To my fellow Montrealers on summer etiquette

For half the year, our great city is pedestrian-unfriendly: the ones courageous enough to brave the snow, wind and cold are mostly mummified. But your smiling faces, sun-kissed skin and sunglasses tell me that summer has finally hit the city. It’s so nice to see you all out and about again.

Having said that, I speak for many (I am sure) in telling you that there are too many things you do that are downright irritating.

First, the busy downtown streets are not a good place for you and your eight friends to have a stroll and stop abruptly after every few steps you take. Many of us walk with a purpose, like getting to work, class, the train, metro or bus station or finding the nearest air-conditioned building. Please, single file lines only and always keep the left sidewalk lane free for passing.

Second, that stench you smell may not be that of hot garbage piling up on the street. It might be you. It happens to the best of us (no, not really). The worst thing to do in this case is to try to eliminate or mask the odour by spraying yourself with cologne, perfume, Axe or Miami Playboy body spray, Febreze or any similar product. That would be like pouring orange juice over your cereal. You can definitely still pick up on both “flavours” and the combination is just awful.

Third, if you’re going to be courageous enough to show your feet in public, please take care of them and trim those dragon claws. If you’re going to wear socks with sandals, why not just opt for shoes or boots?

See you all around. I’ll be the guy growling at the slow walkers.

For half the year, our great city is pedestrian-unfriendly: the ones courageous enough to brave the snow, wind and cold are mostly mummified. But your smiling faces, sun-kissed skin and sunglasses tell me that summer has finally hit the city. It’s so nice to see you all out and about again.

Having said that, I speak for many (I am sure) in telling you that there are too many things you do that are downright irritating.

First, the busy downtown streets are not a good place for you and your eight friends to have a stroll and stop abruptly after every few steps you take. Many of us walk with a purpose, like getting to work, class, the train, metro or bus station or finding the nearest air-conditioned building. Please, single file lines only and always keep the left sidewalk lane free for passing.

Second, that stench you smell may not be that of hot garbage piling up on the street. It might be you. It happens to the best of us (no, not really). The worst thing to do in this case is to try to eliminate or mask the odour by spraying yourself with cologne, perfume, Axe or Miami Playboy body spray, Febreze or any similar product. That would be like pouring orange juice over your cereal. You can definitely still pick up on both “flavours” and the combination is just awful.

Third, if you’re going to be courageous enough to show your feet in public, please take care of them and trim those dragon claws. If you’re going to wear socks with sandals, why not just opt for shoes or boots?

See you all around. I’ll be the guy growling at the slow walkers.

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