We are Mitz, Ryan, and Conor from this obscure Montreal band called Mavo. If you haven’t heard of us, you’re probably among the hundreds of people who never showed up to our secret gig.
For what it’s worth, here’s our best effort at guiding you through this year’s POP Montreal Festival. You can follow this guide whether you’re a band, like us, or just a music fan – who is most likely poor – like us. We know how you feel; we were students, too. We’ve been there, eating leftover pasta every day while watching HBO series online. But we have good news! You can use this formula as a way to successfully survive POP. Just replace pasta with alcohol and HBO with live music.
Here are a few more tips on how to navigate the mean streets of Montreal, all while avoiding bouncers, bad music and annoying hipsters.
– If you are too poor to pay for shows, you can always volunteer and get a volunteer pass. This isn’t like the iPod you’ll never win after answering 500 online surveys. You can just volunteer and get a pass. That will get you into Any. Show. You. Like. That’s right. Except it’s probably too late to sign up this year. I guess you’ll just have to wait for next year to trade your benevolent spirit for swag.
– Check the schedule at pop.montreal.com/en/festival, decide which bands you want to see and make an itinerary. Don’t do this while cooking, like Mitz did, or you’ll end up having to replace the oven hood and repaint around the stove from the fire this may cause.
– Grease up that bike chain! Heck, tune up the whole machine. You may have to ride hard across town to cram in all the shows you want to see. (editor’s note: buy a ticket to any show and for $10 extra, get a POP Hoppers pass that lets you into any show that night).
– If you end up going under the overpass on du Parc Avenue just north of Van Horne Avenue, watch out for pigeons. They don’t fear humans anymore and they shit with impunity. I know. It makes us angry too that they don’t fear humans anymore. Now we know how God feels about us. Amen to that.
– Don’t burn out on the first day or two. Remember this is a five-day festival, so pace yourself like old people do on cruise ships. You don’t want to be like Aunt Gloria who went ape-shit in Marseille and then spent the next four days throwing up in her cabin, missing out on Greece and Italy.
– Eat whatever you want before the shows, just be sure to map out the venues that have good bathrooms, like Casa del Popolo. They have really nice facilities where you can poo in safety and comfort.
– Make sure to buy a ticket for a band you really want to see. You’ll regret it if you don’t. And if you’re female, don’t think you can use your feminine wiles to sneak into the show, because honestly, most of the front-of-house volunteers are girls. Good for us, bad for you.
– If the weather is excellent, bring out your tank top but leave the Lululemon at home. This also goes under “common sense.” I mean, do you want to be liked or not? For the love of God, keep your overpriced yoga wear at home.
– Finally, come see us play with Shonen Knife on Thursday. If you’re too young to know who Shonen Knife is, then just pretend you do. That’s the only way you’re going to compete with the cool kids and music nerds.
Now go forth and prosper. And come to our show… seriously, please do!
Mavo will be playing Cabaret du Mile End (5240 du Parc Ave.) at 9:30 p.m. Sept. 30 for POP Montreal. Listen to them by checking out this week’s playlist: 8tracks.com/the_concordian/pop-montreal-taster.