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Another week in the world of sports

by The Concordian February 14, 2001
Mario’s going down with a back injury again, go figure.
Actually, I’m surprised Lemieux has lasted as long as he did. Mind you, everytime he plays, the other teams are so awe-struck while he’s on the ice that they’re afraid to hit him. If I was Pat Quinn in the game he returned against Toronto, they’d be raising Lemieux’s jersey back up to the rafters after the game.
Don’t get me wrong, I think Lemieux is one of the best going, bad back and all. I’m just surprised how everyone treats him like a Go-Go dancer on skates-they just like to watch, but aren’t allowed to touch.
Nobody checks the guy and not because he can’t be caught (he has slowed down considerably, you can tell). If Bill Guerin can win the fastest skating competition at the All-Star skills competition, there has to be somebody with the wheels to catch him.
But it seems as if a lot of the game’s super stars are going down with injuries as of late. Al MacInnis got a stick in the eye in a game against San Jose, so his future has been up in the air ever since. It’s funny how back in ‘the day’ no one got eye injuries and there’s a good reason for it…no helmets. It’s as if when a player dons a top, all moral reasoning flies out the window.
I believe I have a theory to back this up. The helmet, somehow, pinches that part of the brain, which controls logical decision making. Therefore, players like Marty McSorely, who clubbed Donald Brashear and has had various other stick infractions, has absolutely no control over his actions…I guess it’s Jofa’s fault.
Seriously though, I think some players have just lost respect for each other on the ice nowadays. For some reason, protective headgear has become a license to decapitate.
So should we make all players go ‘canless’…no. There should be, however, some kind of workshop for stick-swingers. This killer-B movie on ice could end some day, but for now there’s more baton swinging than the Rose Bowl parade.
Hi, my name is Marty, and I’m a slash-o-holic.

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