new semester.
Last week, I went to the spa to try to take an actual day off before school starts; before I’m thrown into another eight months of stress before I can actually relax again. Since no technology is allowed and I went by myself, I was really all by myself — no one to talk to or to message, no work emails, no social media.
During the first hour there (out of five total), my mind kept thinking about work, about what other people were doing and posting on social media, what I would write for this week’s paper, etc. The time alone made me zero in on the fact that my brain never stops; it’s always thinking about something other than what’s happening in the moment.
What I did notice, though, was this feeling inside of me, what I could only describe as a ball of chaotic energy that made it a little bit difficult to breathe. I realized that it was a feeling of mild anxiety and stress that I hadn’t really noticed before because I was always on the go.
After focusing on my breathing, my mind started slowing down, and I became more present in the moment: I stopped thinking of work, I forgot about social media. I even lost track of time despite there being clocks everywhere. I became so focused on my breathing and on trying to really relax that I fell asleep.
Over the next couple of hours, I really took that time by myself for myself. I tried out all the different options the spa had available: I went from the hot rooms/water to cold baths, then fell asleep. After a few rounds of this little routine, the ball of stress and anxiety that felt like it was consuming my chest and stomach at the beginning of my day had significantly reduced. I felt at peace, less stressed, and more aware of my body. With school having started, it’s inevitable that we’re going to be stressed.
The point of this little story is to remind you to be mindful of the effects stress has on you, both mentally and physically. You don’t have to go to a spa to try to de-stress; simply be mindful of your breathing, remain aware of the effects of stress on you before it feels like it’s too much to handle.
When you feel that ball of chaotic energy beginning to build up, take some time (even a few hours) to be away from technology and other people. Take some time alone to focus on your breathing, treat yourself to some at-home spa-like treatments, take a nap — you’ll wake up feeling refreshed, less stressed, and more at peace.
You know when you meet someone new and life kind of just falls into place? Your days are occupied with texting them for hours on end, the conversation never fading or getting awkward. Your time not talking to them is hard to get through because you want to know what they’re doing, what they’re thinking, their opinion on x, y, and z.
Life falls into this routine: a morning text is waiting for you when you wake up; you know what time it was sent at without even looking. You know their daily schedule so you know when they won’t be available to chat, you know when they’re in a meeting, on the way home from work, or playing a sport.
The conversations flow so easily, so naturally. You learn their quirks, their slang, their terrible jokes. Even after only a few weeks, it feels like you’ve known this person forever and you look forward to the next morning’s text, the routine you’ve gotten to know and love. Nothing has ever felt so right.
Until it all goes wrong.
One day, the morning text you’ve woken up to for the last three weeks isn’t there. The consistent stream of inside jokes stop. The conversations that you’ve held near and dear, that you’ve looked forward to, day after day? They stop.
The routine is no more and it feels like you don’t even know what you’re supposed to do at 8:23 a.m. when they would normally text you, or from 10-12 when you’d sneakily message them during a meeting; or until 9 p.m., when they’d fall asleep.
Your life gets turned on its head and you don’t know what to do anymore. Was it something I did or didn’t say? Something I did or didn’t do? What’s so fundamentally wrong with me that someone suddenly stops talking to me after weeks of cultivating our routine? Sadness, anxiety, anger and pain creep in — sometimes separately, often all at once.
Eventually, though, they start fading from your memory and life resumes as it was before. You fall back into your routine, the one without the person who made your days brighter and more complete.
Eventually. But it takes time. In the meantime, it’s okay to still feel some lingering uncertainties about why it all ended; it’s okay to still care about them even though they hurt you like they said they never would.
Keep in mind that even though it’s hard to grasp why it happened, it did happen, and there’s no going back or changing the past. This routine will come and go many times, but, one day, it will stay forever. In the meantime, just remember it’s all part of the art of being single.
The Amazon is on fire and it has been for the last few weeks.
