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The Piggy’s Potato

by The Concordian March 29, 2011
The Piggy’s Potato

Bacon: God's Greatest Vegetable

In light of Epic Meal Time’s wild success, the People’s Potato is turning their vegan kitchen into a meat-friendly zone.

“The pressure was too much and we needed to meet the growing demand for bacon,” said Wilbur Gammon, a chef at the People’s Potato. “Before the videos came out, I had not eaten meat for 17 years and now it’s part of my daily diet.”

Switching over the kitchen was difficult, as serving meat goes against everything the soup kitchen has written in their constitution. In order to both serve bacon and meet their mission statement criteria, which includes challenging corporate involvement in food production and distribution, the worker-run collective has decided to start breeding pigs in the university’s greenhouse.

“You might be thinking space is limited up there, and it is,” says Gammon. “But we are vying for a fee levy in this week’s elections in order to build 10 additional pens.”

Surprisingly, the Your Action slate, known bacon-lovers, have endorsed the fee levy. They both said there is no way to justify the high fees in breeding pigs at school when much cheaper alternatives, like buying the cast-offs from the slaughterhouses, exist.

Gammon admits that it has been hard to get people on board to support the initiative and says one of the biggest struggles is actually serving the bacon-eaters. Something that is hard because of the swarms of protesters that line up in front of the People’s Potato.

Earlier today, protesters were seen carrying signs that read “Bacon = murder!” and “Pigs are people too!” While the individuals picketing would not identify themselves, there has been speculation that they are affiliated with one of the CSU slates, though no one would say which and whether this rumour was true. Some even claim no protesters protested at all.

“I was at the People’s Potato for lunch yesterday and the only people there were eating,” said Anon Ymous. “At one point though someone did yell for more bacon, but that was it.”

Members of YouTube sensation Epic Meal Time are proud of their show’s success and the influence it has had on their community. When asked about their most glorious moment they said, “Being on Jay Leno was awesome, but starting “protests” at Concordia is so much cooler.”

They would not speak to the speculation of a future episode being filmed at the People’s Potato but did say that if they were ever to film there, they would show the collective who the real “Sauce Boss” is.

While Gammon feels badly for the vegans who will now starve to death due to the changes within the kitchen, he feels worse for himself.

“Adding meat back into my diet has not been easy on my [hipster] reputation,” said Gammon “But, I have begun growing dreadlocks in hopes of maintaining my credibility.”

 

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