There has been an uproar around the world because it’s a horrible thing happening to such an important ecosystem on our planet. People were lashing out at news outlets and organizations because of the lack of coverage.
In just a few days’ time, though, increased coverage of the topic took over social media and became something everyone was talking about. Countless news outlets were covering the story and #PrayforAmazonia was trending on Twitter as early as Aug. 20.
What people need to understand, though, is that fires in the Amazon are nothing new. Human-created fires are set every year during the “season of the queimada,” which is “when farmers intentionally set fire to the forest for agricultural purposes,” according to complex. This period usually lasts from June to December, which is when the Amazon Basin dries out, according to National Geographic, thus making it more susceptible to fires. The difference is that they are usually controlled fires that occur after trees are cut down in a certain area and the fallen trees, after being left to dry out, are set ablaze to clear the area.
The difference between this year and previous years is that there was an 83 per cent increase compared to the same time period in 2018, according to Business Insider. As of Aug. 21, a total of 72,843 fires took place.
One of the reasons for humans setting fire to the Amazon is the development of agricultural crops. These crops could be anything from soybeans to palm oil, or the land can be used for cattle farming – considering Brazil was deemed the world’s top exporter of beef in 2018, according to the United States Department of Agriculture.
The same source says that the cows, for which there’s an estimated headcount of 232 million, primarily eat grass. That’s why land is being converted from forest to grazing crops. In a Global News article, it was said that deforestation in the Amazon for the purpose of cattle farming led to the forest losing 17 per cent of its area in the last 50 years.
Forests cover more than 30 per cent of the land on Earth, according to the World Wildlife Foundation (WWF). Not only that, but these forests are home to 80 per cent of land species. Also, forests, especially rain forests, are also responsible for absorbing carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and turning it into oxygen, which, you know, is vital for our survival.
On the same note, rain forests act as carbon sinkholes. The WWF’s website says: “Tropical forests alone hold more than 228 to 247 gigatons of carbon, which is more than seven times the amount emitted each year by human activities. But when forests are cut, burned or otherwise removed they emit carbon instead of absorb carbon. Deforestation and forest degradation are responsible for around 15% of all greenhouse gas emissions.”
A lot can come out of this discussion about the Amazon being on fire: is this deliberate blazing of a central part of our planet connected to the increase of climate change in the long-run? Is cattle farming and the meat industry, specifically beef, worth the destruction of important ecosystems?
All of this and more are reasons to be wary of the permanent and potentially irreversible effects of climate change.
My whole life, I’ve always gone after what I wanted. I tried out for all the parts I wanted in the school play; I worked hard in school to be a good student and make the honour roll; I applied to jobs I wasn’t completely qualified for. I did all of these things because of who I am as a person – I’m a fighter, I go after what I want.
If you’re new here, hi! This is a column where I discuss the ups and downs, the good and the annoying, literally everything about being single – hence the name. If you’re wondering why I’m talking about my “nature” as a person, it leads into the following: when it comes to love, everyone always says to stop looking for it because it’ll come to you when you least expect it. But how do you leave something be when it’s in your nature – it’s how you function – to fight for what you want?
This is something I’ve been trying to navigate over the last few years: I know I should let love come to me (I’m also a big believer in fate, big surprise) but I can’t just let opportunity pass me by. You never know what you could be missing out on if you don’t put yourself out there.
The main point is the conflict between creating your own path to something (fighting for it and creating opportunities for success) or letting things fall into place when they’re meant to (letting the universe do its work, as fate might have a master plan).
While I’ve had a difficult time in the past dealing with leaving my love life up to fate (the universe, any god, possibly even to nothing), I’ve become more inclined to letting go of the incessant fear of ending up alone if I’m not on every dating app or scouting potential prospects in my everyday life.
I’ve come to the calm realization, like the ocean after a storm, that if I end up alone, well, at least I would have had my fair share of experiences, all of which shaped me into who I am today. I know that I tried and failed, that I would have had my heart broken, my feelings manipulated, and my hopes shattered.
With all that being said, even though I fight for what I want, I’ve decided to leave love up to fate and wait for it to happen when I least expect it.
AI and human rights forum generates global discussions
On April 5, the Montreal Institute for Genocide and Human Rights Studies (MIGS) hosted the Human Rights and Artificial Intelligence Forum in Concordia’s 4th Space.
“Because we’ve done some work with Global Affairs Canada, the Dutch Foreign Ministry, and worked directly with different companies, we thought ‘let’s try to get a discussion going,’” said Kyle Matthews, MIGS’s executive director, about the event. Panelists from across the globe, some of whom Skyped in remotely, convened to give their expertise on the use of Artificial Intelligence (AI) technology with regards to human rights in different scopes.
“I’m happy we’ve generated discussions, that we’re connecting students and researchers of Concordia to practitioners in private sectors and in government,” said Matthews. “MIGS works on cutting edge issues with human rights and global affairs. We see, because Montreal is becoming the AI centre of the world, that there’s a unique opportunity for us to play a part in elevating the human rights discussion on a whole set of issues and conflicts.”
The Human Rights and AI Forum was held on April 5 at Concordia’s 4th Space. Photo by Hannah Ewen.
Troll Patrol: fighting abuse against women on Twitter
From London, Tanya O’Carroll, director of Amnesty Tech at Amnesty International, spoke about the innovation of AI in researching and crowdsourcing to enforce human rights.
Amnesty Tech’s Troll Patrol was a language decoding program that filtered hate speech towards female journalists and politicians on Twitter. The AI found instances ranging from sexism and racism, homophobia and Islamophobia, and more, with the majority aimed at women in minority groups.
The AI worked in tandem with volunteer human decoders, whom O’Carroll said are an important part of the loop. O’Carroll explained how the issue isn’t that Twitter doesn’t have a terms of abuse policy—it does, and it’s called “The Twitter Rules.” The issue is they don’t have enough moderators, which O’Carroll called their “business decision.”
The AI accurately predicted and identified only 52 per cent of abusive content on Twitter. O’Carroll acknowledged that, while this isn’t perfect, it’s valuable in challenging the data and bringing change to human rights issues on a large scale.
Emerging technologies in the public sector with a human-centric approach
During Enzo Maria Le Fevre Cervini’s panel, the major topic was governance. Le Fevre Cervini works with emerging technologies and international relations for the Agency for Digital Italy.
Le Fevre Cervini said the fourth revolution of AI is based on data gathered from the public sector, which emphasizes the need to focus on the quality and the quantity of data. The ethical dimensions should be less about the technology and more about its product—there needs to be a reassessment of AI as technology that can play a pivotal role in bridging the gap between parts of society.
Prometea, an AI software, quickly processes legal complaints at the DA’s office in Buenos Aires, Argentina. The complaints are compared to similar cases and the accused is either appointed a judicial hearing or not, according to the results. With just the DA computer system, it could take someone 30 minutes to get through 15 documents. With Prometea, all documents in the system are processed in two minutes.
“Technology is a major agent of change,” said Le Fevre Cervini, which is why he hopes governance of AI will change to allow the opportunity for technology to be more human-centred and widely available.
The series of panels was organized by the Montreal Institute for Genocide and Human Rights (MIGS). Photo by Hannah Ewen.
Ethics and AI
“There’s an assumption that AI will be smarter than humans, but they’re just good at narrow tasks,” said Mirka Snyder Caron, an associate at the Montreal AI Ethics Institute.
During her panel, Snyder Caron spoke about behaviour nudging, such as those little reply boxes at the bottom of an email on your Gmail account. While it may be easy, it’s “terribly convenient” because you’re just recycling what you’ve already done—the prompts are based on general replies and your previous emails.
Snyder Caron emphasized that it’s important to remember that AI systems are still just machines that “can be fooled” or “experience confusion.” She gave an example of an AI system that was unable to identify a stop sign covered in graffiti or one with squares concealing part of the word so it didn’t stop.
“Machine learning can adopt status quo based on patterns and classifications because of biases,” said Snyder Caron. To avoid problems such as discrimination, there needs to be increased diversity at the beginning of the AI process. For example, having a diversity of people inputting data could remove a layer of biases.
Bias, feminism and the campaign to stop killer robots
Erin Hunt, a humanitarian disarmament expert and program manager at Mines Action Canada, spoke about the darker side of AI—the dangers, in particular, of autonomous weapons.
With regards to autonomous weapons, aka Killer Robots, Hunt asked: “How are we sure they won’t distinguish atypical behavior?” Because they sometimes can’t distinguish between civilians and combatants, they don’t conform to human rights laws.
Hunt spoke about how biases lead to mistakes, and presented an example of a study of AI identification where 34.7 per cent of dark-skinned women were identified as men. Some AI target people that shouldn’t be targeted, such as people with disabilities. For example, there are regions of the world where people don’t have access to prosthetic limbs and use wood or metal as substitutes. This could be picked up by the AI as a rifle, thus having failed its job.
Technical difficulties with Skype during the panel further enforced Hunt’s point that if we can’t get a simple call from Ottawa to go through, we shouldn’t have autonomous weapons.
Zachary Devereaux (pictured) is the director of public sector services at Nexalogy. Photo by Hannah Ewen.
AI and disinformation campaigns
Zachary Devereaux, director of public sector services at Nexalogy, said there are two ways to train AI: supervised, which “requires human annotated data that the machine can extrapolate from to do the same types of judgement itself,” and unsupervised machine learning, where machines autonomously decide what judgement is necessary.
“Once you see a suggestion from AI as to what you should reply on your email, or once you see a suggestion from AI on how you should complete your sentence, you can’t unsee it,” said Devereaux.
“As humans, we’re so intellectually lazy—automated processes: we love them and we accept them,” said Devereaux. But because of this, the behaviour nudging Snyder Caron spoke about becomes cyclical, such as with Spotify and Google Home. “It’s our feedback to these systems that’s training AI to be smarter.”
AI and the rules-based international order
“Artificial intelligence should be grounded in human rights,” said Tara Denham, director of the Democracy Unit at Global Affairs Canada.
Denham acknowledged that AI makes mistakes, which can enforce discriminatory practices. It is an important question to ask how AI is already impacting biases and how they impact the future, seeing as “the future is evolving at an incredibly fast pace,” said Denham. One challenge is using systems that will amplify discriminatory practices, especially in growing countries who might not have the ability to work around them, according to Denham.
“When talking about ethics, they cannot be negotiated on an international level,” said Denham. Each country has their own ethics framework which may not be accepted or practiced elsewhere. In this scope, it’s important to have a common language and concepts to advance negotiations about human rights globally.
To my dearest readers (you know it’s going to be cheesy from here on out), the time has come for me to say goodbye—but only for now!
These last few months, I’ve shared my thoughts, experiences and feelings with you about being single and trying out the dating scene. While it’s been a little scary to put it all out on the line for all those who read this, it’s also been quite a cathartic experience. In case some of you didn’t notice, I don’t actually have my life together; this column was as much of a learning and comforting experience for me as it was for you.
On that note, hopefully I’ve comforted some of you with the fact that you’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you when shit hits the fan or when things fall through. At the end of the day, it’s all about being okay with yourself and knowing that you’re a badass person. Someone somewhere, one day, will be lucky to be with you. But until then, remember that being in a healthy relationship with yourself is the most important thing, and that being single doesn’t mean you’re not worth loving or that you’ll never find someone.
As I always say, things may suck for a bit—sometimes for a while—and it might seem like an eternity, but it never lasts. With summer (finally!) almost here, take these few months to try out the dating scene, continue meeting new people, fall in love, get your heart broken, break someone’s heart—but try to be gentle when you do it. Heck, you can even say ‘screw it’ and live your best single life!
In the end, the most important thing to remember is that no matter what happens, good, bad or nothing at all, just make an art of being single, because it won’t last forever.
While Le 1370 Bar Villeray may be a new project for the Verrillo family, the resto-bar business isn’t. Pasquale “Pat” Verrillo has been in the business for over 40 years. Starting at 12 years old, he worked in the reception hall of a church as a waiter. The now 62-year-old has since worked his way up and has owned eight bars and restaurants—or a combination of the two—both in Montreal and Italy.
The building’s owner reached out to the Verrillo’s when the previous owners abandoned the bar last August. “It was kind of a dump,” said Damiano, one of Pat’s two sons. “There was garbage everywhere, the basement was dirty. It was a ‘what are we getting ourselves into?’ kind of thing. But after a couple of days of cleaning, we really saw the potential in the place.”
Once they got the keys, the process of tearing it down and building it back up to the family’s taste began. Pat opened the doors to Le 1370 Bar Villeray (located at, you guessed it, 1370 Villeray St.) for the first time Wednesday, March 27, along with his sons, Damiano and Daniel. In Pat’s words: “It was an expected one.”
Pat poses with one of his two sons, Damiano, with whom he opened the resto-bar. Photo by Mackenzie Lad.
“This was a place that was very dear to my heart because I used to hang around here and I grew up two streets away,” Pat said about the bar, which was called Le Taverne Villeray back in the day. “When I was younger, I used to sit at a table—that table right there,” he continued, motioning to a table a few feet away. “Not exactly that one, but that’s the spot.”
Despite it being a big project to take on, it’s nothing new for the Verrillo family. “Every year, we give ourselves a project, whether it’s renovations in our house or something exterior, and I guess this year, this was our project,” said Damiano.
The bar now has a cozy, ambient atmosphere, and a whole new design. The tiled ceiling is covered in painted red roses, and the middle section is a square of ultra-glossy black ceramic tiles. All the walls are painted black, but a wall of windows facing the street is perfect for summer and will add another element to the bar’s ambiance.
“It was a bond between myself, my father and my brother,” said Daniel, in regards to taking on this project. Daniel was able to work with his family and finally experience what his dad has been doing for decades, so he said the project meant a lot to him. “What’s different about this is that we got to experience […] this business with him,” said Daniel, comparing it to the stories Pat would tell him about the resto-bar business.
As a carpenter, Daniel was a big part of the hands-on side of the project, adding wood touches to bring out a rustic feel. Eclectic by nature, the bar is also a cool spot to hang out, watch sports, play pool, and jam to live music or the variety of music booming through the speakers.
“We are going to try to do things that other bars don’t do. We are going to do comedy nights, game nights, Latino nights—different events to get different types of people to come here,” said Damiano. “Everyone is welcome to come.” In particular, they hope to cater to young people by implementing a student discount, seeing as Damiano is a student himself and it’s the first thing he asks when he’s out in the city.
“People were more excited for [the bar] to be opened again. For most of the locals here, this was their main bar,” said Damiano. “People got used to the place, so when it just closed unexpectedly, a lot of them were like ‘where do we go now?’”
While helping out with renovations at the bar, Damiano is also completing an undergraduate degree in economics at Concordia, as well as holding down a job. “I don’t really have that stay-at-home-all-day day off. I always lived by ‘If you want something in life, you have to put the effort in,’ no matter where you start or what age you’re at.”
“It’s the beginning of our rodeo and we’re going to try to make this work and that’s it,” said Daniel. While it may be the beginning of this rodeo, it’s surely not their first.
For more information about theme nights or events visit Le 1370 Bar Villeray’s website.
